This isn't love

[Hopeless]

Your eyes are as bright as a sun ray
Your personality brightens up my day
Your perfect in everything you say
But I just wish there was another way…

We should of talked a bit before
Maybe I could of liked you more
Now it just feels so wrong
Frustrating me, your taking too long

Its nothing about you, I wasn’t ready
I just wanted to take it steady
I just had too much on my mind
I just had to leave you behind

It had to end, you could never understand
I wanted to fly, but you wanted to land
I wish we could be as one
But life’s unfair, and what’s done is done

[Sunny.]

one wordd - WOW

great poem +rep

[goodgirlgonebad]

i don't think its v good.
you should stick to the same rhythm with the same amount of syllables in each stanza so it flows better.
and should stick to the same rhyme scheme too

[Jõnathan]

It reads like a Bloc Party song.
P.S. Not all poems go by the way of rhyming the line before.

[Hopeless]

Thanks for the comments.
In my opinion this is my worst poem i have written yet.

[scubadiva]

Very nice poem there, I can see you've put quite some effort in it, the rhythm is a bit odd, but it works. Some grammatical errors in there, but I won't be a bore and point them out :P +rep

[Sunny.]

I hardly read poems, and tbh thats alot better than i could ever do :)

[Hopeless]

one wordd - WOW

great poem +rep


Very nice poem there, I can see you've put quite some effort in it, the rhythm is a bit odd, but it works. Some grammatical errors in there, but I won't be a bore and point them out :P +rep


thanks for the comments and sorry about any errors

[England]

-wipes tear from eye-

[Hopeless]

-wipes tear from eye-

i just read my poem again i am actually in love with it it perfectly desribes how i feel ..

thats so weird

i wrote poem about a situation i would never like to be in nd now im in it :(