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Snowboarding
27-05-2005, 02:20 AM
What is the Least Intelligent Action or Quote You Have Heard From a Teacher?

In grade two, when I was 6 or 7 my teacher told the class that the distance of a side of a square is equal to the distance of the diagonal from one corner to the opposite corner. I told her that she was wrong and she argued. The majourity of the class piped up and said "She's a teacher - she's right, you're wrong". So I went to the front of the class and drew and square with right angles and equal sides (We didn't even learn angles in grade two :p). I then drew the diagonal and measured the side of the square and the diagonal, proving that the diagonal is longer than the side. It's ironic because just by looking at the diagonal you can tell it's longer without messaure :rolleyes:

partie2
27-05-2005, 05:04 AM
well my teacher in science said that you got a birth mark becuase thats where you get pinched when you are born which is wrong and when i was in ict before i went to my teacher my mouse dont work and he goes ok click file i was like my mouse dont work so i carnt and he didnt know what to do lol! :p

FRISC0
27-05-2005, 06:10 AM
Well, yesterday i was at school doing tech, and we had to do 3 ideas for this tech wood thing :s, but i said to my teacher "we have already done this last lesson" so he ignores me, and talks over me on purpose then at the end i show him that work i did last lesson, and he sais "wow these ideas are brilliant, why did you tell me Jamie!. I thought you were joking about doinbg the work" then i was like.. All these faces together: :s >=O >.< -.-' ARGH!

Jinxxed
27-05-2005, 06:16 AM
This supply in Science is like " You may have done circuits in Year 6.."

(Ten seconds later)

"And Year 5 Miss !"

She replied...

"Who's the clever boy ?! If you let me finish my sentence I could've said Year 5 !"

And the class is like w/e :p

Snowboarding
28-05-2005, 08:44 PM
I once had to help my teacher pronounce a word in grade 4 it was hilarious :D

Jasmin
12-06-2005, 12:04 PM
Haha, that happended to me, My fat old grade 3 teacher Miss Peirce (rhymes with another word for wee wee :rolleyes: ) and she was reading Carries war, and then shes topped, and made an excuse she had to go somewhere and she told me to carry on, haha
and the word was Hepzibah

dannyboymed
12-06-2005, 12:19 PM
My maths teacher wrote this on the board once, 3-1 = 1

What's scary is that we were in first year (Age group 12-14) and he really shoulda been qualified... :)

Michael.
12-06-2005, 03:28 PM
During a class the other day...

Teacher: Michael, how's your cousin?
Me: She's 19 months old today.
Teacher: Oh! Are you having a party for her?
Me: No...
Teacher: Why not?!
Me: Because she's only 19 months
Teacher: Oh well, I guess they don't know at this age. *Pauses* Did you get a cake for her?
Me: Why?
Teacher: It's her birthday!
Me: No it isn't - She's only 19 months!! About 1 & a half!

That one was a good one. Oh yeah, Our science teacher once said that we had to do a project on global warming, and then we were going to have a mass debate about it in class.

You may have to read that one aloud to get it! And a supply teacher told us to 'Cut the ****' once, then she told a racist joke, IN A CATHOLIC SCHOOL! Heh - She was home before lunch!

?-Doc-?
13-06-2005, 07:27 AM
Ok ... We were doing algerbra, the hard stuff. Not those easy ones, you primary people, juniors do. We didnt do excercise 1D (as the whole class agreed) and the teacher said "We did it LAST lesson".
-
We do all our working out in our books, and there WAS no 1D in OUR books.
The whole lesson (Half) we argued about it. Until the class gave up.
Everyone was like :@ >:( :s :@ And the teacher was the same.
Sometimes teachers are so forgetful/stupid. They shouldnt even be employed.

Steph
29-06-2005, 03:47 PM
Well you know them CGP revision books? Well we all got one in maths and everyone started laughing coz at the back it said "Shake well before use" (and if you know them CGP, they put a witty instruction kinda things at the back to take the mick e.g "Animals are never used to test our products - only children" , "A number of trees were harmed in the making of this book" etc you get the picture) and Miss were like "What's funny?" we told her and she were like "No, it's meant to say that coz sometimes you need to shake them incase theres any loose paper in it" lmao soo funny we were like THEY ARE WINDING US UP!!

Roboevil
01-07-2005, 08:58 AM
Haha, that happended to me, My fat old grade 3 teacher Miss Peirce (rhymes with another word for wee wee :rolleyes: ) and she was reading Carries war, and then shes topped, and made an excuse she had to go somewhere and she told me to carry on, haha
and the word was Hepzibah
We had a fat mrs peirce, she walked around with no shoes on and had spots down her neck, look like she was dibbling achne. Minging.
Our fat P.E teacher who wears tracksuit's everywhere always goes on about school uniform... "/

Meyaz
13-07-2005, 04:45 PM
Yazzi were did you get that book from ? Um you gave me it :rolleyes:

.:F:.two
13-07-2005, 06:17 PM
What is the Least Intelligent Action or Quote You Have Heard From a Teacher?

In grade two, when I was 6 or 7 my teacher told the class that the distance of a side of a square is equal to the distance of the diagonal from one corner to the opposite corner. I told her that she was wrong and she argued. The majourity of the class piped up and said "She's a teacher - she's right, you're wrong". So I went to the front of the class and drew and square with right angles and equal sides (We didn't even learn angles in grade two :p). I then drew the diagonal and measured the side of the square and the diagonal, proving that the diagonal is longer than the side. It's ironic because just by looking at the diagonal you can tell it's longer without messaure :rolleyes:


I think you heard it wrong and got confused.

2 x Side of square squared = diagonal of square squared.... its something like that anyway

sillyboy

Homesrfan
27-09-2005, 09:08 PM
Well, the other day in gym my PE teacher said, "Okay guys, come get this piece of sh... I MEAN piece of paper."
He didn't say the whole word but everyone started to giggle. :)

Victimized
27-09-2005, 09:09 PM
My maths teacher couldn't remember what 5x4 was!
But then again we had just be mucking around loads.

Bradd-Aaron
27-09-2005, 09:23 PM
Lol my maths teacher was talking and he ses Whos that talking!! were like urrr you *pulls ******* face* Oh yer and I was doing a test and a wasp flew over me so I got up and yelled and the teacher goes sit down it not harm you then it flies up to this boy and stings him!

Homesrfan
27-09-2005, 09:50 PM
Oh, once in my geography class, I had to sneeze. And you know when your sick, and you sneeze, well lets just say it isn't pretty. So I sneezed and I got up to get a tissue and the teacher was like "Matt! Cut it out! Do you need more work to do?" and I said "What?" and then he made me do definitions! I told him that all I did was sneeze and he just ignored me. And after I was done he was like "Oh, sorry."
I was sooo mad.

RyAzIzErE
27-10-2005, 11:40 AM
Well you Know the signs that say *walk on the left*

I saw a Teacher walking on the right So i said to him Sir you are walking on the wrong side and gave me an Hours detention because he said i was being cheeky!

mikeman150
10-11-2005, 06:54 PM
I was in GCSE ICT and we were doing web searches, and my teacher was doing a web search, which he projected onto the whiteboard, and it was for information on Henry VIII Wives. He typed the search in Google, and he clicked one of the sponsered links, and didn't notice. Then a page of How will i put it? "Sexual imagery" lol came up projected on the whiteboard. Just then the headteacher came into the room with a HMI Inspector! The Schools now in special mesures, so you do the math lol.

It was hilarious

Blinger1
10-11-2005, 07:07 PM
mine would be when we have english classes (yea we speak german for a 1st language) i have to always read the english stuff:|

Victimized
10-11-2005, 07:27 PM
My teacher today said me and my friend Josh were disrupting the class too much so she said she was gonna move us. But the dumb cow just moved us to the back and kept us sitting next to eachoter?? Surely if we were that bad we'd be split up. ANyway sitting at the backs better coz you can make paper aeroplanes without getting caught and then throw them at her whilst she's writing on the board.

Blinger1
10-11-2005, 07:34 PM
ummm, it doesnt ALWAYS make you cool sitting at the back, and why stuff around in class? sure it looks/sounds fun but in the long run its not worth it when you want a job

GJay
18-11-2005, 11:21 AM
[QUOTE=Snowboarding]What is the Least Intelligent Action or Quote You Have Heard From a Teacher?

ICT Teacher: Input - 5 letters!

ICT Students: oh well done sir -.-

BLuweesH
18-11-2005, 11:36 AM
Well this year, we had to study transformation of Emma & Clueless in English and when we were watching the movie Clueless, there was a dirty joke, and then like 20 seconds, the English teacher was like to everyone, "that was a dirty joke, wasn't it?" :P

Laura.
18-11-2005, 04:42 PM
My Media Teacher (Fit)Forgot To Give My Mate Her Report Back So We Went Back Up At The End Of Break And I Go "Hey Sir You Forgot Something" He Was Like "What!" Then I Go Becky's Report And He Goes "Oh F..." And I Go Say It I Say it And I Said It And He Went, " Oh Bolloc.." And stopped Again I Was Like " Sir Just Say it Or Ill Tell Everyone You Wear A Tu-Tu(I Always Take The Mick Outta Him - BTW He Dont Wear Tu-Tu's) Then He Said "Oh No! Not The Tu-Tu's For F........ Flibbing Sake" So I Said "For gods Sake I Know Your Fit BUT... We Swear.. Just Swear" And We All Laughed.

Well It Was Funny To Me And My Mate And The Teacher.

Toes
21-11-2005, 11:18 AM
Whats the 'I' thats bad about the internet?
Pupil- Inaproprate(Sp dudes)
Teacher-No information.
Supervising teacher-Wha?

He's my M.S teacher Dotted!

0verRide
21-11-2005, 11:20 AM
*20 second pause*
NOW WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY FOR YOURSELF MR. SPEARMAN!

:rolleyes:

Dark--Mark
27-11-2005, 10:34 PM
1 - My RE techer about an actor playing saint mathew:

Pupil: "That actors got a big nose haw haw!"
Teacher: "He must have one, Hes playin a jew, they've all got big noses"

I was shocked and appauld

2 - IT teacher: GIGO Garbage In Garbage Out

me and stephen- : *snigg,ering for the whole lesson*

Tintinabulation
22-12-2005, 03:39 PM
My history teacher was from Africa and he wanted to write "Henry VIII wanted the monestries" But it cam out as "Henry VIII Wa*ked the monestries"

Crono
22-12-2005, 03:43 PM
I hear stupid stuff from my science teacher all the time.

I'm in a team taught science class, so there's 2 teachers. The older one, when the younger one is talking, always asks stupid obvious questions that could be easily answered if she just thought about it, or paid attention.

And an unintelligent action, this week my english teacher has been standing in the hallway shaking some raddle type thing and singing Christmas carols before class.

Blankets
31-12-2005, 05:43 AM
My RE teacher was reading something about Origins.. and she said Oranges?

Oh, and my English teacher must be the funniest woman on the planet;
"She had really good sox life.." (yeah Sox is just an exxageration of her accent)
"Really REALLY REALLY, BEAUTIFUL, BEAUTIFUL meal"

Dentafrice1
31-12-2005, 05:55 AM
Mine said... Umm Lunch

נαмιє єℓℓσω≤
31-12-2005, 11:36 PM
i remember i was in year 6 i was 11 years old and we was doing maths and the teacher is like hmm :rolleyes: and i give her the answer and she is like :o jamie how did you get that answer so fast and i gave her a lecture about algebra sooo boring

Tash.
01-01-2006, 11:57 AM
This science teacher was babbling on about the atmosphere of the earth etc.. and we had a book infront of us with it all in. She just comes out with "Over 75% of the worlds atmosphere is Carbon Dioxide." Me + my mate burst out laughin cos if it was, we'd have been dead a long time by now!

paradox
01-01-2006, 12:02 PM
Seeing as this was brought up, might aswell post :S

My English Teacher said that blah blah aint done nothing

L1P
18-01-2006, 06:13 PM
What is the Least Intelligent Action or Quote You Have Heard From a Teacher?

In grade two, when I was 6 or 7 my teacher told the class that the distance of a side of a square is equal to the distance of the diagonal from one corner to the opposite corner. I told her that she was wrong and she argued. The majourity of the class piped up and said "She's a teacher - she's right, you're wrong". So I went to the front of the class and drew and square with right angles and equal sides (We didn't even learn angles in grade two :p). I then drew the diagonal and measured the side of the square and the diagonal, proving that the diagonal is longer than the side. It's ironic because just by looking at the diagonal you can tell it's longer without messaure :rolleyes:

It isn't a square unless all sides are the same, and you must have drew a really rubish square cause diagonaly should be the same size as eatch side...

Italic
19-01-2006, 10:01 AM
It isn't a square unless all sides are the same, and you must have drew a really rubish square cause diagonaly should be the same size as eatch side...
Ok, test it out for yourself :P

My teacher last year said that your siblings are your parents, and everyone argued. But we all had to write 'My siblings are (Mum) and (Dad).
And then the next day she apoligised and said 'Mondays' :P

letsdance6
26-01-2006, 09:32 PM
Lmao, not too long ago we have this science teacher (Woman) that looks like a mini-hagrid.
She goes.
.......These things are called rgm
It was meant to be organisms lmao !

DMB-Hosting
27-01-2006, 06:14 PM
My GCSE teacher once got convex and concave the wrong way round i had to argue my way to make her believe me.
And also those CPG books are dodgey have phrases like *keep refridgerated* lol

Krusty
27-01-2006, 06:24 PM
At primary school the dinner ladies used to say 'NO RUNNING' when ever we played a game..
then my friend walked past the dinner lady to talk to me and she shouted
'NO RUNNING'
lmao

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