Bef
15-12-2005, 10:45 PM
Im really really down tonight, i been ill all week with a nasty tummy bug, im just getting over it now. I was supposed to be going to meet my boyf tonight but couldnt get a lift or bus so been all night.
I dont even wanna be with my Boyf, i thought he would cheer me up but im just feeling rude for leading him on...
i dunno.
Anyway, let me get to whats got me down tonight,
some old friends of mine knocked at my door, my auntie awnsered it and asked me if i wanted to talk to them, i said no and she made some lame excuse. Anyway, that may not sound big but it kind of is. My old friends arent the nicest of people, i didn't used to be that nice a person either.
Anyway, i havn't spoken to them in like a year and all of a sudden their at my door.
It seems whenever i get a new boyf, or sumit, whenever im getting slightly happy some shadow of my past shows up.
Iv got a meeting with my quack tomorrow aswell which im kind of worried about, its hard. I feel so pathetic.
I just want to have a new life, be the real me. Im not the person i was and i dont want to be. But theres always memories, always shadows. I can't get rid of them how ever much i try, i don't know what to do.
I just want to forget the past but it won't leave me alone.
Anyway. Once again i am rambling </3
I dont even wanna be with my Boyf, i thought he would cheer me up but im just feeling rude for leading him on...
i dunno.
Anyway, let me get to whats got me down tonight,
some old friends of mine knocked at my door, my auntie awnsered it and asked me if i wanted to talk to them, i said no and she made some lame excuse. Anyway, that may not sound big but it kind of is. My old friends arent the nicest of people, i didn't used to be that nice a person either.
Anyway, i havn't spoken to them in like a year and all of a sudden their at my door.
It seems whenever i get a new boyf, or sumit, whenever im getting slightly happy some shadow of my past shows up.
Iv got a meeting with my quack tomorrow aswell which im kind of worried about, its hard. I feel so pathetic.
I just want to have a new life, be the real me. Im not the person i was and i dont want to be. But theres always memories, always shadows. I can't get rid of them how ever much i try, i don't know what to do.
I just want to forget the past but it won't leave me alone.
Anyway. Once again i am rambling </3