Life is a ?

[Bef]

This is another poem ive wrote.

Life is a **** up.
Nothing goes right,
The sweet things turn sour,
Each day becomes night.

Good Intentions are selfish,
Bad Intentions spread hate.
You end up six feet under,
Thats everyones fate.

The rich people get richer,
The poor never try?
You can put on a smile.
But lie in bed alone and cry.

Nobodys perfect.
Some hide this away.
But its always revealed.
At the end of the day *Dont like this line*

Some people have families.
But it can all be a lie.
Others are always let down.
However hard that they try.

You may fall in love,
But is it all about fate?
What would of happend,
If you were a minute to late?

Some people show emotion.
Others hearts become cold.
Some sit and listen.
Others won't do as there told.

You set everything out.
Have it all planned.
But what if it washes away?
Like writing on sand.

Life is a *****
You try and you try.
To do everything perfect
But in the end we all die.

Hey please tell me what lines u dont like, what i shud change. ect.

[jesus]

You are really quite a poet aren't you? One can tel you are going to pass your English poetry exam.

[Bef]

You are really quite a poet aren't you? One can tel you are going to pass your English poetry exam.

Yay, i hope so but my poetry aint that good, i just write my feelings and whats going on in my life! Makes me feel better. Im putting it in 4 gcse though!

[AngJum]

Yeah, wow. Can tottaly relate to that.

I try and try to write a poem, but I cannot find the words to describe the things I feel.. and find it hard to share them with others.. but you have, and I like your poem.

[Vause]

yes i agree with ang, i like the words ;)

[AngJum]

yes i agree with ang, i like the words ;)
Stop trying to get in my good books you ;)

[Mentor]

Thats actaly quite a good poem.

I cant suggest any imrpovemnts.
Good work

[Bef]

Thankyou guys <3 <3 <3 You all rock my soaking wet stinkingly stinky socks!

[Blader_Boy]

wow, i am impressed. I've never really looked into this section before and the first thing i read is excellent, you have a real tallent keep it up. Some people have a way with words others dont, you are one of those people that do. :)

every stanza seems to have its own message i dont know if you did this deliberately, just something i noticed

1. All good things come to and end
2. Everyone is equal
3.
4. Nobodys perfect
5.
6. What if?
7.
8. Everyone is equal - we all share the same fate.

i struggled with afew, but this poem has really got me thinking lol

it all seems to be about life in a sense that nothing can be perfect, whatever you think you have you dont however in the end we all share the same fate in death..!? ;)

wow iv been sitting here way to long contemplating life i need some sleep lol, amazing poem.

[Bef]

Thanks Blader, Yer i was trying to get a few different messages across. And you got most of them, Il tell u what i was trying to get eith 3, 5 and 7.
3 i was saying that like rich people wanna be richer, they spend ther hole life working for there money. The poor always wish to be rich. In the origional poem i did it said
The rich people get richer
The poor never try?
But when death comes knocking
On there unspent money they die.
But um i didnt quite like it, i was trying to say they spend there whole life working for money but at the end of there days they will proberly look back on life and think, have i enjoyed it? Or have i just wasted my life getting money ive not really used?
But with the improvments i hoped it would kind of be like the rich cry cos theve wasted ther time, the poor cry because they wish they were rich...
The verse about families is saying it can be a bit of pot luck. were all dealt different cards. Some people may have nice loving families, for others the love in the family could all be fake, like children sucing up to dying parents for there money. But some people dont have anybody to rely on, maybe there parents died, or they lost touch.
7 is just saying that you can plan your life, cross all the t's, dot all the i's but nothing is ever definate. Sometimes you can say you'll do something but its never 100% theres always that chance that a big wave will come and wash it away. I was thinking about the saying "Written in stone" which means things are deffinate and i wanted to say the opposite.
Thanks guys for reading it and you all may interupt it in your own ways.
My spelling sucs.
And im glad blader, that you pretty much understood exactly where i was coming from.

[jammy06]

Its great i love ur poems Read it again because it rocks:

Life is a **** up.
Nothing goes right,
The sweet things turn sour,
Each day becomes night.

Good Intentions are selfish,
Bad Intentions spread hate.
You end up six feet under,
Thats everyones fate.

The rich people get richer,
The poor never try?
You can put on a smile.
But lie in bed alone and cry.

Nobodys perfect.
Some hide this away.
But its always revealed.
At the end of the day *Dont like this line*

Some people have families.
But it can all be a lie.
Others are always let down.
However hard that they try.

You may fall in love,
But is it all about fate?
What would of happend,
If you were a minute to late?

Some people show emotion.
Others hearts become cold.
Some sit and listen.
Others won't do as there told.

You set everything out.
Have it all planned.
But what if it washes away?
Like writing on sand.

Life is a *****
You try and you try.
To do everything perfect
But in the end we all die.

[Bef]

Thanks, ive written loads more but there not really, sutible for habbox, plus my teachers got them. lol, il try and right some sutible ones. i write about my life and feelings and um the other poems ive done are quite distressing. With one of my poems called You could have been someone i made everyone cry including myself. I'ts about a personal experience of mine...

[hedgeog325]

Like your poem + its great! :D