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Scania
20-12-2007, 11:17 PM
http://s.bebo.com/img/vid.gifBorn on the Moors, to a caring mare, the rain on my face, the wind in my hair.
Joy in my eyes, a tiny bright foal, with love in my heart, that one day would fall.
Growing and learning, upon the wild hills. Racing the wind, a young colt thrills.
But one day a big lorry, with humans inside, drags off my friend to where dark tales abide.

My mother is frightened, my father is brave. My friend, who was free, will now be a slave.

And then a great army, of twenty strong men, captures my herd, of my father and ten.
We are shoved in a truck, which roars along. We’re scared for our lives, which won’t last long.

We wait in the dark, so thirsty and hot, but there is no relief and water’s forgot.

At last we emerge, into daylight again, where we're jabbed at with forks from the hands of the men. And herded thru barriers, narrow and tall, but I still have my mother, and so I don't fall.

But I smell a strange thing, a repulsive stench, and it frightens me so, that I twist and I wrench.

The whickers are loud, but my mother stays quiet, though I think that she knows the reasons for riot.


So I calm just a little, and trust in her age, but then I see a dark stallion, exploding in rage.

His hooves clash on fencing, as the forks smite him down, and he coughs up red fluid and quickly he drowns.

The men drag him off, with a rope round his head, and I squeal with dread, at seeing him dead.

And my mother shows fear now, for herself and her son, but the bars are too tall. They've already won.


And we're inside the building, where the smell is so strong, that even this young foal knows what's going on.

And I don't try to struggle, as I wade through the blood; my mum says she loves me, and I knew that she would.

For that was the moment, before we must part, as the man with the knife, jabs it into her heart.

And stabs her again, and once more in the head, and she squeals and she dies, and falls like the rest.

To the moving conveyor, which beckons my soul, then the knife falls upon me. And so... I must go.

http://fc02.deviantart.com/fs17/f/2007/147/0/f/End_the_Horse_Slaughter_by_Miststream.jpg

FunerealSerap
18-05-2008, 07:58 PM
This is like.. heart breaking. People tend to forget horse cruelty. Animal cruelty, on a whole, is disgusting, but there's a lot people forget about.

Although it's on such a horrid subject, this poem is great. The rhyming is good and the flow is consistent throughout.

I think I spotted a few minor spelling errors, but aside from that, a great piece.

There's a lot of competitions out there focusing on poetry and animal cruelty. If you find one, I think you should enter this.

x

myke
18-05-2008, 08:02 PM
Amazing Sam, really touching. Well done.

I thought it was about making them into glue, but obviously not.

It's pretty sad :(

Well done +REP

whitebengal
18-05-2008, 10:50 PM
This is like.. heart breaking. People tend to forget horse cruelty. Animal cruelty, on a whole, is disgusting, but there's a lot people forget about.

Although it's on such a horrid subject, this poem is great. The rhyming is good and the flow is consistent throughout.

I think I spotted a few minor spelling errors, but aside from that, a great piece.

There's a lot of competitions out there focusing on poetry and animal cruelty. If you find one, I think you should enter this.

x


I agree! It's a great poem +rep :) x

Misawa
20-05-2008, 05:17 PM
Amazing Sam, really touching. Well done.

I thought it was about making them into glue, but obviously not.

It's pretty sad :(

Well done +REP

Animal glues were stopped a long time ago, and horses weren't slaughtered for that purpose.

effectiveness
20-05-2008, 05:18 PM
Did you make it up?

OrangeMobile
23-05-2008, 06:35 PM
Great poem, really provocotive,
But maybe try using more styles like enjambment of your syntax to try and empahsies your point.

Agnostic Bear
24-05-2008, 04:54 AM
Yeah I would have read that if it wasn't in a horrible shade of blue and centred.

FlyingJesus
24-05-2008, 08:22 PM
Great poem, really provocotive,
But maybe try using more styles like enjambment of your syntax to try and empahsies your point.

Provocative means sexy lol

YoManGo!
24-05-2008, 10:58 PM
Provocative means sexy lol

oh behave!
i assume she meant "thought provoking" :rolleyes:

FlyingJesus
24-05-2008, 11:00 PM
I assume it's a he and that he was just trying to use language that he doesn't know, as demonstrated by the rest of his post :P

Technologic
24-05-2008, 11:53 PM
All horses are useful for is racing or dog food...

FlyingJesus
25-05-2008, 12:00 AM
What what what what about knights and hunting

Technologic
25-05-2008, 09:45 AM
What what what what about knights and hunting
I suppose but hunting you're racing to catch the fox eh...

But knight i suppose have a use for them

flatface
25-05-2008, 11:00 AM
Thats a great poem, really say :(

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