A Thousand Words [Poem]

[TheUnknownPoet]

A Thousand Words Of Hope

Dear God are you with me now?
Should i try to understand?
Should i stand here and shrug it off?
Or search for distant lands?

Dear luck, are you still there?
Or have you disappeared for life?
Can you give me one more lucky chance?
And make my love, my wife?

If i could write you a letter
What would the contents be?
Would i write about my feelings?
Or would i post it back to me?

If i had the chance to tell you
Would i tell you how i feel?
Would i risk the chance of losing you?
Or break through my seel?

Dear mercy, will you hear my call?
If i fall will you soften the pain?
and keep me as i am right now?
so i could try again

Dear sorrow are you listening?
Please try to realise
Please will you stay away from me?
Because, i dont want to hear lies

If i could write you a letter
What would the contents be?
Would i write about my feelings?
Or would i post it back to me?

If i had the chance to tell you
Would i tell you how i feel?
Would i risk the chance of losing you?
Or would i break through my seel?

Dear lover, i will tell you this once
I pray thatll you wont decline
i have to tell you, that i love you
And i want you to be mine.


whatya think?

[Colourful™]

Cool poem! Well done, i'll rep. you when I can.

[TheUnknownPoet]

=] thankyou x

[H]

Well done +rep

[Webhamster]

Thats well done, + rep if I can, if not I'll just say well done. :)

[Re101]

Fantastic poem !

[TheUnknownPoet]

Why thankyou ^^ i just got a poetry section set up in the articles story section =]

[Polly-alyssa]

Ur such a gd poet like +rep its fantastic

[jinxii]

Check your punctuation and grammar. Remember to capitalise 'I' the personal pronoun. It looks unprofessional without it. Also, as the abstract nouns such as 'mercy' and 'luck' are personified here, I think it would be cool if they were treated like proper nouns and also capitalised, except the word 'lover' in the last stanza. Also bear in mind there would probably be a comma between 'Dear Mercy (for example)' and 'are you listening?'

Although syntactically flawed, the lexis and literary features are very good. I look forward to reading more.

[GJay]

aww sweet poem matey.

[Nightrose]

Wonderful amazing poem loved it

[Juicette]

Nice poem

[Juicette]

I know its weird counting them..
But its not a thousand word poem..
Its about 250 words.. =\

[Badgez]

Really nice poem :)

[Juicette]

It's nice.
But not 1000 words.

[-Sweex]

fantastic poem!!! + rep if i can but if i cant it will does be well done !

[Juicette]

I can't believe you guys don't even know.
It's not 1000.
COUNT IT