Young Relationships

[EwfrGomulee]

Hello,

I get contacted a lot by a few people I know who're quite young... so young infact that I consider it quite stupid for them to have such feelings.

The feelings I am typing about are the, so called, love feelings.

Now I have been the same age as them and I know EXACTLY what it is people of 12 to 17 feel... it's not love it's lust.

Anyway, the people I am talking about (Names will not be included) are, in a lot of people's opinion, too young to even think about love.
They are ages 10 to 12.
At those ages these people should still be going out on the stereo typical bike ride with friends or be out playing football or something... not standing around all squeekily voiced on a street corner shouting ''LEIKE OMG111 ME DEPWEZZED COS ME GO NO GURL!11''
YOU'RE 10 FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!

If any one on here is like that then I have news for you:
you have the next 70 to 80 years to think about a love life.

Think about THAT!... you do not need to be wasting people's time complaining about not having a girl friend when you quite clearly haven't even started puberty!.

So go enjoy Christmas like anyone of that age and go enjoy time out playing footy or riding bikes or whatever... do NOT come to people saying you think you're ugly simply because you cannot get a girl... it's really really REALLY annoying.

[FlyingJesus]

Hmm I agree that 10-12 year olds shouldn't be worrying about relationships, but your point about 12-17 year olds not knowing love, only lust, is not entirely true. I'll admit myself that when I was younger I had relationships I thought were love but turned out as lust, and hell even my most recent was of that sort, but I have also experienced love in the past.

[Cwmbran]

I agree with you on your 10-12 year old point, but anyone can experience love at any age.
Sure they may not know that it's love and they might not care if they are young, but they can experience it. Love for a friend, family member etc. Also your point on the 12-17 year olds not knowing what love is, I believe that to be false as well I would say people up to the age of 15/16 do not know what love is, when you hit 16 then you start to understand it more as you grow more mature and you have been in a few relationships where you claimed to have been "in love".

[Flyth]

yeh 10-12 year olds is way too young to be in a relationshop

[spot.]

i disagree 12 yr olds should be allowed to get it on if they want to

[buttons]

Well, why not? You can't be to young or old for love, that's stupid. I'm sure I was like 10 when I first proper fell in love but maybe I was young and stupid but y'know.

[alex 1889]

Agreed mostly, there doing it because its "the thing everyones doing" and they dont understand how to have their own personality

[EverSteve]

I can't see how 12 - 17 year olds feel love. Appart from people who just want kisses etc, people who act childish and dont know the meaning obviously not, but for the Sensible Teenagers, they can <3

[&]

my 7 year old niece has a 'boyfrined'
i think its rather cute lol.


but you dont know what love is at 10 :s

[Swinkid]

Im 13, you saying 12-17 mostly thats lust. that is not entierly true. my ex i lasted with more than a year. i would do anyfing for her. thats not so true now. i got a new girlfriend who ihave been going out for a few days now. i know its not lust. its love. i would literly die for her.

[EwfrGomulee]

Obviously young people will have a default love for their close friends and family however the love I am talking about is not that of comradship towards friends or a family bond, I am talking about when children meet other children.

Obviously, as said, children will do what they want when they feel they're old enough.
Here's the problem, ALL children think they're adults or old enough to make a decision by themselves.
I was one of those people.

Anyway, it may not be impossible for young people to have a REAL long term (life) relationship with someone else however it is also extremely unlikely.
I feel I have been slightely one sided in my comments earlier and must explain that most of the first post was about males and not females.

However it is just as common with Females as it is males.
The issue with both sides is that they both perceive love as an attraction to another person which would be correct.
What they do NOT think about is WHY they are attracted to that person, most of the time it is because they are ''FIT'' ''CUTE'' ect ect ect;

It is quite unlikely for people to have a meaningful relationship if they only like each other for their looks which is what most people do.

I admit I have had my fair share of girls friends but was only interested in their looks however I've grown out of such a pathetic phase.

If you notice that the less good looking people in Schools are not sought after as much as the ones who could be supermodels but these ''ugly'' people can and usually do have hearts of gold and the ''supermodel'' type girls or boys could be complete... Poopers.
Which usually determines just how long a young relationship will last.

In some cases good looking people CAN be very nice, quite a few girls I know are very kind and polite to me and other people.
I do find it to be a minority though as most people who are good looking and know it tend to become extremely difficult to be around and to talk to as they spend a lot of time swearing at random passers by.

[mousey]

12 and below is young for a relation ship

13-15 lust

16+ love, the reason i say this is because i know many people married at 16, as you can with your parent permission.

im 14 and i had a girlfriend for 2 years

[Lycan]

Ahh i don't actually remember being 10.... or 11... think i had a gf at 12 not deadly serrious of course,

Weird how they want to have everything at such a young age... relax! don't take life so serriously

[FlyingJesus]

Im 13, you saying 12-17 mostly thats lust. that is not entierly true. my ex i lasted with more than a year. i would do anyfing for her. thats not so true now. i got a new girlfriend who ihave been going out for a few days now. i know its not lust. its love. i would literly die for her.

Ahah. Yeah you're kind of proving his point, you wouldn't know true love in a few days.

What people are missing out of the argument is that there isn't just lust and love - there's also infatuation, which is what most people fall under. People who are infatuated often believe that they'd do anything for their partner (or prospective partner) but it isn't lasting and it's pretty blind.

[Swinkid]

12 and below is young for a relation ship

13-15 lust

16+ love, the reason i say this is because i know many people married at 16, as you can with your parent permission.

im 14 and i had a girlfriend for 2 years

As i said, i dont totaly agree with 13-15 is lust.
I dotn care what they look like. but how they feel about me in return.
i can tell you this isent lust i know the diffrence.


Ahah. Yeah you're kind of proving his point, you wouldn't know true love in a few days.

What people are missing out of the argument is that there isn't just lust and love - there's also infatuation, which is what most people fall under. People who are infatuated often believe that they'd do anything for their partner (or prospective partner) but it isn't lasting and it's pretty blind.

maybe idont know. but my ex i was with her for more than 2 years.

[EwfrGomulee]

The best way to test if someone REALLY WOULD die for their partner is to put them in a position they feel is real.

Example: Actors posing as gunmen hold one of them hostage, see how the couple react when put in a situation where one will be in next to fatal danger.

I know that is a little extreme but atleast you'd know where you stand with the person.
Even though that situation is not something that happens often I can certainly say it is a good way to test the couple's feelings for each other.

I say this because even those rare couples who claim to be willing to die for their partner sometimes get divorced or leave each other if not married.

[Andeeh]

Well said!

:P

But 12 - 17 Lust?

Maybe 12 - 14 is Lust.

[Swinkid]

The best way to test if someone REALLY WOULD die for their partner is to put them in a position they feel is real.

Example: Actors posing as gunmen hold one of them hostage, see how the couple react when put in a situation where one will be in next to fatal danger.

I know that is a little extreme but atleast you'd know where you stand with the person.
Even though that situation is not something that happens often I can certainly say it is a good way to test the couple's feelings for each other.

I say this because even those rare couples who claim to be willing to die for their partner sometimes get divorced or leave each other if not married.
Ok, put me in the situation then.

[EwfrGomulee]

Well I currently do not own a giant castle on top of a big spooky hill in Transilvania so that is going to be difficult.

Think of it this way and think of it CAREFULLY.
Would you take a Bullet for someone? even if you knew it isa 50/50 chance that they'd rather you be shot than them.

[Swinkid]

Well I currently do not own a giant castle on top of a big spooky hill in Transilvania so that is going to be difficult.

Think of it this way and think of it CAREFULLY.
Would you take a Bullet for someone? even if you knew it isa 50/50 chance that they'd rather you be shot than them.

is it was someone who i loved yes. i mean that from my heart.

[Albion]

I've been with the same girl since yr 4 we grew up together and that, it was only a mess around at first like ' err kiss him heeeheheeee' But now im in yr 9 and its good .

[Fez]

Finally, I thought I was the only one who thought this.

I seriously hate it when groups of 10-11 year olds hang outside random classrooms and giggle and stuff, then they barge in the classroom and tell ''LUKE, YER DUMPT'' then giggle and stiffle and laugh and run off with handbags barely on there hands.

Why is emotion so contradicted now?

[5,5]

I had a girlfreind when I was 11.

[Janet Snakehole]

I had a boyfriend when I was about 8 or something.
But tbh, at that age.. it was nothing serious, how could it of been?
I didn't really know what love really was.

I would personally say that as you grow older, you begin to learn of love.. and everyones different. Yeah, for some it is lust. But its not the case for everyone. Someone said earlier that they've been going out with a girl for a few days now, and would basically risk his life for her. I think thats sweet because he feels that way. I think the word love is so over-rated these days, and you can't do right for doing wrong.. if you understand where I'm coming from?

[Shrlurp]

;)

K ermm... yeah kiddies are abit annoying with "love"

And when they type like this, 1 15 g001ngG 0uUt W1v Y4 M0m

K

[EwfrGomulee]

Finally, I thought I was the only one who thought this.

I seriously hate it when groups of 10-11 year olds hang outside random classrooms and giggle and stuff, then they barge in the classroom and tell ''LUKE, YER DUMPT'' then giggle and stiffle and laugh and run off with handbags barely on there hands.

Why is emotion so contradicted now?


You know that used to annoy me to.
And you described it almost to the letter.
A guy in my class got that so much where they'd be really nice to him and ask him out, then they'd come along at the end of the day and say ''you know it was just a joke right?''

After a few months of this he became rather... angry... as you might understand and ended up shouting, swearing, effing and jeffing just about every insult, rude and nasty comment he could right at this girl's face.
Needless to say it had the desired effect and they left him alone.

Personally I think people deserve that sort of punishment if they do wrong.
We're too much of a slap on the wrist society now.
In School some kid thought it a good idea to bully me for my views on Animal rights... it got to a point where he hit me, now I've always taught and been taught NEVER to take physical abuse from ANYONE and to pay them back for unlawful contact.
My payback was grabbing this person, getting him into a headlock and running towards a brick wall with him still headlocked.
I can tell you that he deserved that and was in alot of pain for a few days.

Justice was served :):eusa_wall

[lew!]

Lol, I had one girlfreind which was from when i was 9 and a half to 11.. But then now i turned out gay lmao..

[H]

So a 10-12 year old does not love their parents, that feeling doesnt exist to them till they are older? what allowed of rubbish.

you can love at any age, your just more mature in a relationship when you're older.

[Jaiisun]

You're wrong.

Who can say who is in love and who isn't?
Nobody can.
You're not them; so you don't know how they feel.

I think anyone can fall in love; at any age.

I'm 15; and i'm in love.

'kay?

I'd agree with you if you said some 10 to 12 year olds don't act mature enough to feel strong feelings for another person. Or if you said some 10 to 12 year olds are just tryin' to fall in love because other people are- i'd be tempted to agree.

[EwfrGomulee]

So a 10-12 year old does not love their parents, that feeling doesnt exist to them till they are older? what allowed of rubbish.

you can love at any age, your just more mature in a relationship when you're older.


Urgh!, I stated before that people will have a default love for close relatives such as family and possibly long time friends.

I AM NOT SAYING they have NO love at all!
READ THE THREAD!

[Browney]

I'm 15 and I genuinely think I love my girlfriend. I'm not saying it cause everyone else is all lovey or paired up but I think I really do love her. Who knows, maybe my attitude will change and when I'm 20 I'll look back and think "That was just lust." But for now, I'm pretty much smitten.

Also, as much as I love her I don't think I would take a bullet for her. I'd love to say I would but when put in the situation I'm not so sure.

[edible]

I've only been in love twice, with my current boyfriend I'm smitten! I love him, I really do - I would probably risk my life for him because he makes me happy, I could go on forever about how much I love him.
And when I was 15, I was with this lad for nearly a year - I was in love I think. But right now, I'm definetely in love :D!!
Although I agree on the bit about under 13's not knowing what love is, most of them have relationships with the latest "in" people, etc.

[The Professor]

I think your age ranges are way out. Anyone under 11 is unlikely to experience anything that could be approximated to love and, as a child, shouldn't even be thinking about it. That much, I agree with.

But at 12, as people start puberty, they begin to start noticing people of the opposite sex (or same sex as the case may be). In immature people (usually the people you see in the high street on a Friday night drunk and smoking some sort of substance) this feeling is usually expressed as lust/infatuation/whatever and, as you've said, go for people because "theyre fit" or whatever. This will probably last a good couple of years, and people like this are usually proud at the amount of boyfriends/girlfriends they've had, which proves that none of the feelings were beyond skin-deep.

But, the more mature younger people actually realise that there is no point worrying about it, and will be quite happy to wait until they meet someone they really want to be with. Unfortunately, because of the way society has turned out, you're considered "sad" and "cant get a girlfriend" if this is the case, but it is untrue, they have just matured early.

Either way, by around 14/15, most if not all people have a basic understanding of the difference between "love" and "infatuation," hence you being able to marry at 16.

[JackHb]

Hello,

I get contacted a lot by a few people I know who're quite young... so young infact that I consider it quite stupid for them to have such feelings.

The feelings I am typing about are the, so called, love feelings.

Now I have been the same age as them and I know EXACTLY what it is people of 12 to 17 feel... it's not love it's lust.

Anyway, the people I am talking about (Names will not be included) are, in a lot of people's opinion, too young to even think about love.
They are ages 10 to 12.
At those ages these people should still be going out on the stereo typical bike ride with friends or be out playing football or something... not standing around all squeekily voiced on a street corner shouting ''LEIKE OMG111 ME DEPWEZZED COS ME GO NO GURL!11''
YOU'RE 10 FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!

If any one on here is like that then I have news for you:
you have the next 70 to 80 years to think about a love life.

Think about THAT!... you do not need to be wasting people's time complaining about not having a girl friend when you quite clearly haven't even started puberty!.

So go enjoy Christmas like anyone of that age and go enjoy time out playing footy or riding bikes or whatever... do NOT come to people saying you think you're ugly simply because you cannot get a girl... it's really really REALLY annoying.

12 to 17? So once its your 18th Birthday, you can immediately feel love?
Just because you never felt love at that age, doesn't mean everyone else won't.

And they don't need to be wasting peoples time complainin about not having a girl friend? Well your wasting people's time complaing about them complaing not having a girlfriend, so it's just as bad!

They shouldn't worry about having relationships, there looks etc, but they do. When they are older they will be at it like rabbits.
I had my first relationship when i was like 11 so I know I was thinking about sex etc at that time as I did a few things with that person (Not sex), if we weren't thinking about stuff at that age then we wouldn't have gone further than talking so footy and bike rides were out of the window years ago :)

[Virgin Mary]

I think it's wrong to tell mature people what they're feeling. Younger kids just do it for fun, like when you dress up in your parent's clothes or whatever. I think young kids like to imitate what adults do and pretending they're in a proper relationship is an example of this.

[DjZoc]

I totally agree with everything you said, except you should of increased the ages to 10-15 because most people inbetween there think they are in love, but really they have no idea what it is.

[Krusty]

ah
i disagree when people say you cant be in love if your a certain age (under 16) you can experience love at any age
when your like 15 and you say you want to spend the rest of ur life with someone is a bit stupid

[GTA-Andy]

This topic is full of people giving set years for when love can be experienced which I find absurd, if you are a mature senible person love can be possible at 13/14, it's rare but it's true. I agree that 97% of realtionships at that age are just lust or jealousy, but it can happen. I feel safe to say right now at 15 that I'm in love, I held myself back, I've never had a girlfriend until now, I waited for love not lust.

[Jamesy]

I agree with GTA. Although love before puberty I find a bit hard to believe as you are not developt physically or mentally for it yet.

[bubble79]

I don't think there's a set tiem for love but its not one of those things you could experience properly I'd have thought before puberty. I think I was in love when I was about 14-15 because I had those feelings about my boyfriend that meant that I watned to be with him all the time, I was completely and utterly happy in a way I never have been before when I was with him and somehow I was no longer really ambitious as I notrmally was but I just watned to settle down and have children when I got older. Sadly it didn't last as things happened but I still think that love can happen any time once you start expereiencing feelings for people.

[Swinkid]

I had a boyfriend when I was about 8 or something.
But tbh, at that age.. it was nothing serious, how could it of been?
I didn't really know what love really was.

I would personally say that as you grow older, you begin to learn of love.. and everyones different. Yeah, for some it is lust. But its not the case for everyone. Someone said earlier that they've been going out with a girl for a few days now, and would basically risk his life for her. I think thats sweet because he feels that way. I think the word love is so over-rated these days, and you can't do right for doing wrong.. if you understand where I'm coming from?

i agree with that. :P

[laurenJP]

Well I disagree a little bit.
This is because I have seen young relationships of 9-12
Maybe some want to show their feelings early, or they've started puberty early.
You never know!

[Janet Snakehole]

Well I disagree a little bit.
This is because I have seen young relationships of 9-12
Maybe some want to show their feelings early, or they've started puberty early.
You never know!

Im not saying you have to agree with me.

Everyone is different these days, and I understand exactly where you are coming from.

[RedStratocas]

how do you define love?

thats my biggest question. everyone just assumes that there is this magical feeling called "love" thats the best feeling in the world. what's wrong with really really liking someone? Why can't we say "love" at ease? why does everyone have to make a big deal out of it?

my point: why can't 12-17 year olds just "love" eachother, and you just let them? they have just as much power as anyone older to, as it's part of everyone's imagination anyway.

[Jamesy]

People assume it's lust a lot of the time. I believe lust is a part of "love" because if you didn't want them, how could you love them?

[Swinkid]

Well I disagree a little bit.
This is because I have seen young relationships of 9-12
Maybe some want to show their feelings early, or they've started puberty early.
You never know!
im 13, i alredy started pubirty and voice nearly broken ;S and have started looking at girls than idid when i was 10

[FlyingJesus]

WHAT IS LOVE
BABY DONT HURT ME
DONT HURT ME
NO MORE

[ItsDave]

Im not agreeing with 70-80 bit... thats just silly.