My Love Poem

[Lordi]

I remember the treachery of that day
When that special girl who used to say
Ill you more, just day by day
When she used to love you...

I cant forget that evening dinner
When she didnt eat, she wanted slimmer
Even though she looked a winner
When I used to love her...

I suppose that late night fling
Was just another funny thing
But all that love she used to bring...
When I used to hug you...

I found her alone, along the stair
Her stab wounds deep, her matty hair
She never thought, for her i'd care
when i used to kiss you...

At your Funeral here today,
I could not speak, i could not say
About our love, back in the day
When I used to love you...

[VPSwow]

That is a nice poem :D

[Lordi]

Thanks x] m8y

[samsaBEAR]

i dont usually like poetry, but i really liked yours
i think it might have been the last lines of each stanza [yeh, im well posh innit] that made it better for me

[Lordi]

Please Comment People

[Fonejacker]

Ill you more, just day by day

Is that a spelling mistake? or am i just dumb :D im just proberly dumb :(

[Misawa]

I like your use of quatranes in each stanza. Too bad for the missing iambic quatrameter, hmm?

See, I can be posh too.

Actually, I just study English Literature at A-Level. :eusa_danc

[SusieC]

That's really good!

I try and do good poetry but everything always comes out wrong and the structure/sentences don't look right. :S

[harmony]

aww, very nice poem! its really good.. keep it up! :)

[4:20]

Nice poem XD

[LOLROB]

-crys- it is so good :)

[Misawa]

Pretty good poem. Some grammar and punctual errors.

Oh, and this should be in the Poetry forum!!!

[hobo]

its crap tbh. some of it doesn't even make sense.