How to cope.

[Charlie]

Sorry for it being so long :P

I've been in a relationship for two years with someone over the internet, and the past few days they have been ignoring me, and telling me they'll text me later or something so they could hang out with their friends. I know they should be allowed to hang out with their friends, but they never made the effort to talk to me. And, on top of that, they were constantly telling me to sort out meeting arrangements and stuff so we could be together, but my parents refused to do anything unless her mom knew, but she refused to tell her and continued to tell me what to do about meeting.

Last night, I finally snapped, I had had enough of her blowing me off for her friends and not even talking to me for even just an hour if that, it was only one or two texts before she went back to her friends. I told her that I didn't love her anymore, which to be honest was the honest truth, I didn't feel as strongly towards her. I also told her, that I didn't find her that attractive, which is the truth also. She rang me after that, and started yelling at me, and insulting me, and she even got her cousin to help her, and had the cheek to turn around and say I was immature and pathetic and that I was hiding behind my sarcastic comments, because I still loved her. Which is complete rubbish as I'm always a sarcastic. After loads of phone calls, and me constantly getting really annoyed and hanging up, she started to text me. I decided that enough was enough, and I really hurt her, so she tried to do the same back by telling me that she had cheated on me numerous times, but I wasn't suprised because I suspected it for ages and she kept denying it all the time.

Now, it's the day after all of that, and the reality of it's really kicking in. I can't stop thinking about what she said, and how much she really hurt me, and how much I hurt her, it's really upsetting me. I wanna talk to her, and say I'm sorry and take her back, but at the same time after all she's done to me, I really don't want to. I'm holding onto a shread of hope that she'll come back and start talking to me, but part of me knows I'm only fooling myself, which upsets me more. I really don't know how to cope, I put two years of my life into this relationship which meant I was on the internt whenever I could to talk to her (she even called me an internet addict, when most of the time I was waiting to talk to her "/) and now it's all gone down the drain and I really had high hopes for this relationship going somewhere, it's hard to deal with the fact that nothings going to come of it. What can I do to try and get over it? It's really getting me down, and I don't wanna be a depressed wreak as I'm starting college soon and I want to do that with a positive attitude. Help? :(

[FlyingJesus]

What you're missing isn't her especially, it's the feeling of being with someone. You mentioned that you truly don't love her or find her that attractive, and if all the other stuff is true then really it's a shame that it didn't work out, but you'll have to put it down to being a good experience gone bad. You're likely to start thinking of all the best bits (which were probably towards the beginning of the relationship) but remember that the bad must have outweighed them, or everything last night wouldn't have happened.

I've been on both ends of breakups and both ends of unfaithful relationships, and I'll tell you truthfully that getting back after something like this does not work. Taking a "break" from a relationship does not work. "Trying again" does not work. It's sad but it's the bitter reality of the thing, and the best you can do is try to get over it as quickly as possible. You mentioned that you've spent a lot of time in trying to talk to her online and such, but now what's important is getting out, keeping yourself occupied. The more you're doing, the less you'll think of her and the quicker it'll be until you can think of her and everything as just a happy past that you've moved away from. The phrase "plenty more fish in the sea" and other stuff like that never really helps after a breakup, but it is true. I've been in the position where I've thought I'd never find another, but proved myself wrong. It does take time and it does hurt, I won't try to cover that up or tell you that it's easier than it really is, but with the right mentality you can make the hurt of it last much less time and effect you far less.

[bo$$]

That was an amazing reply. +rep. lol

Anywho;
I was in a relationship like.. a year ago and we had our share of problems during the whole thing.. and sometimes I thought "I really don't wanna do this anymore" and then other days I would be like.. Lovestruck. Then when it all ends in a fight you're like Okay well Im happy its done.. Then like you said.. The feelings REALLY start to sink in and it sucks. Just do what he said and go out a bit.. just try to keep your mind off of it. It's going to hurt whether you sulk around or not so you might as well do SOMETHING to get your mind off..
Or if you're really feeling bad.. just talk to her. Call her and have a serious conversation and say that you don't want it to be an argument and you just wanna get stuff off of your chest and then hopefully you'll feel better about the whole situation and there won't be so much tension between you two.

[Charlie]

I didn't realise anyone had posted, so yeah thanks & +rep.

I have attempted to talk to her, I said I was sorry for everything I said, because it was said out of anger and annoyance but most of it was true. But, she once again told me we'd talk later and I haven't heard anything from her since, I sent her a text message and still nothing, so I'm just going to leave her alone now, completely.

I did go out of the house for a bit, to clear my head and stuff, and it did work apart from the fact my mom was worried sick that I was going out to do something silly, but I'm trying my hardest to get out as much as I can at the moment, so I might start making random trips out a normal thing. As well as that, college starts soon so I can find some friends, and maybe someone new, which is something I really need because after only talking to someone for two years, you start to miss the physical side of the relationship. And, it'll help take my mind off everything. It's just now, I haven't got anything to do and its harder not to think about it.

Once again, thanks for posting. It's really helped.

[lew!]

my post is gonna be the odd one out: Short!


Yeah ive been in many internet relationships and ive found that its not the same love as in real life, yeah its kind of the same but its just hard when you cant really talk to them in real life apart from over the phone, its hard trying to find somewhere to meet and that but she sounds like a cow tbh, yeah everyone has arguments but if she cheated on you then dont take it! its not on.

Internet relationships just arnt the same! and yeah, try and find someone at your college where you can see often and that.

I really hope you find somone special

xx

[Charlie]

I spoke to her today, and I said sorry once again for what I said and I explained why I said it and she said sorry to, so we're okay as friends now. I also found out that she said she cheated as a lie to hurt me, but I don't know whether to believe her, as like I said, I've always suspected something. We also said that we weren't going to go out with each other, but we'll see how that goes but personally, I don't want to go down that road again.

Thanks anyway +rep :]