An Interview with Fred Simmons

[Crazism]

I managed to get an interview will Fred Simmons today exclusively on MSN. Fred Simmons is the founder and
owner of "Chainsaw Inslaughterated", a slaughterhouse situated in Stoke. Now, read on.

Crazism says:
Hello Mr. Simmons.
Fred Simmons says:
Who the hell are you?
Crazism says:
I'm the interviewer. There was a small link on your website, www.stabkillstabdiedie.co.uk (website no longer available) to your email address.
Fred Simmons says:
Oh right. Well I think I better shed some light on that. Ted, the new guy, found out my email and put it on there, along with "SEND ME NUDE PICS OF YOURSELF".
Crazism says:
Yes, I noticed that too.
Fred Simmons says:
So will you?
Crazism says:
No. Now let's begin the interview.
Crazism says:
Hello?
Fred Simmons says:
What?
Crazism says:
Are we doing this interview?
Fred Simmons says:
If you send me nude pics of yourself I will.
Crazism says:
Oh alright.
Crazism says:
You got the email yet?
Fred Simmons says:
Yes. Wow, you look a lot like Brad Pitt.
Crazism says:
I get that often. Moving on.
Fred Simmons says:
How come it says bradpitt.com at the bottom of these pictures?
Crazism says:
Ummm... errr... go to hell. But before you do, I'm going to ask you a few questions.
Fred Simmons says:
Okay then.
Crazism says:
What's the process of slaughtering your innocent animals? Do you play sweet music while you murder them?
Fred Simmons says:
I often listen to the Spice Girls during the killing process.
Crazism says:
Interesting. I suppose you don't watch the killings take place.
Fred Simmons says:
I do.
Crazism says:
Why?
Fred Simmons says:
It turns me on.
Fred Simmons says:
You there?
Crazism says:
Ummm... no.
Fred Simmons says:
Damn. I was really getting into that interview. My trousers were around my ankles already.