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Jasmin
01-02-2006, 05:51 PM
Eagle Eyes



As he walked, the old tree's shadows casted a gloomy dullness onto the path he was walking on. His name, yes it he had a peculiar name, something along the lines of Ernest or Eric, I cant quite remember, anyway, this chap, he was a strange lad, around the age of 34, he had never been loved, I couldn’t understand why, he was a reasonable lad with a good job and he wasn’t to bad looking. Or was he? That was the question I just had to find out.

I began to sort of, well I wouldn’t quite say stalk him, I just began to follow him a bit, he wore clothes from an old charity shop, weren’t to shabby I guess, he had pale skin, and scruffy blonde hair, I couldn’t quite catch the facial features, but I managed to get a glimpse of his deep brown eyes. They where beautiful eyes, narrow and full of dreams and hope, but his eyebrows were crooked and suggested to me that he was full of deep fear. I had to stop staring, or else he’d think I was weird but I couldn’t help myself, his face was so amazing, you could see his cheekbones and his lips where curved to perfection, his walk, was a slow stride, almost like he was following the cracks in the path. I followed him, until I had to turn another direction, I couldn’t stop thinking about him, My boss kept staring at me, because I kept staring into the distance, all dreamily, thinking about him, I wasn’t in love, just fascinated how no one else loved him. I was distracted by him, as if he was haunting me, I closed my eyes and all I would see was him, being tortured, I didn’t know why, I felt scared and without myself noticing I ran out of the office and back home. I felt myself breathing heavily. And my forehead was hot. My son came in, I was about to say hi, when suddenly I felt my eyes widen, my heart started to run riot in my chest, his face, my son, Daniels face, it.. It resembled the man so much; he had his blonde hair, and curvy lips and everything. And with that, I remember nothing but blackness.

I remember gaining consciousness at some hospital, no one was there, accept my son, and for some reason, he didn’t resemble the mans face anymore, it resembled the face I once had seen, the face of my son, I felt relieved. I was out of hospital that day, doctors told me to take it easy. Daniel’s father had left him and me when he was born, and I hadn’t seen him since. Daniel was 13. He was a good lad, and I trusted him. I didn’t think about Ernest or Eric or whatever his name was, for a good week or two.


Shall i continue writing more?

Sazzle
01-02-2006, 08:52 PM
yes i think you should, thats pretty good. good descriptive writing

Jasmin
09-02-2006, 05:58 PM
I got my strength back and continued to go to work, It wasn’t exactly a job I’d be pining to go to each day, but it bought the money in, and I met good friends there. One day, I was typing away on the computer, trying to update my boss’s website, when suddenly an email popped up, nervously, I looked around, making sure no one was watching, if my boss caught me reading my email, instead of doing work, he’d, he’d well, I don’t know what he’d do, I thought about the risks, but slowly I moved the mouse over the Open button, and I was horrified to read it.

Dear Carol

I know your watching me, just like the rest of them, Come, and join us at Club Haven, tonight at 7

From Eric

I felt my stomach churn, so many questions I asked myself, How did he know my name, how did he know I was watching him, who is “us” I kept repeating the questions over and over again in my head. When suddenly a hand touched my shoulder, I screamed at the top of my voice, but it was just Lindsay, my friend,
“You alright Carol?” she said
I remember nodding and telling her I was fine, but Carol didn’t seem convinced, she kept asking me what the email was about, but I just said nothing and tried to change the subject. Eventually she left and I breathed a sigh of relief, I went home early, I walked into the kitchen and found a note, I was too scared to read it at first.

should i carry on writing?

Jasmin
09-02-2006, 08:22 PM
Dear Mum,

I’ve gone round friends
Be back soon

Daniel


I read the note again and again, and I realized I had the whole evening to myself. But wait, I had that club to go to, I was always a coward, and going to this club would make me feel more… Well confidant. I wondered upstairs and sat on the bed, and thought should I go flirty, or casual, or maybe both. Yes both. I looked into the cupboard and took out a white blouse and a knee length skirt; I pulled on my tights and strapped my high heels buckle around my ankle. I popped on some mascara and deep red lipstick and I was ready to go. I wrote a little note to Daniel

Dear Daniel

Just gone out, I’ll be back before 11

Love mum x

Club Haven was only a short walk away, so I decided to walk. I bought my little handbag with my mobile in it. And I casually strolled down the street, I was just about to turn when suddenly a hand grabbed my shoulder, and without hesitation I screamed, he smacked me and dragged me to an alleyway, I let him push me up against a wall, and I just shivered in fear as he felt his way up my legs and unbuttoned my cream white blouse, he would of gone further if a voice hadn’t shouted stop at the front of an alleyway. It was Lindsay, she had followed me. I collapsed in a heap on the floor, I felt so dirty so ashamed, why hadn’t I stopped him myself, Lindsay helped me up, and walked me home she made me a coffee and I started to cry. I sobbed in her arms. I needed to know who it was; Lindsay shook her haid and sighed,
“It’s not your fault hun,” she assured me
I felt lucky to have her as a friend. I stumbled a bit, but I managed to heave myself up the stairs, I looked into the mirror. My mascara running, my lipstick smudged, my hair a right tip. I brushed it and wiped of the make up, and I got dressed in my pajamas. I breathed heavily and decided I’d never go to a nightclub again. Just then, Daniel walked in through the door, I stood on the stairs, and he glanced at me.
“You’ve been crying haven’t you mum?” he asked
I shook my head and snuffled. Daniel looked at Lindsay, and I managed to get him to believe we where watching a sad film, thankfully Lindsay went along with it. Daniel was still suspicious but he let it go.

chilloutrich (Forum Moderator) - Please do not double post.

ChloeDust
09-02-2006, 08:30 PM
Thats good jaz, carry on ;D <3

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