Explaination and help ;D

[beth]

I used to suffer from depression.. quite bad depression infact. Yes I used to self-harm.. and once I did up in hospital after an O/D. But recentely I've been getting better.. well in some respects.
My brain is like clouded, I don't feel bad.. but I don't feel good. I don't know what I want to do anymore. I feel trapped.
I'm one of the cleverest people in my year [No, I'm not looking for an ego boost] but I'm failing most of my classes.. I have no motivation and I'm slowly developing a social fear..
I don't know how to be myself anymore and I only trust one person.
I just need to find a way out and because I can't I get fustrated with people.. and myself.
Most people round here think i'm a rude arrogant person, and to be perfectly honest you couldn't be more right.. but that's not the point.
I'd like to apologise to anybody I've been intentionally mean to when they didn't deserve it.
This doesn't mean I'm your friends or whatever.. but I'm sorry for the way I treated you.
I just need to find a way out of this everlong circle.. I've done the counsellors and the pyschatrists but I'm stuck.
Does anybody have any other ideas?!

;; Bethie.

[Cypher-]

A way out, have you tried like a hobby or something? Its standard but it just might work, I know what you mean about feeling neither good nor bad, its like you are in a constant stupor correct? I used to control my temperment and my rudeness with music, always listening to it constantly even with friends as they talked about rubbish more often than not anyway.

Im not qualified to give personal advice which is why Im holding back, I wish you the best though and I hope you overcome your demons soon :)

[mynameishelen!]

I used to suffer from depression.. quite bad depression infact. Yes I used to self-harm.. and once I did up in hospital after an O/D. But recentely I've been getting better.. well in some respects.
My brain is like clouded, I don't feel bad.. but I don't feel good. I don't know what I want to do anymore. I feel trapped.
I'm one of the cleverest people in my year [No, I'm not looking for an ego boost] but I'm failing most of my classes.. I have no motivation and I'm slowly developing a social fear..
I don't know how to be myself anymore and I only trust one person.
I just need to find a way out and because I can't I get fustrated with people.. and myself.
Most people round here think i'm a rude arrogant person, and to be perfectly honest you couldn't be more right.. but that's not the point.
I'd like to apologise to anybody I've been intentionally mean to when they didn't deserve it.
This doesn't mean I'm your friends or whatever.. but I'm sorry for the way I treated you.
I just need to find a way out of this everlong circle.. I've done the counsellors and the pyschatrists but I'm stuck.
Does anybody have any other ideas?!

;; Bethie.

I know how that feels ^
I'm to lazy to work at anything.

Aw Bethums ;[
You're not arrogant, just honest, which is great ;)
I think you should find something that does motivate you, like Niel said, some sort of hobby or something :)

[Jordan3]

I used to suffer from depression.. quite bad depression infact. Yes I used to self-harm.. and once I did up in hospital after an O/D. But recentely I've been getting better.. well in some respects.
My brain is like clouded, I don't feel bad.. but I don't feel good. I don't know what I want to do anymore. I feel trapped.
I'm one of the cleverest people in my year [No, I'm not looking for an ego boost] but I'm failing most of my classes.. I have no motivation and I'm slowly developing a social fear..
I don't know how to be myself anymore and I only trust one person.
I just need to find a way out and because I can't I get fustrated with people.. and myself.
Most people round here think i'm a rude arrogant person, and to be perfectly honest you couldn't be more right.. but that's not the point.
I'd like to apologise to anybody I've been intentionally mean to when they didn't deserve it.
This doesn't mean I'm your friends or whatever.. but I'm sorry for the way I treated you.
I just need to find a way out of this everlong circle.. I've done the counsellors and the pyschatrists but I'm stuck.
Does anybody have any other ideas?!

;; Bethie.

Ask Simon? =] Erm Idk, just believe in yourself?

[ilovejordan]

Even me? :rolleyes:

Why dont you get a hobby like swimming or something and start talking to people your mates ALWAYS give you ego boosts and look out for you. I seriously dno where i'd be without mine. And like dont harm yourself or anythin again cos if you were meant to god would have made you born with no arms and legs so you wouldn't waste your time ;)

[BLuweesH]

You've kept things in too much now. I think I'd know that :P :) I think for the time being you should talk to the people you trust about this. After all you don't wanna have to blame others or let others meddle in your own business... :) I could keep going on with more, but my advice would be...long.

[PonyboyCurtis]

Ugh your so rude and arrogant.

[Largo]

Being honest isn't being rude, just telling the truth. Like if I think this person is rude I'd tell them that. I'm not going to lie, in result I just might dig my a bigger hole to discover I'm in.

[iluvben]

Mystic Meg is your awnser my friend ;)

[Rawr]

Sounds like you need to meet more people, like Neil said perhaps take up some sort of sporting hobbie? I think you shouldn't let your class grades and effort slip as it will better in the long run.

[Krusty]

That really helps well done curtis
Start a club ;D easy way to get more friends and if you have people around you. you feel more confident <3

[beth]

Ugh your so rude and arrogant.

Oh don't be hatin' <3
And thanks everyone ^_^;;

[Krusty]

Ignore ponyboy..
He's always got something bad to say about evryone else

[beth]

Ignore ponyboy..
He's always got something bad to say about evryone else

Lmao, he amuses me ^_^;; people like that do.