i'm not a poet, but here goes.

[Zample]

It's amazing how I cannot sleep,
how I feel the numb claw at my feet,
the way the ice turns into burns
the way i feel my stomach churn.

so sick, so tired, insomniac and freak;
it's too hard, too painful, and i'm too weak.
i said i was ready but take a look at my heart;
i do this to myself cause it's too fun to fall apart.

the sensation down my arm and face,
like shadows of undying pain,
never knowing who's gonna go now,
never knowing who's next or how.

it's myseriously painful like a museum on the run
with broken, shattered windows and a fingerprintless gun.
like the artifacts of history shatter in your eyes,
while the reels of time replay again daring you to lie.






__________________________________________________ ___________________

so yeah, i dunno what exactly i will continue it with, but i may most likely continue it.

and yeahhh.
i'd like some help, cc, etc.

kthx. :]

[adamFTW]

It's amazing how I cannot sleep,
how I feel the numb claw at my feet,
the way the ice turns into burns
the way i feel my stomach churn.

so sick, so tired, insomniac and freak;
it's too hard, too painful, and i'm too weak.
i said i was ready but take a look at my heart;
i do this to myself cause it's too fun to fall apart.

the sensation down my arm and face,
like shadows of undying pain,
never knowing who's gonna go now,
never knowing who's next or how.

it's myseriously painful like a museum on the run
with broken, shattered windows and a fingerprintless gun.
like the artifacts of history shatter in your eyes,
while the reels of time replay again daring you to lie.


My favourite line... :)
The poem is well thought out, and im guessing that the theme is something like the person is hurt, emotionally or physically.. I dont know, but I really like it.

[Zample]

thank you, adam. :]


and yeah.. that's pretty much the main idea...


:] butmhmyeah. thanks for the good critiqueness. :3

[Fifteen]

woah, amazing.
+Rep

[msb.]

It's amazing how I cannot sleep,
how I feel the numb claw at my feet,
the way the ice turns into burns
the way i feel my stomach churn.

so sick, so tired, insomniac and freak;
it's too hard, too painful, and i'm too weak.
i said i was ready but take a look at my heart;
i do this to myself cause it's too fun to fall apart.

the sensation down my arm and face,
like shadows of undying pain,
never knowing who's gonna go now,
never knowing who's next or how.

it's myseriously painful like a museum on the run
with broken, shattered windows and a fingerprintless gun.
like the artifacts of history shatter in your eyes,
while the reels of time replay again daring you to lie.






__________________________________________________ ___________________

so yeah, i dunno what exactly i will continue it with, but i may most likely continue it.

and yeahhh.
i'd like some help, cc, etc.

kthx. :]


ummm tbh i dunno wot to say,

ever considered not to write poems?

[Janet Snakehole]

Ooer, I like that poem.
[:

[skins]

Your right your not a poet.

[whoooosh]

i like it
rhymes and has meaing
+rep