The Raven

[scubadiva]

The full moon shines through the dusty windows, icy fingers grasping at darkness. A raven flies toward the old deserted mansion, perching on the rotting window ledge, on the second floor. Its head turns and peers through the thick dust of the window. The room is dark, but not pitch black. Through squinting eyes, a small, decaying room, wallpaper peeling from the walls, and cracked wooden floorboards, is revealed. There is an eerie feel about the room, as if something mysterious and sinister had happened there. There is only one item in the room, a small, threadbare doll, spread-eagled upon the floor. An eye is missing from the doll, the stuffing pulled from the stomach, like intestines from a human. Ants and spiders crawl over the doll, using it in a haven in the dankness of the room. Then suddenly, a creak, and a dark, hooded figure, tall and thin, dressed all in black, walks slowly into the room. The figure seems to hover as it walks, swaying disturbingly from side to side. A dark shadow engulfs the face, a cloud of mystery over the newcomer. The hood is removed with long, frail, white, blood covered fingers, to unveil something much more unnerving. A bald head, white as paper, infested with scars, like something from a nightmare. Red eyes, wide and evil, flick up and stare through the window, at the raven. Sensing danger, it spreads its wings, kicks off, and swoops into the darkness of the cold winter night.

[Tiuhdur]

its erm strange i liike creepy + sad stuff and it left me in suspence who was this hooded figure 9/10

[scubadiva]

That's the point :)

[Tiuhdur]

yup i love it in my statement i meant i want you to right more have you taken this from "the raven" poem above my chamber door lol ?

[scubadiva]

Oh my gosh, I was thinking that when I was writing it. I originally intended to write a scary story, and I wanted to include it from the point of view of an animal. I decided to use a bird, so I thought, what bird should I use? Not pidgeon, not robin, but I decided on raven. And it made me think of that poem, 'Above my chamber door' That poem is quite scary for some odd reason isn't it? :P

[Tiuhdur]

yes its mysterious to say the least but it all depends the way you say it to yourself i suppose if you said it to yourself in a cheerly rythem then it isnt scary lol

[scubadiva]

The narrative in The Simpson's Treehouse of Horror is great, but the funny way they put it across visually ruins it :rolleyes:

[Tiuhdur]

ye it does a bit but as its a childs programme i suppose it had to be funny

[Notex]

WOW WOW WOW Dude i wanna hear more!!! + REP

[scubadiva]

Part 2

The figure turns, with cold, merciless eyes, staring into darkness, quickly disregarding the bird in the window. It takes a deep inhale of dusty air, then notices the old doll, laying helplessly on the floor. Slowly, the figure stoops down, grasping the doll in an un-naturally long fingered hand. The fingernails are jagged and bleeding, with a yellowish shade. An owl, perched on the old willow tree in the mansion’s ground, hoots loudly to the night. A grandfather clock in another room of the mansion softly chimes; midnight has arrived. As though a signal, the figure turns, a black cloak flapping with it, casting an icy breeze in the dormant room, and marches out of the room, the doll still firmly clutched in the mystery figure’s hands.

[Test:Tube:Baby]

i cant be bothered to read it
but it looks good

9/10 probably

[Tiuhdur]

number 2 is breathtaking +rep

[Test:Tube:Baby]

Part 2
.....and marches out of the room, Scuba's barbie doll still firmly clutched in the mystery figure’s hands.

aaw scuba loves his dolly

[scubadiva]

aaw scuba loves his dolly

:'( I thought we were friends :P

[Notex]

That was beautiful, the personification, the alliterations, wowowowowowowow more pls.. >=)