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Intellect
13-01-2007, 09:57 AM
People who read this originally enjoyed it. So I thought I'd share it with you guys. Just a quick note, though I have replaced the casual swearing in it, It does contain drug manner and sexual refrences. Though I beleive we're all mature enough about them.


Going Home With A Stranger

You’re lying in bed. The ceiling above you is staring back as you dwell over your thoughts of the holidays to this point. So far… they’ve been crap. The last couple of days you’ve been looking forward to a party, your best friends… damn it’s been a while since you’ve gotten laid, this seems almost the perfect opportunity.

You roll over, the roof no longer contains your interest and you now start staring at a bottle of Bacardi over on your shelf. You want to drink it now, but you must leave it otherwise your going to be the only sober person at the party.

The minutes pass, they seem longer than they ever have before, you try to close your eyes and they just open again… at this point you realize your not going to get back to sleep and you sit up. The second your blanket falls off your chest you get hit with a rush of cold, you walk to your closet and get dressed, though it feels weird doing so… seeing how its 2:30am.

Force of habit makes you sneak upstairs towards your living room, but then you realize your parents have gone to see relatives inter-state for a couple of weeks. It’s good to get a break from them, being the only child they pay far to much attention to you anyway, it can get annoying. You walk around your house looking for something to do, you then look outside. You know nobody is going to see you, their all probably asleep. You walk back downstairs into your room, open your closet and unfold a shirt you haven’t worn in years, underneath you find a small stash, you grab a single joint and walk outside.

You start walking down your street, its cold but intriguing. The moon is at a half, slowly reflecting rays towards the road your walking down slowly. Each lamppost sparking the street into a dim light with a small florescent tint. You pull out your lighter and spark up. Straight from the first puff you feel so much warmer, and soon you start to relax… things start to slow down, everything is so much more calm.

Your about half way through the joint before you hear a sound, a vague sound from afar. You quickly put the joint under your jacket and look around.

“Who’s that?” you call out, and then you hear footsteps.

You turn around to see behind you the whole time, was a girl. Smiling… You can barely see her due to the small essence of light following her. Her hair is wavy and dark; her eyes though barely visible are gleaming at you, almost as if she’s hungry. You’re enticed by this unexpected exotic and begin a conversation.

“Hello” you say
“Hello” she replies

It goes quite for a couple of seconds, your about to ask her name before she cuts in.

“What you got there?” She said

Crap, you think. She’s caught me. She can probably smell it, god damnit what if she knows who I am… what if she knows who my parents are?

“You just going to stand there or offer me some” she cuts in looking down at where you're trying to hide your weed. You look at her for a second confused.

"Sure" You reply quickly after breaking from a trance.

You hand her the joint, it still has quite a bit left. She takes it from you and takes a hit, holds it for a while and then exhales slowly before going back again. You say your name and ask of hers.

“I’m Nicole” she replies “I haven’t seen you around here”
“That’s odd, I’ve lived here for a bit” you reply
“Is that so…?” she enquires before taking another hit from the joint.

Once again things go quiet; you become mystified by this girl. Who is she? Why haven’t I seen her before?... and why the hell is she taking all my weed?

“Here” she says handing you what’s left of the joint, its almost as if she read your mind
“Thanks” you say taking the weed and you take a hit, its almost gone.
“You don’t talk much do you” she says looking at you puzzled
“Well I could say the same about you” you reply
“You’d think that because you don’t know me” she says, taking a step towards you

The last of your weed is gone, you drop the butt on the floor and crush it, she looks down and then back up at you. You find it awfully tedious, and try to look away… but she continues to stare. You look at her, she’s gotten quite close to you, your barely standing a foot apart… what is she doing? you think.

“I gotta go” you say and you attempt to dart off but you feel her grab your arm
“Don’t go, stay with me” she says looking at you

What the hell is she doing? She’s still looking at you, as if she’s trying to break you down mentally. This chick might be crazy, you decide to stay still, and you stare at her… again. After about a minute she breaks the silence.

“Come back to my place” she says
"Huh?" you reply, to shocked to think what’s going on… this is going fast.

Before you say anything else she starts to walk, still holding your arm, pulling you along with her. Her hands are soft though she walks quite fast. After about 30 seconds you break the silence…

“Where do you live?”
“Just over there” she says pointing towards a house, its quite large, positioned right next to a small graffiti playground.

A few minutes pass and your at her front door, she lets go and turns around to you. She then moves closer, her lips are only a couple of inches from yours.

“Come in” she says and she draws back and walks towards the house.

Woah, looks like I’m getting laid before the party you think to yourself, and you follow her in. Her house is dark, and very very cold. You shiver when she closes the door, its almost as if it’s a freezer.

“What about your parents?” you say as she grabs your shoulders and pulls you towards her.

“Out, for the weekend. Don’t worry” she says and she falls onto a nearby sofa pulling you down on top of her.

She pulls you by your shirt towards her and you kiss her, the second your lips touch hers you smell and taste a very strong vodka presence. Is this girl drunk? Sure does seem like it. You don’t care though, you continue to kiss her but after a couple of seconds, she slides from underneath you and you fall onto the couch.

“Come on” she says, and you follow her once again along a corridor… towards a small room. You cant see a thing, and its colder than before… even under your jacket. She pushes you backwards and you land on a bed. You then feel her climb on top of you.

“Let me show you the pleasures of going home with a stranger” she says as she leans forward to you, you close your eyes awaiting her lips again… but they don’t touch. You scream, she giggles.

A pain, a pain like none other is emitted from your chest, you clutch it and yelp while this Nicole girl starts to moan. You put your hand to where the pain is coming from and you feel metal, a knife.

“JESUS... YOU LITTLE BITC” you scream, you don’t get to finish the sentence, you feel the blade exit you and collide with your throat. The girl starts to laugh louder and louder as you choke on your own blood, pouring out of you like a busted tap. Nicole starts to kiss you again, your blooded lips full of rage but you can’t stop… the pain is unbearable.

She grabs the knife once more, you can barely make out her figure in the dark, she raises it… and you learn the consequences of going home with a stranger.

OMGitsaROSS
13-01-2007, 10:10 AM
OMG:O
+rep I really thought he was gonna get sum crumpet lol. I like it alot :D

Browney
13-01-2007, 10:50 AM
As i'm hungry and I want my breakfast I skim read that but from what I read I really like it. I love your style of letting us know what the character is thinking.

+Rep

Andeeh
14-01-2007, 10:57 AM
Great Story And A Good Message ;)

+Rep

Nemo
14-01-2007, 12:10 PM
omg that was mad... +rep

FlyingJesus
14-01-2007, 02:50 PM
Sounds like my ex.

scubadiva
14-01-2007, 03:29 PM
Sounds like my ex.

Was she called Nicole too? :P

I like the story, I could tell from the style that it was going to end in death, but it was really tense. +rep

PigsNose
14-01-2007, 04:00 PM
I am scared..
*Shivers*
Very well written.
Quiet isn't spelt Quite btw.
+rep :)
9.8/10

Pawf
14-01-2007, 05:47 PM
Sounds like my ex.

She stabbed you to death... metaphorically speaking? :P

@ Intellect: I really like your style and the was you write in the 2nd person without disclosing information such as "my" own name which make the reader feel much more involved with the story.

I spotted a few minor errors such as "quite" as some one mentioned earlier and "their" instead of "they're" but other than that it's very good!

+rep

Tiuhdur
14-01-2007, 05:48 PM
its good +rep edit cant rep u lol

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