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PigsNose
10-01-2007, 08:57 PM
My mind is blank
But when my thoughts trail off
To her...
When I hear her voice
And see her face
My heart starts thumping
And then it stops
When I just know
She doesn’t love me back
And all I can do is either
Cry
Or
Be brave

This is the first draft, tell me what you think, thanks :)

Browney
10-01-2007, 09:16 PM
Good, confused at the use of "her" yet you are a girl. Minor detail.

Actually very nice. My favourite poem of yours yet.

PigsNose
10-01-2007, 09:32 PM
Thanks and I thought her sounded better than him.
:)

YoManGo!
10-01-2007, 09:51 PM
For a depressing one it was good.
But I don't like anything depressing.
Posi or nothing.

PigsNose
11-01-2007, 07:19 PM
Thanks :)

Browney
11-01-2007, 08:10 PM
Sorry about an earlier comment saying "I actually like it." It's just i'm quite used to moaning at you for "depressing poems."

PigsNose
12-01-2007, 05:04 PM
Uh thanks..
I think
:)

Browney
12-01-2007, 05:32 PM
It's a compliment.

PigsNose
12-01-2007, 05:53 PM
Oooh okay :)
How nice you are
;D
I have got another non-depressing poem y'know.

DiscoPat
28-01-2007, 06:05 PM
thats a nice one

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