Make me laugh, win a prize. ;o

[Biseinen]

Simple as that, the better the laugh, the better the prize, tell me a joke, tell me a story, must be original and not stolen from anywhere...

If you don't make me laugh, I will point at you, call you pathetic and throw a spanner at you. =D

Go for it. \/

[ross]

The Penguin next door was so old, when I told him to act his own age, he died.

[GoldenBiscuit]

The Penguin next door was so old, when I told him to act his own age, he died.
Lmao. I like that one. ;)

[ilovejordan]

The Penguin next door was so old, when I told him to act his own age, he died.
Ross thats not funny.
I know what is

Yours and trunks' session on msn last night
guess what i have screenies.
Now trunks laugh :p x

[-Soph-]

I dont need to say anything!
Just look at klock's avatar :p

[haha not saying its bad... its just funny :p]

[GoldenBiscuit]

I dont need to say anything!
Just look at klock's avatar :p

[haha not saying its bad... its just funny :p]
Mhmm, sorry, I forgot to laugh. :rolleyes:

[ross]

One day a Grape was quietly lieing on the floor, when all of a sudden over came a big massive Elephant - he stepped on the Grape and what did the Grape do?

Nothing, he just let out a little 'wine'

[ilovejordan]

One day a Grape was quietly lieing on the floor, when all of a sudden over came a big massive Elephant - he stepped on the Grape and what did the Grape do?

Nothing, he just let out a little 'wine'
dont get it :(

[-Soph-]

LMAO ^_^ klock ;p

Im bad at jokes, anyway, all mine are dirty [well most of them :(]

[OMGitsaROSS]

knock knock

whos there
big ish
bigsh who?

not today thanks


pmsl classic =]

[GoldenBiscuit]

LMAO ^_^ klock ;p

Im bad at jokes]

You've shown that already. :rolleyes:

[ross]

Knock knock,

Who's there?

Gorillaz..

Gorillaz who?

Go-grill us a Hamburger, I'm starving.

[--ss--]

the person from next door nocked at my door at christmas and i told him its not halloween any more :S he goes i know ,so i go why are you wearing a mask he goes i aint this is my sexhi face rofl.

[Originalities]

Knock knock,

Who's there?

Gorillaz..

Gorillaz who?

Go-grill us a Hamburger, I'm starving.

:P Klock. your really desperate to get Trunks to laugh aint ya :P

Originalities / Dazza

[GoldenBiscuit]

Knock knock,

Who's there?

Gorillaz..

Gorillaz who?

Go-grill us a Hamburger, I'm starving.
You're sure alot better at jokes than me. :)
Pfft... :rolleyes:

[Magnet]

Why should I make you laugh. Just imagine your mathes teachers head on the body of a fly :)

[ilovejordan]

Why should I make you laugh. Just imagine your mathes teachers head on the body of a fly :)
LMAO
that made me laugh:rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes:

[Magnet]

I knew it!

Now imagine it on a butterfly and a smartie.

[Digital]

LMAO
that made me laugh:rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes:
OMGZ who is Ross?????????? :'( :'(

[Magnet]

Klock... LOOOOOOOOOOOL!

[Toes]

Mary had a little lamb,
Her father shoot it dead,
Then she took the lamb to school,
Between 2 bits of bread!!!!

Mary had a little lamb,
She also had a bear,
I've often seen her little lamb,
But never seen her bear! ( Bear as in nakie! )

Say the word COW before each word.

1 - Cows
2 - About
3 - Talking
4 - Idiot
5 - This
6 - Got
7 - I
8 - Long
9 - How
10 - Look


Now say the word COW After each word

1 - Cows
2 - About
3 - Talking
4 - Idiot
5 - This
6 - Got
7 - I
8 - Long
9 - How
10 - Look


Now say the word COW before AND after each word.

1 - Cows
2 - About
3 - Talking
4 - Idiot
5 - This
6 - Got
7 - I
8 - Long
9 - How
10 - Look


Now read just the words upwards from the bottom.

1 - Cows
2 - About
3 - Talking
4- Idiot
5 - This
6 - Got
7 - I
8 - Long
9 - How
10 - Look

[boselect]

Once upon a time, there lived a man who had a terrible passion
for baked beans. He loved them, but they always had an
embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction on him. One day he met
a girl and fell in love. When it became apparent that they would
marry, he thought to himself, she'll never go through with the
marriage with me carrying on like this, so he made the supreme
sacrifice and gave up beans.

Shortly after that they were married. A few months later, on his
birthday and on the way home from work, his car broke down.
Since they lived in the country, he called his wife and told her
that he would be late because he had to walk home. On his way
home, he passed a small cafe and the wonderful aroma of baked
beans overwhelmed him. Since he still had several miles to walk
he figured he could walk off any ill affects before he got home.
It was, after all, his birthday. So he went in and ordered, and
before leaving had 3 extra large helpings of baked beans.

All the way home he putt-putted. By the time he arrived home he
felt reasonably safe. His wife met him at the door and seemed
somewhat excited. She exclaimed, "Darling, I have the most
wonderful surprise for you for dinner tonight!" She put a
blindfold on him, and led him to his chair at the head of the
table and made him promise not to peak. At this point he was
beginning to feel another one coming on. Just as his wife was
about to remove the blindfold, the telephone rang. She again
made him promise not to peek until she returned, and away she
went to answer the phone. While she was gone, he seized the
opportunity. He shifted his weight to one leg and let go. It was
not only loud, but ripe as a rotten egg. He had a hard time
breathing, so he felt for his napkin and fanned the air about
him. He had just started to feel better, when another urge came
on. He raised his leg and RRIIPPP !!! It sounded like a diesel
engine revving, and smelled worse. To keep from gagging, he
tried fanning his arms a while, hoping the smell would
dissipate. He got another urge. This was a real blue ribbon
winner, the windows shook, the dishes on the table rattled and a
minute later the flowers on the table were dead.

With his blindfold still on, when he heard the phone farewells
he neatly laid his napkin on his lap and folded his hands on top
of it. Smiling contentedly, he was the picture of innocence when
his wife walked in. Apologizing for taking so long, she asked if
he had peeked at the dinner table. After assuring her he had not
peeked, she removed the blindfold and yelled, "SURPRISE!!!"

To his shock and horror, there were twelve dinner guests seated
around the table for his surprise birthday party.

go me LMAO

[ilovejordan]

I knew it!

Now imagine it on a butterfly and a smartie.
LMAOOO ON A SMARTIEEEEEE
:)


And ross im lovin your sig ;)

[Wootzeh]

What do you call a cat singing on steroids? Mizki.

[Toes]

What do you call a cat singing on steroids? Mizki.

Lmao, too true.

[Magnet]

LOL I lurbeh that one Brokenloser -rep (I mean +rep sorry loxl)

[ilovejordan]

Mary had a little lamb,
Her father shoot it dead,
Then she took the lamb to school,
Between 2 bits of bread!!!!

Mary had a little lamb,
She also had a bear,
I've often seen her little lamb,
But never seen her bear! ( Bear as in nakie! )

Say the word COW before each word.

1 - Cows
2 - About
3 - Talking
4 - Idiot
5 - This
6 - Got
7 - I
8 - Long
9 - How
10 - Look


Now say the word COW After each word

1 - Cows
2 - About
3 - Talking
4 - Idiot
5 - This
6 - Got
7 - I
8 - Long
9 - How
10 - Look


Now say the word COW before AND after each word.

1 - Cows
2 - About
3 - Talking
4 - Idiot
5 - This
6 - Got
7 - I
8 - Long
9 - How
10 - Look


Now read just the words upwards from the bottom.

1 - Cows
2 - About
3 - Talking
4- Idiot
5 - This
6 - Got
7 - I
8 - Long
9 - How
10 - Look
lmao! I fell for it :(
+ rep x

[ross]

LMAOOO ON A SMARTIEEEEEE
:)


And ross im lovin your sig ;)
Omg?! you did it.

[Toes]

LOL I lurbeh that one Brokenloser -rep (I mean +rep sorry loxl)


Magnet I hope that comment in rep rep was for the second joke 'coz if it wasn't... I'm lost!

[Eamonn]

Lols cassie DUMBO!!!!! :D

[ilovejordan]

Omg?! you did it.
No.. Honest :eusa_ange

And i think he meant good rep broken x

[Toes]

Lols cassie DUMBO!!!!! :D

Oi! Thats dumbo your talking about!

[Digital]

No.. Honest :eusa_ange

And i think he meant good rep broken x
You said you loved me. :@

[ilovejordan]

You said you loved me. :@
Who are you? :'( are you someone i know and had a name change?
and how dare you eamonn :( I GOTTA STAY ON TOPIC :(
Kkz erm
Look at your toe and wiggle it.
You'll laugh :p

[Digital]

Who are you? :'( are you someone i know and had a name change?
and how dare you eamonn :( I GOTTA STAY ON TOPIC :(
Kkz erm
Look at your toe and wiggle it.
You'll laugh :p
I'm teh BBC news man :|

[ilovejordan]

I'm teh BBC news man :|
He's fit.
Im trying to think of something to make trunks laugh :(

[Magnet]

Just say to him any random word like:

Hippo

He will pee his pants, I hope he has his scuba diving suit with him, he will pee him pants.

[Toes]

Has anyone noticed? Trunks is offline....?

[ilovejordan]

Just say to him any random word like:

Hippo

He will pee his pants, I hope he has his scuba diving suit with him, he will pee him pants.
then he wouldn't be able to get out?

[boselect]

Has anyone noticed? Trunks is offline....?


lol

o yer

[728487]

KAY

STAND UP .. GOTO DA MIRROER!



HA AHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHEHHEHEHEHEHEH


KBIO +_+

[ilovejordan]

KAY

STAND UP .. GOTO DA MIRROER!



HA AHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHEHHEHEHEHEHEH


KBIO +_+
Thats not funny -.-

[boselect]

KAY

STAND UP .. GOTO DA MIRROER!



HA AHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHEHHEHEHEHEHEH


KBIO +_+



tht just LAMEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



----------------------_____________________----------------------

[ilovejordan]

And very old ;)

[Magnet]

Pfft.. To make you laugh 728487, try eating 17 laxatives during class.

[guitarteen92]

......................wibble...................

[Victimized]

What did the blondes legs say when they met?

Nothing, they've never seen eachother before!

-----------------------------------------------

Why was 6 scared of 7?

Coz 7,8,9!

Okay there rubbish i no.

[Toes]

Wibble :P

[ilovejordan]

What did the blondes legs say when they met?

Nothing, they've never seen eachother before!

-----------------------------------------------

Why was 6 scared of 7?

Coz 7,8,9!

Okay there rubbish i no.
I dont get them :'(

[Victimized]

I dont get them :'(


1. Coz she's blonde and a tart so her legs are always open.

2. Coz 7, ate nine.

[Grabbed]

My dad got sent this one:

After numerous rounds of "We don't even know if Osama is still alive", Osama himself decided to send George Bush a letter in his own handwriting to let him know he was still in the game.

Bush opened the letter and it appeared to contain a coded message:
"370HSSV-0773H."

He was baffled, so he typed it out and emailed it to Cheney.

Cheney and his advisors had no clue either, so they sent it to the FBI.

No one could solve it so it went to the National Education Association and then to MIT.

Eventually they asked Britain's MI6 for help.
Of course, they quickly cracked the code and cabled Mr. Bush back:

"Tell the President he is looking at the message upside down."

[GoldenBiscuit]

My dad got sent this one:

After numerous rounds of "We don't even know if Osama is still alive", Osama himself decided to send George Bush a letter in his own handwriting to let him know he was still in the game.

Bush opened the letter and it appeared to contain a coded message:
"370HSSV-0773H."

He was baffled, so he typed it out and emailed it to Cheney.

Cheney and his advisors had no clue either, so they sent it to the FBI.

No one could solve it so it went to the National Education Association and then to MIT.

Eventually they asked Britain's MI6 for help.
Of course, they quickly cracked the code and cabled Mr. Bush back:

"Tell the President he is looking at the message upside down."
Roffle!
I like it. :P

[Emicat.]

*bump*

Dunno if ths has been posted....

How do you embrarras an Archiologist?

Give them a used tamp'on and ask them which period it came from.

[Frozen..]

Joke:- Habbox =]

[GJay]

Ross thats not funny.
I know what is

Yours and trunks' session on msn last night
guess what i have screenies.
Now trunks laugh :p x

and what session was this..

[ilovejordan]

It was a while ago gemma.. ;]

[GJay]

oh i was just wondering what it was a bout - why don't you PM me about it :P we don't want to clog up this thread now do we?

[ilovejordan]

actually i dont mind about cloggin up a thread lol the forums dead today anyway. Basically karl was being KINKY

[GJay]

How was he being kinky?

[ilovejordan]

i can't say lmao.
Ask him

[GJay]

He's unavailable at the moment...why don't you tell me now?

[ilovejordan]

cos i'll be banned rofl and i can't remember every detail

[GJay]

Well I'll go ask him then :)

[ilovejordan]

lmao okay whats 14 in french O.o *mind blank*

[Emicat.]

Oo er :/

Quatorz

[OMGitsaROSS]

Quatorze

[ilovejordan]

ty i love you so much lmao

[OMGitsaROSS]

lol xD

[ilovejordan]

I repped you <3

[RedStratocas]

Every Garfield comic EVER: (Thanks Maddox)

http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/images/gfsuck1b.gif
http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/images/gfsuck2.gif
http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/images/gfsuck2.gif
http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/images/gfsuck2.gif
http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/images/gfsuck2.gif
http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/images/gfsuck2.gif
http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/images/gfsuck2.gif
http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/images/gfsuck4a.gif

[ilovejordan]

He's unavailable at the moment...why don't you tell me now?

cos im busy

[Kasabian]

http://img240.imageshack.us/img240/7249/queerducksignatureresized1rk.png

That made me laugh ;P

[Colourful™]

Tom has already made a thread about this but it isn't his it's my mates and he posted it on my forum. I'l lgive him the credit for it. Made me laugh a lot.

From the words of an old lady:


"back in my day i had terrible actident. actually terrible's not the word. unbelievable the word. was it in the night, no it was in the day i remember. well i was on my bike, actually i think i was walking, well there i was and a ford car knocked me flat. was it a ford, no it was a toyota, well i wasnt actually flat i was on my side but anyway......

..stop interrubting, well were was i, oh yes. well i was on my bike or was i walking well anyway. oh i have lost my place. i will start over. well i was on my bike or was i walking well anyway. well then a tiger ran me over. no actually it was lion. no i mean a jaguar. well it knocked me flat. well actually i was on my side but i got up and then thebloke got out and told me what i was doing in the middle of the road, well i went mad.....

...well as i was saying i went mental, no actually i went mad, yes thats a better word, well i went mad and i told him f*** off you little a** hole, and he stock his finger up at me which was the style at the time, i didnt now what it ment but i guessing sorry."

"well anougher time i was in an accident, oh wait this is the same story"

[Adam$]

I can't be arsed to type out a joke, so here's a llama driving a F1 car.

http://www.smartt.com/~brianp/images/RaceCar.jpg

[GJay]

Ooo that Michael Schumacher then :P

[Biseinen]

Stupid thread bumpers. >_>