Ruby.

[Addie]

Ruby is a normal eleven year old. She loves to draw and sit and watch TV. Her little brother Declyn isn't bad. He's six and is well behaved but hey, Boys will be boys! Ruby's best friend is Emmy. But when Ruby's mum and dad divorce, nothing is the same...

Chapter One-

Ruby got up and looked at the time. ''Only seven.'' She mumbled whilst rubbing her eyes. So she got up and went downstairs. Her little brother Declyn was lying on the sofa sleeping with his blue blanket over him. Ruby's mum came downstairs.
''Ruby, What are you doing up so early? I was just going shopping.'' She said.
''I just got up.'' Ruby replied.
''Well, Do you want to come shopping for Declyn's birthday?'' She asked.
''Yeah ok. I'll just get dressed.'' Ruby said running upstairs.
She put on her 3 quarter legnth trousers, a white t-shirt and her pink converse. She brushed her long brown hair and put a clip in it. Ruby ran downstairs and Declyn was awake.
''Declyn is going to Gran's today.'' Ruby's mum Joan said.
''Ok.'' Ruby said.
So Joan took Declyn to Grandma Elizabeth's house and took Ruby to Toys 'R' Us. Ruby picked out an train set costing £150. Since her dad worked there when Joan was in a long que with the presents Ruby said she was going to look for John her dad. She walked to the back and nearly opened the door when she saw it.

To be continued... Comment please ;)

[Noble]

"when she saw it.. a leaf."

it's boring, add more drama.

[Crono]

"when she saw it.. a leaf."

it's boring, add more drama.

It is only the first chapter..


A bit short for a whole chapter.. maybe make it a bit longer?

Off to a good start, though.

[Addie]

It is only the first chapter..


A bit short for a whole chapter.. maybe make it a bit longer?

Off to a good start, though.

Lol I go on and on after first chapter. I always make Chapter 1 short.

And Vince or w/e wait and see what happens!

[Noble]

Make her see a leaf, then make her pass out and die.

[Addie]

Make her see a leaf, then make her pass out and die.

No. Thats noobish:l

[Noble]

No. Thats noobish:l

It's called adding enthuasiasm, I'd rather watch a still image, waiting for it to move than reading this crap story. <3

[Wayne]

It's called adding enthuasiasm, I'd rather watch a still image, waiting for it to move than reading this crap story. <3

.. That's harsh..

I find the story pretty good to say it's the first chapter. Like she's gonna die when she sees a leaf? If she dies when she sees a leaf, that's the end of the story..

[Addie]

Chapter Two-

No. It couldn't be. But it was. It was her dad. Her dad and a blonde woman. Ruby ran down to her mum. She cried in onto her mum.
''What is it Rubs?'' Asked her mum.
''Dddaadd waas kkissing a woman.'' Ruby cried quietly.
''Aw hunny. It probarly wasn't your dad.'' Joan comforted her.
''But it was!'' Ruby said.
Joan payed for the stuff. Ruby told her to follow her. They arrived at the backdoor. And it was her dad...
''Don't worry hunny. Me you and Declyn will be fine.'' Joan said with a tear in her eye.
They drove to Gran's. As they got in Ruby went upstairs to find Declyn. Joan told Gran everything.

[Addie]

Sorry accidently pressed enter. I'll continue it here and Vince. Why post then?

Chapter Two-

No. It couldn't be. But it was. It was her dad. Her dad and a blonde woman. Ruby ran down to her mum. She cried in onto her mum.
''What is it Rubs?'' Asked her mum.
''Dddaadd waas kkissing a woman.'' Ruby cried quietly.
''Aw hunny. It probarly wasn't your dad.'' Joan comforted her.
''But it was!'' Ruby said.
Joan payed for the stuff. Ruby told her to follow her. They arrived at the backdoor. And it was her dad...
''Don't worry hunny. Me you and Declyn will be fine.'' Joan said with a tear in her eye.
They drove to Gran's. As they got in Ruby went upstairs to find Declyn. Joan told Gran everything.
''Come on kids!'' Joan yelled.
Ruby and Declyn came down the stairs.
Joan took Declyn's hand and they went into the car. They drove home in silence.

That night when John came home Joan was sitting in the living room.
''Hello hunny.'' John said.
Ruby heard him come in and took Declyn into her room. She knew what was going to happen.
''What did you do today?'' Joan asked
''Just getting the new toys in.'' John said,
''Anything else?'' she asked.
''Nope.'' he said.
''Oh so, Who was that blonde girl you were kissing?'' Joan asked standing up.
''What blonde girl?'' he asked.
''THE GIRL RUBY SAW YOU KISSING IN THE STORAGE ROOM!'' Joan yelled.
''Well, Our marriage is falling apart.And I think we should get a divorce.'' he said.
''Whats happening Ruby?'' Declyn asked Ruby.
''Nothing. Declyn you need to stay here.'' Ruby said walking out of her room. She went down the stairs and stood at the living room door.
''I THINK ITS BEST!'' John yelled.
''DECLYN IS SEVEN TOMMOROW! YOUR JUST WALKING OUT? SOME FATHER YOU ARE!'' Joan yelled.
Tears streamed down Ruby's face. Declyn came beside her. She lifted him up and said ''So this is whats been happening?''
''Ruby!'' John said going near her and Declyn.
''No! Go away. Your not my dad anymore.'' She said crying.
''What? Thats dad Ruby.'' Declyn said.
''No hes not mine anymore!'' She said.
''I think you'd better leave John.'' Joan said.
''I'll get my stuff later.'' He said leaving.

This is a bit short but I don't know what else to write. But chapter three later<3




chilloutrich (Forum Moderator) - Please do not triple post.

[Embean]

I always love your stories. They're really interesting to read.
More please<3

[Addie]

I always love your stories. They're really interesting to read.
More please<3

Lol same with you. I'll do more later.

[Embean]

Lol same with you. I'll do more later.
Lol thanks, and okay.

[Embean]

Lol same with you. I'll do more later.
Lol thanks, and okay.

[Addie]

Chapter Three-

The next week was dreadful. Even though Emmy came around.
''Its for the best Rubbs.'' She said whilst reading Ruby's magazines.
''No its not!'' Ruby said.
''It is. Your parents were un-happy.'' Emmy said.
''I don't care.'' Ruby said.
''Well, You'll be fine. Anyway I have to go. My aunty is comming from California.'' Emmy said. ''Bye.''
''Bye!'' Ruby sighed.
Nothing was the same. Declyn came running through.
''What?'' She asked.
''Mum wants you!'' He said.
''Ok.'' Ruby sighed.
She went downstairs. Joan was sitting in the living room.
''Ruby, Sit down.'' She said.
''What is it?'' Ruby asked.
''Your dad's girlfriend Ashley is pregnant. And they're engaged.'' She said calmy.
Ruby's mouth dropped open. ''ARE YOU SERIOUS!?''
''Hun! Its not our problem. But your dad wants you to think of some names.'' She said.
''WHAT ABOUT... BACKSTABBER OR IHATEYOU! OR WHAT ABOUT STAYAWAY FOR THE STUPID BABY!'' Ruby yelled running into her room.
She lay on her bed and cried into her pillow. Joan came up.
''Declyn go and play with your toys.'' Joan said.
''Wwheen arre they getting married?'' Ruby cried.
''December 6th.'' Joan said.
''MY BIRTHDAY? NO IM NOT GOING!'' Ruby said.
''And tommorow they're comming round for Declyn's birthday.'' She said.
''WELL I WON'T BE HERE!'' Ruby said. ''PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE.''
Joan went out and closed her door.
''HOW CAN THEY BE GETTING MARRIED. AND ON MY BIRTHDAY!'' Ruby asked herself.

The next day was Declyn's birthday. November 3rd. Ruby gave him his present. He opened it and hugged Ruby. ''WOW I WANTED THIS!''
Knock-Knock.
''GOODBYE!'' Ruby said going upstairs.
Joan answered the door. ''Hello.''
''Hello.'' Ashley said.
''Come in, Come in.'' Joan said.
She let them into the living room.
''Happy birthday Declyn.'' Ashley said handing him a present.
''Here you go aswell.'' John said handing him a present.
''WOW! AMAZING! A GAMEBOY ADVANCE SP AND GAMES!'' Declyn said hugging them.
''So wheres Ruby?'' John asked.
''Going out.'' Ruby interupted comming downstairs.
''Hey there Rubs,'' John said.
''Don't call me that!'' Ruby said. ''Goodbye I'm going to Emmy's.''
''She seems nice.'' Ashley said.
''Don't get your hopes up.'' Joan said. ''So what do you want to eat?''
''Anything.'' Ashley said.

Please comment.

[mike475]

Oh I so do hate you Habbox some times, why is she banned for!!! I loved that story!

[Addie]

Oh I so do hate you Habbox some times, why is she banned for!!! I loved that story!

Aww thanks. I'll write more laters :)

[Iggy]

who/wht is ruby

[Addie]

who/wht is ruby

Read It ??

[FlyingJesus]

You've got talent, but I think you need to slow it down a bit. Add some more description, and some tension. The line

''Well, Our marriage is falling apart.And I think we should get a divorce.'' he said.

Just seemed a bit nothing-y to me, too laid-back for someone who's just been caught cheating on his wife. Also, I don't get why the mother seems so inviting to this new girlfriend. If I was married and my wife left me for someone else, I certainly wouldn't be all smiles, asking if they want anything to eat.

Back to the description.. you didn't even mention what the present Ruby gave her brother was. Again, just slow down, add some depth, let things wallow for a while. I can see you have some brilliant ideas, but I'd suggest just writing them down and filling in the spaces rather than rushing through, as that's how it comes across.

[Addie]

K thanks. Im not continuing because this is old, I'll start a new one soon though.

[mike475]

How come you got unbanned Addie?

[kasi]

lol write more. :)

december 6th is my birthday also haha.

[Addie]

Oh yea kaye :p. I'll write some more later<3

[Addie]

Chapter 4-

When Ruby came in at seven she was a mess.
''RUBY! What happened!'' Joan paniced.
''Fight,'' Ruby mumbled going upstairs dragging her bag.
''With who!?''
''Girl, Sammy-Jane.'' Ruby sighed slamming her door.
Ashley and John were in the living room.
Declyn was upstairs playing with his new train set.
''Well, we better go.'' John said helping Ashley up.
''OK. Bye now.'' Joan said letting them out.
She went up to Ruby's room. She went inside. Ruby's face was filled with tears.
''LEAVE ME ALONE!'' Ruby cried.
''Hunny, I know your taking this hard but you shouldn't be fighting.'' Joan said.
''I DON'T CARE ABOUT THAT! MY DAD IS HAVING ANOTHER GIRL'S KID. AND ITS WRONG! AND I WON'T GO TO THE WEDDING, NOR THE HOSPITAL!'' Ruby screamed.
''I'll leave you alone for a while. But you are going.'' Joan said going out.
Ruby flung a teddy at the door. She just cried herself to sleep.

One month and three days later......

''RUBY! GET UP! GET UP!'' Joan yelled.
Ruby mumbled no.
''YOUNG LADY! IT IS YOUR FATHERS WEDDING!''
''AND MY BIRTHDAY THANK YOU VERY MUCH!'' Ruby yelled sitting up.
Joan walked in. ''Happy birthday hunny. We need to hurry though.''
''Go out then!'' Ruby said.
When Joan went out Ruby got dressed, Jeans, Tshirt, Pink trainers, make-up. Not really weddingish but OK.
Ruby went downstairs.
Alot of presents were on the table. Ruby looked through them.
''Oh really!?'' Ruby thought to herself as she saw one from Ashley. As Ruby opened it Declyn marched down.
''Happpyyyy Birthdayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!'' He said longly,
''Declyn, Get dressed.'' Ruby said.
He went back upstairs.
Ruby opened it. ''Pffft.'' A clock? Ruby threw it onto the ground.
Joan came through from the kitchen. ''Ruby Brooke Johnson! Pick that up right now.''
''Nah. I don't classify a clock as a birthday gift mum!''
Joan picked it up and went to get Declyn. Ruby opened one from Emmy. Walkie talkies. Sweeeet. Only one. So Emmy must have the other one. Ruby got her bag and switched it on. ''Emmy?'' she whispered.
''Ruby?''
''Yea, Ok I need out of this wedding. So like, meet me at the church.''

[Polly-alyssa]

I think it will be a gd story

[Addie]

Chapter 5-

They arrived at the wedding. Ruby was forced to get the dress on. As she made her way to the changing room she was pulled into the bushes.
''What in the mother of god?'' Ruby said.
''Its me!'' the person whispered.
''Emmy? Oh thank god your here.''
''Yea, Whats the problem?''
''I don't want to go to the wedding. So I need your help.''
''Just hide into here.''
''Nah, Too risky. But follow me, and keep low.''
They went into the clock tower. Not too high. But they locked the door. Emmy brought some snacks and drinks. Ruby took a packet of Salt 'N' Vinegar crisps.
About an hour later the clock went ''DING, DONG'' It was totally loud!
''Oh my god! Too loud!'' Ruby shouted.
''I KNOW!'' Emmy shouted back.
The wedding was beggining.
''RUBY!'' Ruby heard her mum yell.
Joan went up to John. She said that Ruby had left.
The organ started playing. Too late. Ruby had great plans. Everything went fine until..... Ruby was leaning on the clock (which had big holes between the numbers) and she kind of fell...
Right onto the ground. Probarly uncaunsious. Joan rushed over to her. Emmy ran down.
''Emmy! Why are you here?'' Joan asked.
''Long story.'' Emmy replied.
The ceromony had finished in time, John rushed over.
''Ruby! Wake up!'' He said.
Nothing.
''JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHN!!!!!!!!!'' Ashley yelled.
John rushed over and said ''Did you miss the bathroom?''
''NO YOU IDIOT! MY WATERS BROKE!'' Ashley said.
''OH MY GOD!'' John said picking her up.
Joan picked up Ruby. She put Ruby in the back of her car and drove to the hospital.
John followed with Ashley in labour.
At the hospital Ashley went into the delivery room with John and Ruby went into a room aswell of her uncaunsiousness.



Chapter 6 is when yall comment.

[infatuation]

This is so goood.
I cant wait to read the next chapter

[Neversoft]

Pretty good, Addie. ;)

[Addie]

Thanks. I'll do more tommorow_x