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Embean
07-02-2006, 08:21 PM
The cold breeze tickled her cheeks while silent rain drops fell onto her face. She tucked her hands up inside her sleeves, and carried on walking through the woods. Maybe she wouldn’t feel so scared if she’d done what her parents had told her to do the morning before school. ‘Don’t walk home by yourself, it’s winter and I don’t want you walking through the woods with wolves about.’
The sentence just passed her mind as she walked out of the door by herself. Now she was cold, damp, and lost. The dark was beginning to fall in the sky, and she could hear herself breathing heavily.
She stopped, and looked over to a bush that russled, she knew the wind was blowing quite hard, but this was a different kind of movement in the bush. She glanced on forward, seeing just miles of darkness, and continued on walking, still frightened about the whole scene. Then, she heard a growling noise behind her. She turned around, seeing nothing, looking forward and by her side again, nothing. She carried on walking, slowly, quiet. Still hearing the growling noise. She looked to her right-side, and there we a lurking, dark shadow. She trembling, biting her lip. Taking a few steps forward, everytime she’d walk forward, the shadow would follow her too, each time moving closer towards the girl.
Her heart was pounding, which made the two necklaces on her chest tinkle against each other. The shadow was now clearly visible around its face now, which its eyes widened, staring at the shining necklaces. The girl started running, screaming with the animal chasing after her.
The next morning, the parents realised she hadn’t come home all night, they then contacted the police, which then the police searched the woods for the young girl.
They did not find the young girl, but her two necklaces, lying on the ground. Where she had been that night, hiding from the lurking shadow.

The end.
Please rate =D

FlyingJesus
08-02-2006, 12:42 AM
I can see you're a good writer, and the beginning is fantastic with just the right amount of description for a short story, but it seems to end all too quickly, sort of campfire ghost story style. I personally wouldn't know how to round it off better, but it just seemed a bit chopped. Otherwise a well written short story, 8.5/10 ^_^

Embean
08-02-2006, 08:06 PM
I can see you're a good writer, and the beginning is fantastic with just the right amount of description for a short story, but it seems to end all too quickly, sort of campfire ghost story style. I personally wouldn't know how to round it off better, but it just seemed a bit chopped. Otherwise a well written short story, 8.5/10 ^_^
Lmao thanks for the comment, and I appreciate the rating.

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