Advice Needed

[Laura.]

Well my mum and dad have recently divorced. In the car about a month ago she goes do you mind if i see someone else and i go no, no problem. It didnt bother me cos i knew that it would make her happier than she is.

Now Today, she then says at christmas im not going to invite your dad for Christmas dinner and I go no hes coming, she goes no theres no point and I go no i want him to come hes my dad, if he isnt related to you any more he is still my dad, and i want him there for the meal. she then goes but it isnt fair if im seeing someine else and i say they cant come down for Christmas dinner but then invite your Dad which i have no relationship with anymore. I then get really uptight and started saying, no I want him there he is my dad, the person who helped make me and so on. Now she is saying if you want to goto your dad's pub for Christmas dinner with everyone else its ok..

This is where the problem begins...

I want to have a meal with my mum and dad. I cant decide which one to go to. Could anyone please help me decide.

Thanks :)

[Seacat]

I know how you feel and it's a tough decision because you don't want to upset either one etc - but if they are split up and your mum is meeting other people, then it's going to cause difficulty between your mum and her new boyfriend if her ex-husband is eating christmas dinner with her still.

Take it in turns each year - because even if they did end up having christmas dinner togethor this year, it's unlikely it will happen again next year, so you may aswell start to accept it now :)

[Laura.]

Thanks Seacat thats helped. This year I might go to my dads, then next year ill go to my mums. You have helped. + Rep :)

[Victimized]

Why don't you spend like Christmas dinner with your mum and then New Years or something with your dad?

[Aliness]

Why dont you ask them to put them at different times :o
Then you get two meals! Woo!
Try not to make one of them feel left out, :(
Im sure you'll have fun,
GOOD LUCK <333

[Laura.]

Thanks I Will +rep People Who Help :)

[Victimized]

Two meals sounds good!

[Dan Williamson]

Too be honest i think you shouldn't count on anyones opinions in the forum on this matter.

As the choice is purely your own, as i'm sure it will be a terrible choice but perhaps you could do as you said Have christmas dinner with say your Dad, yet spend the rest of the day with your Mum or vice versa

Hope this helped

- Dan

[NekkLe]

Like Dan said^^

I don't think its a choice of who you go to eat dinner with, its whats your decision, you may have picked the best one by eating a meal with your dad.

When parents split up, its hard to make decisions between the two. This causes pressure on yourself sometimes and now that they've split up, you've got to be thinking and deciding on what you want for them and yourself.
I know how you feel, I'm in your position, and luckily, my mum and dad are friends but are not together. But its nice to see them both talking to each other as if they were just normal friends.
Christmas is about family and getting together, I think its your decision that counts the most here, so go with it :)

Hope you decide for the best.

#NekkLe

[Laura.]

Like Dan said^^

I don't think its a choice of who you go to eat dinner with, its whats your decision, you may have picked the best one by eating a meal with your dad.

When parents split up, its hard to make decisions between the two. This causes pressure on yourself sometimes and now that they've split up, you've got to be thinking and deciding on what you want for them and yourself.
I know how you feel, I'm in your position, and luckily, my mum and dad are friends but are not together. But its nice to see them both talking to each other as if they were just normal friends.
Christmas is about family and getting together, I think its your decision that counts the most here, so go with it :)

Hope you decide for the best.

#NekkLe


My parents are the same, but they split up a few years back but we always had the same routine on Christmas Day.. My dad came round at 9 on Christmas day to see me and my two brothers, we then went up to my Dads Mum and dad(my nan and grand-dad) and we had my cousins, autie all the people off my dads side but my mum never went as she was getting ready and going round to her friends houses to get card and stuff. got back home at about 12:00 I got ready to go to my dads for a meal. i would then go up to my dads pub at 1:30 with my brothers and mum, have a meal with all the family and so on. We(mum and two brothers and I) got back at around 8, watch some tv then my dad would come around at 9 mum would do a selection of food. We then would have some crackers. dad went home. And that was the end. This has been every year since I can remember.

Now its going to change.

I think ive made up my decision but I dont know whether it right..

Ill sleep on it tonight.. when i go to bed in a few hours.

Thanks for help as I said before +rep :)

Lozza x

[Eamonn]

Women normally cave in with guilt make her feel so guilty its unbelievable , then say your going to your Dad's and say like i hope you enjoy your christmas without me and stuff like that

[$@m]

I know how you must feel, but don't let that ruin your Christmas.

If I was you, I would spend Christmas dinner with one parent, and then on Boxing Day or something spend it with the oppisite parent.

Hope this helps,

$@m

[Xela]

I would go with your dad as im guessing he is not seeing anyone and would be more upset then your mum.

[BLuweesH]

It sounds like your mum is afraid. I mean, people move on with relationships, correct? So why's your mum so afraid to allow him see that she has a new partner in her life? Unless of course she hates your father, but like, is there some rule that she's not meant to move on and is breaking it? Your mother's afraid...

[Stacey.]

Well my mum and dad have recently divorced. In the car about a month ago she goes do you mind if i see someone else and i go no, no problem. It didnt bother me cos i knew that it would make her happier than she is.

Now Today, she then says at christmas im not going to invite your dad for Christmas dinner and I go no hes coming, she goes no theres no point and I go no i want him to come hes my dad, if he isnt related to you any more he is still my dad, and i want him there for the meal. she then goes but it isnt fair if im seeing someine else and i say they cant come down for Christmas dinner but then invite your Dad which i have no relationship with anymore. I then get really uptight and started saying, no I want him there he is my dad, the person who helped make me and so on. Now she is saying if you want to goto your dad's pub for Christmas dinner with everyone else its ok..

This is where the problem begins...

I want to have a meal with my mum and dad. I cant decide which one to go to. Could anyone please help me decide.

Thanks :)


My mum and dad split up ages ago, but they sorted it out between them. I go to my nans with my dad for christmas one year, then stay at my mum for another year. Just give them time, they should sort it out.

:)

[Embean]

Ouch, I really know how annoying this is. I once went to my friends to stay over last christmas and she has EXACTLY the same problem. So don't worry. Lots of people have been where you have been before! How about you spend some of the day with your dad and the rest with your mum? Like you could maybe have lunch with your dad. And dinner with your mum. Or if you don't like that idea. You could spend christmas with one person. And then spent New years day or Christmas eve with the other one. I really hope everything goes well and that you have a fun time :D Emmy x