What can I do to help her?

[sarey]

Hi everyone.

Well, lately my friend has been looking extremely ill lately.
She has lost A LOT of weight, and her clothes are bagging off of her, she looks quite pale, and she is getting some bold patches too, her eyes are quite lifeless, and they look very sore... (red, veiny)
I recognized these sort of things because another friend of mine struggles with an eating disorder.

Well, today, I had a word with her, told her I'm very worried about her and if there is anything going on, that she can tell me. After a lot of 'I'm here for you' and 'you can tell me anythings', she told me that she had been making herself sick. I asked her how many times a day. She told me whenever she eats, she makes herself sick. She told me also that she doesn't eat for a few days too. This obviously shocked me and it made me cry for quite a while... I asked her why she does this, she said 'I need to do it, I feel in control so much when I do it, I have to do it'
She kept repeating herself.

She made me promise I wouldn't tell anybody, but this is so worrying and it's dangerous, she looks like ... just... horrid... she looks like death and it hurts me so much because I want to help her...

but how?
:(

And please, only serious posts.

[cocaine]

talk to someone such as a teacher or councillor in school, they'll be able to help more than you will just on your own

[Redacted]

talk to her parents maybe, if not confront her, and tell her that she needs to buck up her ideas.

[sarey]

By the looks of it, she's being doing this for a while, and with my other friend, telling them to 'buck up their ideas'... didn't do a lot... I just don't want her to be mad at me for telling someone... Damn I wish I didn't promise her now...

[:Edzy]

You have to tell someone for things to change, theres nothing you can really do alone. But you also have to empathise for her because there are reasons why people do this. It could be stress or plenty of other reasons.

[Bef]

Its seriously scary how young girls can make themselves soo ill and there parents dont notice. One of my best mates has been batteling with an eating disorder since she was 13. Its a serious issue and she needs help. My friend was on the brink of death at one point. Luckily shes getting alot better now.
I suggest you ask a teacher or her parent if theyve noticed anything. She needs help, and she will thank you for it one day. it may be that her parent has noticed something but is in denial.

[Pazza]

Tell her that your their, and if she's willing to try and stop, your going to help her.

And, try and get her parents to talk to her, because if you can't get through to her her parents should.

[luce]

Hi everyone.

Well, lately my friend has been looking extremely ill lately.
She has lost A LOT of weight, and her clothes are bagging off of her, she looks quite pale, and she is getting some bold patches too, her eyes are quite lifeless, and they look very sore... (red, veiny)
I recognized these sort of things because another friend of mine struggles with an eating disorder.

Well, today, I had a word with her, told her I'm very worried about her and if there is anything going on, that she can tell me. After a lot of 'I'm here for you' and 'you can tell me anythings', she told me that she had been making herself sick. I asked her how many times a day. She told me whenever she eats, she makes herself sick. She told me also that she doesn't eat for a few days too. This obviously shocked me and it made me cry for quite a while... I asked her why she does this, she said 'I need to do it, I feel in control so much when I do it, I have to do it'
She kept repeating herself.

She made me promise I wouldn't tell anybody, but this is so worrying and it's dangerous, she looks like ... just... horrid... she looks like death and it hurts me so much because I want to help her...

but how?
:(

And please, only serious posts.

We are doing this in PHSCE and i think you should talk to her about getting help. The thing is while your making yourself sick you don't get extreemly thin becuase your body has already absorbed the fat ect your just sicking up all the good aka nutriants.

But honestly shes needs help althought the may not be faital atm she is doing great damage to her throat straining to be sick and her teeth are deaedful becuase of the acid in the sick all the enamal will be gone :)

[Jordy]

I can't really help but encase you want to find out more about it and try find help for her, the eating disorder she most probably has is called Bulimia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bulimia_nervosa).

[PaintYourTarget]

Let her do it. I know it's hard to watch but it's her choice. She'll have a wake up call one day and decide to stop on her own. It's harsh, sorry, but it generally works.

[YoManGo!]

feed her high-calorie bars and tell her they're weight loss aides, like in mean girls.

[StickMan]

Talk to her parents, as soon as you can. Bulimia kills many persons a day.
Don't let her that happen, theire parents will be greatfull with you all theire lifes for saving their daughter.

It's a life, not a joke.
Dan/

[leah]

Tell her parents, she obviously needs help,
she may not thank you now,
but when she's better
she'll realsie you did the right thing :)

[buttons]

i swear u posted this before!! cause last time i told u to empty out her slimfast, so erm...don't tell her parents!! make sure it's okay with her first, cause she may fall out with ya and it'll make her go worse and you wont be able to do anything....

[Charlie]

You need to tell her that she needs help because even if she feels she's in control of it now she'll become worse and more ill then she is now and that isn't worth being skinny and having control over something when there is loads of things she could have control over in her life that won't hurt her or anyone around her.

Tell her that she needs to tell her parents or a counsellor or you'll tell them yourself, I know you promised her that you wouldn't but it's for the best at the end of the day.

[Niko Bellic]

Tell her parents?

[Jaiisun]

I'm really confused as to why, if it's been like this for some time, her parents haven't noticed? Or any relative? Or teacher?

If you can't face up to her and tell her you're worried, and how it is, then you're not the friend you think you are. Imagine if you were them, wouldn't you want to be told what your friends are thinking? Then, if she doesn't listen, at least you know you've tried. (You could even try telling her that if she doesn't try to get help, you'll get it for her - give her an ultimatum and let her know you're just looking out for her.)

If she doesn't listen, let her parents know, or a teacher, a learning mentor, just anybody with a little more authority than you - then something will have to get done, because she will only end up becoming seriously ill.

Good luck!

;].
Jay x

[sarey]

I have told her I'm worried and how it is, she doesn't listen to me.

I had a talk with her today and she walked away from me, she said 'you're not my friend, you're against me'

And by the way, yes, I have posted about this subject before, but that's the other friend I'm on about, she was hospitalized due to extremely low weight and she was, and still is, anorexic.

[BaybeeElin]

It sounds like she has a severe case of Bulimia.
I'm no doctor, I could be wrong.
Keep up what you are doing, at this time she needs comfort.
Make sure she doesn't get put down, that could damage her confidence even more and result in her getting worse.
Offer to take her to her GP, and speak to some adults about it, getting it out in the open will make her feel so much better.

[kooldude23]

My best friend went through this, it is just as common for males. She didnt eat for 4 days then forced herself to be sick because her ex was calling her fat. Is your friend being pick on? Friends, school or siblings? This is most likely the main trigger. There is also a sense of controll when you do it, but if you allow her to do it for too long it will escalate into a compultion making it alot harder to "cure".

[Fehm]

My best advice would be to reassure your friend, that shes in safe hands with you and other friends around her, and make sure you see a teacher, your conexions advisor (if your in england! (There good at that type of things)) and make her understand what shes doing wrong, and help to build up her confidence :)

Hope ive helped.