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Snowboarding
17-06-2005, 12:50 AM
Once I was happy in my life.
Filled with one's emotions I was happy.
That time was joyfull - Full of love
Much appreciated was the time of old,
They were but as pure as a dove.

I was once sad in my life,
my future looked dark and grim
I was but a shadow floating
No potential - No existance

Now in my life I have choice.
Able to control myself I am
With great confidence to guide me.
I am but one - myself and tommorrow.
For we all have choice,
Our abilites can achieve our goals.
The goals we achieve fulfill our dreams.
And those dreams all begin with choice.

Janumz
17-06-2005, 03:29 PM
Nice.. i like it.. but it doesn't really have a rhythm (or however you spell it).. maybe if it like.. rhymed? or just followed a rhythm (using the sillables of each line etc) it could make it better?

but it's a great poem.. I like it.. wEll done :) +Rep

Ferccia
17-06-2005, 08:44 PM
Wow! Great poem :]
I really like it :D

Snowboarding
17-06-2005, 09:40 PM
Nice.. i like it.. but it doesn't really have a rhythm (or however you spell it).. maybe if it like.. rhymed? or just followed a rhythm (using the sillables of each line etc) it could make it better?

but it's a great poem.. I like it.. wEll done :) +Rep

I only have one part where it rhymes and I think that is the worst part of the poem. Also all poems don't have to rhyme, I actually like the ones that don't better :)

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