8Marcus8
05-02-2005, 06:27 PM
People who believe in santa and do not believe in humping of any sort are asked to look away. . . . .now!
Wrriten By: Michael
When: January 31st 05
Written To: The children of the world
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Children Of The Stinkin World,
First of all i bet your wondering about the name. Well i decided that deep dark secrets cant be locked up for over 2000 years can they? [And anyway i'm sick of being called Santy, Snt Nick and all that rubbish]! My real name is Michael and i am that old frumpy man who lives up your street, works in the corner shop and peers through your bedroom window every once in a while.
Lets get some things sorted. Some people think i am a really kind man. But i aint i just love children. Thats why i let them stay in my ranch called neverl- i mean my workshop. I says to this one kid if you love me you will get in my bed and despite all those accusations i did not sleep with that boy!
Next, why are kids these days so damn greedy! I aint even allowed to giv coal to the fatty ones anymore or i will get sued! 3 years ago it was all pokemon this pokemon that, the year next it was all 'i want a computer', the next it was get me a PS2 or i will scream and this year its 'giv me a dam ipod or i will graffiti ur sled'. And FYI i am not pleased when i came to your house and looked in your closet and saw all the pokemon junk stashed at the back. And i wasnt stealing anything from your closets :eusa_shif i was um . . . looking for carrots for rudolf :eusa_ange
Thirdly, i am so stressed out these days! I have to go around 100's of countries and none of you leave me some rum or mince pies on the table anymore let alone a mouldy packet of bourbons. A little thought wood be nice, i got you all these gifts and thats how u repay me. Now i have to go around trying to find morsels of food on your discarded microwave meal packages or take a bite out of a cork place mat. I had a meeting with the easter bunny, cupid, count drac, the snowman and all of your other special holiday friends and they also think that your behaviour is totally unacceptable :eusa_naug And we also agreed that on cupids stag night we are not all wearing dypers and wings. . .
So there. I have made all u little kiddies cry, does it look like i care? I aint buying any of you presents. The elves will also be out of work so i am thinking of giving them jobs at the local marks and spencer store. I hope thats ok with you, sometimes they try and **** your leg though so be careful.
From
Michael Jackson AKA Santa
Edited By Jack20012002: Do not be rude (post swear words) and do not post anything relating to a sexual nature.
Wrriten By: Michael
When: January 31st 05
Written To: The children of the world
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Children Of The Stinkin World,
First of all i bet your wondering about the name. Well i decided that deep dark secrets cant be locked up for over 2000 years can they? [And anyway i'm sick of being called Santy, Snt Nick and all that rubbish]! My real name is Michael and i am that old frumpy man who lives up your street, works in the corner shop and peers through your bedroom window every once in a while.
Lets get some things sorted. Some people think i am a really kind man. But i aint i just love children. Thats why i let them stay in my ranch called neverl- i mean my workshop. I says to this one kid if you love me you will get in my bed and despite all those accusations i did not sleep with that boy!
Next, why are kids these days so damn greedy! I aint even allowed to giv coal to the fatty ones anymore or i will get sued! 3 years ago it was all pokemon this pokemon that, the year next it was all 'i want a computer', the next it was get me a PS2 or i will scream and this year its 'giv me a dam ipod or i will graffiti ur sled'. And FYI i am not pleased when i came to your house and looked in your closet and saw all the pokemon junk stashed at the back. And i wasnt stealing anything from your closets :eusa_shif i was um . . . looking for carrots for rudolf :eusa_ange
Thirdly, i am so stressed out these days! I have to go around 100's of countries and none of you leave me some rum or mince pies on the table anymore let alone a mouldy packet of bourbons. A little thought wood be nice, i got you all these gifts and thats how u repay me. Now i have to go around trying to find morsels of food on your discarded microwave meal packages or take a bite out of a cork place mat. I had a meeting with the easter bunny, cupid, count drac, the snowman and all of your other special holiday friends and they also think that your behaviour is totally unacceptable :eusa_naug And we also agreed that on cupids stag night we are not all wearing dypers and wings. . .
So there. I have made all u little kiddies cry, does it look like i care? I aint buying any of you presents. The elves will also be out of work so i am thinking of giving them jobs at the local marks and spencer store. I hope thats ok with you, sometimes they try and **** your leg though so be careful.
From
Michael Jackson AKA Santa
Edited By Jack20012002: Do not be rude (post swear words) and do not post anything relating to a sexual nature.