Story- 'Bullying' Chapter 1

[allykin]

This is a story because if youw ere bullied,in real you wouldn't like it, it hurts
you. And that person bullying you loves it but they should know how it feels
to be bullied.
A Story i made up.

Chapter 1: Stop before it's to late.

Emma is only 9 years old, she lives with her mum and step dad every day when she goes school, everyone picks on her because her dad is in prison, and everyone takes the miky. Only one girl is her friend she is called Katie.
And the story begins:
Emma was leaving to school and she was walking alone because katie had a virus, so she was going to be alone all day. As she was walking to school, the main bullys went up to her and they start to shove and push her and one boy
punches her in the face. Then they all ran off, and left Emma alone lieing on
the concrete hard ground, with black eye and bruises.
15minuetes later emma gets up, and finds her bag and phone gone.
She starts to cry and cry until the tears have gone, she then starts to walk to school, she covers her bruises with plasters and puts splodges of foundation on her black eye. She get's to school and say's i'm really sorry i'm late, she was about to say the boys beat her up, but then the boys who were at the back threatened her and started using movements to how they would beat her up. She stopped her word and said i tripped up, and had to go home to cover the blood on my knee. The teacher believed her.
At lunch time, she went to the toilet, and was about to leave the toilets & open the door and she stopped and heard something, 2 girls called Nikki & Macey were saying hey i'm going to go to katies house today she doesn't need that lil stupid girl emma, all we have to do is trick her into being our friends and when she is
emma will be all alone all afraid all beatan up. Emma stopped and tried to stick up for herself and believe in herself but she couldn't do it, she couldn't go out the door and say NO! you can't she won't believe you i will tell her what you said. But she was afraid and didn't. She came out the toilets 5minuetes later. After school finished she got home and rang katie and told her what happened, but katie said look there trying to be my friends and your stopping them, JUST BECAUSE I'M GONNA BE POPULAR AND YOUR NOT!
And she slammed the phone down. Emma didn't know what was going on.

Maybe Nikki & Macey got to her house before emma rang her.

What will Emma do?

Find out in chapter 2
Coming tomorrow 3rd November

[Addie]

Omg 10/10 Moreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

[OMGitsaROSS]

:l
that isrubbish
why would a 9yearo ld have a fone?
why would a 9yearo ld have foundation?
that is stupid :l

if you changed it it cood be good :l

[Brody]

of course 9 year oldas have fones now

[allykin]

i had a fone wen i was 7 but it wuznt decent
i had makeup wen i wuz lyk 8 ;p

[OMGitsaROSS]

are you spoilt?
seriously
kids these days are gettin stuff earlierand earlier
i gt my fone 3years ago :l

[Brody]

how old r u out of interest

[OMGitsaROSS]

13 :)

y do you ask?

[Brody]

jus wondered cus like u say u only got ur fone 3 years ago thats still quite young i got mine wen i was 9 but my little bro who is 6 has a fone im 14 now btw

[OMGitsaROSS]

i just think it is rediculous for people that young to have phones they are not responsible enough, i wasnt and i know that.
12 is a responsible age, 9 is just silly and 6 wth???

[allykin]

lol i had myn at 7 but it wuz only for emergency n evrytin n to play games n
maybe sneak textin ;p

[ChloeDust]

Boro, you say you're 13 and you got your phone three years ago, that makes you 10, wow 1 year older than 9, big difference? o.O;;

Anyways back on topic, yeh good story i can't wait to read more =]

[allykin]

thnx i myt post chapter 2 in a min.

[xhannx]

Please, do!

[allykin]

Chapter 2: Will she believe me?

As Emma was thinking hard, she had a lightbulb flash on her head, and she decided to go to Katie's house and say to her what happened, and to believe her because that's what bffl was. But then on second hands she still might be mad with her. But Emma done the right thing and went to her house, she walked to her house which was round the block. She looked up and saw Katie's window and saw Macey, Nikki and Katie having pillow fight with really buff boys Emma had always fancied! Emma felt she couldn't talk to her at this time. But she had to she wanted to. She pressed the doorbell, and Macey looked out the window, Katie said i'll go get that, but Macey said it's my phone it always does that when i have a text, but of course she was lieing.

Emma knew this was a bad time so she went home. She waited till tomorrow to sort things out, so at school the next day she went to Katie and said Hi Katie. Katie said back off loser and kissed her boyfriend Leo.
Emma was angry, mad and annoyed of how Katie blew her off like that.
The truth is Emma doesn't know macey and nikki are using Katie, to get revenge on Emma.

You see, 4years ago when they were 5 years old in reception.
Emma used to bully Macey & Nikki because they were fat.
But until year 3 they lost weight and there skinnier then Emma now in year 5.

After school she knew Katie goes other way to Macey & Nikki, so when Katie was walking on her own home. She went up to her and said Katie wait up!
and Katie stopped and said what do you want! Emma said look please, i overheard them talking the other day in the hallway how to get revenge on me, and you were the only way to get revenge, Katie you have to listen there not your friends there users! I beg you please just go back to how things were normal! Katie then says look i have a boyfriend and loads of popular mates that's all i wanted and maybe you shouldn't of bullied them in reception, now you know how it feels!
Emma says look i was 5years old i didn't know why i did it.
Katie- well now it's there turn
Emma- they've been doing it since year 3!
Katie-:( Just leave me alone.

Emma started to cry.
But then a idea came right in her head how to get her best friend Katie back.

Make sure you tune into tomorrow for episode 3 of Emma's Revenge

[xhannx]

Damn yoo =P Tell the whole story!

[allykin]

i fort it wud be gd to end der:D
but ders moreeeeee

[xhannx]

But its TOMORROW
I can't wait til then ='(

[RedStratocas]

You should proof read before you post, a lot of things didnt make any sense at all. Just a few things I noticed:

1. Why does a 9 year old have a cell phone? Im 15 and dont have one and dont need one. The majority of teens today dont need a cell phone other than to have one because they are popular. I doubt a 9 year old would need one at all. Most 9 year olds dont need a bag either
2. I dont think a cell phone sounds anything like a doorbell, or no where near loud enough.
3. Theyre 9! How "buff" can the boys be? And how many 9 year olds have relationships?
4. No one says "Im going to be popular". No popular people say that they are popular. If anyone says they are popular, they arent. Popular is a state of mind.
5. Why can't Emma just let Katie be? It isnt the law that if you are friends once, you will always be friends and one cant find other friends. Emma is still a bully if she cant let someone have friends, weather they are using eachother or not.
6. Boys dont simply go up to girls and punch them in the face for no reason at all, at any age. If the kids are that immature to do that, they are too immature for a cellphone.
7. It doesnt seem like Katie is being harmed by this. She might be being used, but how is this bad in her view? She has new friends, a boyfriend, and is popular, and she didnt have to do anything.
8. Is it even possible for girls at that age to call someone and say "Want to be my friend?" and the person is immediatly popular?

[Crouch]

Erm Boro, its one year of a difference, so keep on subject and stop being awkward

[Toes]

More please :D

[Colourful™]

The grammer is wrong. In the first sentence you should have a comma, then a full-stop. Not 2 commas, it sounds weird. It is also very strange that a random boy comes up to her on his own and punches her in the face for no reason. Maybe verbal abuse and pushing would be better, and you need capital letters at the start of ALL names and places. You should write it out, and re-draft it line by line. Doing that will get it top-notch.
4/10

[allykin]

thnx for the erm suport >;l erm there lyk year 5 and i had a mobile in year 3, and they bully her becus of her dad so they like do it for fun.
This is chapter 3:

All emma knew was that they were using katie and soon later ditch her, and try and get me to hate her and she would want me back. But all i knew was that the only way to get her back was to steal the cctv tape from the office, as theres a camera in the hallway and i could steal it and show her what they really are!
As Emma was at home sitting on her bed, she was waiting for time to fly past.
So she watched a film called MEANGirls, and had plenty ideas from that.
At 1:00am she slowly creeped out her bed, down the staircase, unlocked the door and shut quietly, then locked it. She walked in the dark sky to her school, and she smashed the window and realised they didn't put the alarm on so she was lucky. She went into the office and looked through the tapes and found last weeks tape then quickly took it and ran out the door through the office and jumped out the window.
She then saw a police officer standing right infront of her and gulped.

The reason why the alarm didn't go off was because it was a silent alarm and the police got a signal that the alarm was going off.
Find out what happens in chapter 4

[Addie]

:@ I NEED MORE! 1O/10 BUT I NEED MORNESS!

[Embean]

i just think it is rediculous for people that young to have phones they are not responsible enough, i wasnt and i know that.
12 is a responsible age, 9 is just silly and 6 wth???

You do know people can be different you know.
So what you wasn't responsible when you was blooming 10.
That's you're problem, maybe these kids nowdays are more mature, ever thought of that!? jesus christ.

[Colourful™]

The grammer is all wrong which ruins it really. The ending is quite rushed too.

[allykin]

well, im not the best writer im bad at english and im tryin and dont jus say dats rong dis n dat cus i do try kk?
im not like u
I dont write fabulus but i try kk

[RedStratocas]

well, im not the best writer im bad at english and im tryin and dont jus say dats rong dis n dat cus i do try kk?
im not like u
I dont write fabulus but i try kk

If you cant take people critisizing it, then dont write, you cant handle it. Thats all part of writing, you cant change that.

[allykin]

i put dat story on
to lyk show ppl wot i wrote not
'The worst story'
i try my best kk i just want to show ppl what i can do.

[Brody]

reallly good dddddddddddddddddd

[RedStratocas]

i put dat story on
to lyk show ppl wot i wrote not
'The worst story'
i try my best kk i just want to show ppl what i can do.

Im not saying it was the worst story ever, and you have the right to put write what you want. But dont get mad when people critesize you, because thats part of writing. If only good critisizm happened, every movie would be the greatest movie ever, all shows would be the greatest show ever, and all books would be the greatest books ever. So people making suggestions and telling you things that are wrong with it isnt being mean. Its part of writing.

And thanks to whoever bad repped me on this saying I was harsh because I wasent.

[Shampoo]

its pretty poor, and uninteresting.

[Extra77]

O.ooooooooo