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View Full Version : My Teenage Daughter Is A Nightmare!!


Addie
10-12-2005, 06:21 PM
I saw a tv show and I'm kinda basing the story on it :)

Chapter One- Introduction.

Sarah is only thirteen. You'd think she was about seventeen though. She slept all day and went out to clubs at night about seven pm till five pm. She smoked and drunk alchohol. And when she came home she came in her window, and she didn't even go to school. She lived with her mum Louise and her eighteen year old sister Robyn. Robyn hit Sarah for no reason. And Sarah threw plates at her. Sarah wasn't ill or mental. She could be normal if she wanted, but she didn't want to be.

Chapter Two- At home

Pls comment. This one aint long as its introduction ok?.
kasi
10-12-2005, 06:57 PM
stop making storys and not finishing them. finish one then move on to another..

but this one sounds cool.
zak-x
10-12-2005, 07:00 PM
http://img526.imageshack.us/img526/594/fn7h910ko.jpg (http://imageshack.us)
Rosie
10-12-2005, 08:03 PM
http://img526.imageshack.us/img526/594/fn7h910ko.jpg (http://imageshack.us)
Tommy
10-12-2005, 08:05 PM
Sorry double post ;o
Tommy
10-12-2005, 08:05 PM
Wth is up with the shortness of the chapters? If you ever want to make a good book or story, learn to make full chapters.
Addie
10-12-2005, 09:50 PM
Wth is up with the shortness of the chapters? If you ever want to make a good book or story, learn to make full chaptErs.

I said its only short because its the introduction!
YellowParasol
10-12-2005, 10:03 PM
Sounds good so far.
Fruitbox.
16-12-2005, 02:21 PM
http://img526.imageshack.us/img526/594/fn7h910ko.jpg (http://imageshack.us)

http://img223.imageshack.us/img223/3818/lmao7bb.gifhttp://img223.imageshack.us/img223/3818/lmao7bb.gif
Habbox-Gal
16-12-2005, 02:41 PM
Carry on with chapter two two i wanna hear it
Addie
16-12-2005, 03:47 PM
Chapter Two-

Robyn made Sarah trip up and drop her dinner. So Sarah stood up with the plate and threw it at Robyn. Their mum came in and shouted ''SARAH! ROOM! NOW!'' Sarah kicked Robyn and said ''IT WAS HER FIRST'' ''SARAH!'' Her mum shouted. Sarah ran into her room. ''Right, 4pm. Ill get ready''She said to herself. She put her make-up on, done her hair and got dressed. Her mum came in and said ''SARAH. NO GOING OUT TONIGHT!'' Then left. About an hour later Sarah climbed out her window. Her mum went into her room. ''ROBYN!'' She yelled. Robyn came through and said ''Well, I hate her but we should look for her!'' So Robyn and their mum went out looking for Sarah. Meanwhile. Sarah and her friends were at Club Ice drinking. At about five am Sarah sneaked into her window and went to sleep. This went on for months until her mum saw an ad on tv saying ''IS YOUR TEEN A NIGHTMARE? Call this number'' Here mum phoned it. About a week later a woman phoned Kim [Their mum] and told her about it. Then Kim packed and went to a hotel. That day the woman on the phone [Jo] Knocked on the door.....

Chapter three is in 3 days.
SHEEPY
16-12-2005, 03:48 PM
Erm.. ....
beth
16-12-2005, 09:56 PM
I don't like it ;D

Okaii -edit- That was a little harsh, I'll explain why ;

1. Your sentences are too short for my liking.
2. I cannot work out what narrative you're using.
3. I cannot work out which tense you're using.
Adam$
16-12-2005, 10:02 PM
Erm.. ....
yes, and the point in that post was..?
mynameishelen!
16-12-2005, 10:11 PM
I don't like it ;D

Okaii -edit- That was a little harsh, I'll explain why ;

1. Your sentences are too short for my liking.
2. I cannot work out what narrative you're using.
3. I cannot work out which tense you're using.

Same. And go on a new line when people are talking! I'm easily confused :'(
Addie
16-12-2005, 10:14 PM
Same. And go on a new line when people are talking! I'm easily confused :'(

Okk. Sorry. Ill do that on Chapter 3.
YellowParasol
17-12-2005, 12:51 AM
Erm.. ....
Spamming to get your Post Count up i see...
Addie
21-12-2005, 05:15 PM
Ive started a Santa story so Ill continue this one after Christmas :D

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