-=rooty987=-
24-06-2005, 07:24 PM
Sorry for the swearing, it's a strong story. It isn't finished, i only at the begginning.
[Chapter 1]
I look into his endless gaze, I look down – I’m scared. Your cold hands caress my waist. I feel warm inside. Your soft lips touch my neck, you lift them off slowly, I gently smile at you – I know this is wrong, but it feels so right. Your eyes say so much – yet you say nothing. I lean towards you, and tenderly touch your lips, you reply, it means so much. It feels like forever, I don’t want it to stop. You yet again, lift your lips away, you breath in the sweet air.
A tear drops from my eye, this isn’t right. I seize the duvet and throw it into the air, he gasps. I scan the room with my tearful eyes, my clothes are not there. I dodge around the room urgently, he watches me in shock. I jump abruptly over the bed, there lay my clothes, *****ed up, on the floor. Flashbacks from the previous night fill my head, secret excitement rushes through my body, yet I am angry.
I grab them, and scramble to the other side of the room, tears fall to the floor. Splash, Splash, tears hit the floor, I yank my trousers on, so uncomfortable, but I need to get out of this, it’s not right.
I slam the door, I lean against it and breathe slowly, I sink to the floor, and I here weeping from inside the door. ‘But it wasn’t right’ I think to myself ‘I did the right thing, didn’t I?’
[Chapter 2]
I sink into my sofa, the cold runs through my body, I don’t move, just think. I love him, well at least I think I do, but no, I can’t, how can I, he’s a guy, and so am I. I think about him, and I go hard, my face goes red. I push it down, no this can’t be happening!
I get angry, my heart goes on fire. ‘F*CK!’ I pick up the lamp beside me, the plug rips out of the plughole, sparks fly as the lamp collides into the wall. Why am I feeling this?
I look in the mirror, I stare, helplessly. I look away – ashamed of these feelings. The doorbell rings. Who is it? I question myself inquisitively. I open the door slowly, it’s him, Kai.
‘Joe!’ I hear him shout, as he violently bangs the door. I grasp the cold brass door****, I turn it slowly, I see his face as I open it. So sweet, so angelic. I want to caress him. Sensational feelings flood me, I go weak. He sweeps past me.
‘Joe, I know it might have been a bit, uh, awkward, but its ok, I’m here…’ He widens his arms to hug me, I fall into them, his warmth fills me.
We fall backwards, onto the sofa. Passionately kissing each other, he tares my top off, I gasp in shock. Yet we carry on – I’m not resisting. He pulls me into my bedroom by my hand gently, I lust after him – Wow, this feels so good.
[Chapter 3]
There we lay, nothing separating us but the soft slender white sheets. He looks so cute, tossing so gently in his dream. This time I do not run, I hold him in my arms, I kiss his lips so softly. He moves slightly, he groans. I lift the sheets, I see his bare body, so perfect. I can’t resist it any longer - my hand moves down his body, low, I touch him, I jar away, should I be doing this? Would he want this? His eyes opened. ‘What are you doing?’ He murmured.
‘Nothing’ I replied, but he saw my hand. He looked at me, smiled and looked down, he slightly nodded, as if for me to start. So I did, my hand caressed him, it felt so good.
After a while, I got up, and casually asked what he wanted for breakfast. I was happy, a smile played on my face, and I knew this was right.
[Chapter 4]
We walked out of the door, a cold wind brushed against our faces. Our hands linked, I smiled at him, that’s all I could do when I was with him. We walked past a large tree, leaves crowded the floor beneath it. I bent down and grabbed a bunch, and threw them playfully at him.
‘Hey! That tickles’ Exclaimed Kai, as he innocently giggled. He launched a pile of leaves at me. I grabbed his waist, and we twirled as the leaves flew around us, I felt so blissful. Suddenly, I fell to floor as he pounced on me, I giggled, he kissed me softly on my lips, I jarred away, I wasn’t ready to kiss in public. He looked upset, his puppy dog eyes looking at me.
‘F*ck it’ I say to myself, I lean towards him. A smile plays across his face, and I feel warm. This is meant to be.
People look, like we are freaks. I raise my hand, and show them what I feel towards them. They soon look away. I can’t tell any of my friends, they won’t understand.
I’ve found a new me, and it seems right. I’ve got to go meet my friends, how are me and Kai supposed to act like we’re not in love…
We sit on the park bench, all 4 of us. Me, Kai, Jason and Sam, or Samantha, whatever you want to call her. There is a dead silence, I have to break it.
‘Me and Kai have something to tell you!’ I blurt out, I cover my mouth with my hand. What did I just do?! Everyone stared at me, Kai looked kind of guilty, and looked down and the played his feet over the floor.
‘Kai?’ Said Jason.
‘Joe?’ Said Sam. They looked at each other. Me and Kai linked hands, we moved closer together.
‘We’re together…’ We both said, clenching each other’s hands. Sam and Jason, looked shocked, they turned away.
I growled loudly ‘I KNEW YOU WUDN’T UNDERSTAND! F*CK U BOTH!’ I screamed at the top of my voice. Kai raced after me, he grabbed my arm.
‘I’m here for you, remember that, I love you.’ He said, the three words I had lust for came from his mouth. I looked at him, and grabbed him, hugged him so hard.
‘I love you too!’ I shouted, so excited. It meant so much. What had started as a one night stand, had turned into love…
[Chapter 5]
That night, I lay there, playing my fingers over the sheets where he had slept – wishing he was here. Maybe he could move in, the bed was small, but we had managed to share it for a few nights now.
His face, a picture in my mind, so beautiful. I wonder if he was thinking about me, about us. The window started to rattle, as rain shot down from the dark sky, yet in my mind, it was still sunny.
I still had a feeling what I was doing was wrong. I loved him so much, but yet he was a guy. It played through my head every minute. I’m scared, so scared, but I feel so happy. Mixed emotions stir inside my head, I can’t stop thinking about it.
I get up, I’m so tired, I want to sleep, but I can’t stand the bad thoughts. I grasp the cold cupboard handle, open it, and grab some soup.
I stir it in my cup, over and over, just stirring it, I haven’t even tasted it yet. I just keep on stirring. I breathe slowly, yet I know I’m angry, I clench the soup and launch it towards the mirror. SMASH, glass crashed to the floor.
I’m confused, I don’t know what to feel. Should I love Kai, or should I not…
[Chapter 6]
I drum my fingers on the table, Kai said he would be here at 7, it’s now 10. ‘Tick,Tock,Tick,Tock’ the clock silently breathes.
The door swings open, there stands Kai. I observe him, his shirt is untidy, his laces undone. So unlike him. Then I see it, the lip gloss stain, my eyes burn with embarrassment.
He walks in casually, and says ‘You ok?’. My eyes well up with tears, I stand up, and push the chair away slowly. I turn around, my hand flies into his face. I gasp, what have I just done!
I see the fire lighting up in his eyes. He knows that I know. But he doesn’t care, I feel so stupid.
‘You want a cup of tea?’ He says without the slightest bit of compassion.
‘Sure’ I weep and regain sense. I slump into my seat. He comes behind me, and rubs my back. He gives me a don’t-look-at-me-like-I’ve-done-something-wrong face. He slowly kisses my neck, I’m too shocked to move.
I love him so much, what should I do? I abruptly stand up, and look at him, dead in the eyes. Rage taking over my body. I am shaking with anger.
‘How could you? Look! You’ve got lipgloss on you’re shirt!’ I shout, I start to break down. This can’t be happening, it was all so perfect. What wasn’t I giving him?
‘Answer me, please, just say something…’ I cry.
‘I didn’t cheat on you…’ He says shaking – I cut him off.
‘What?’ I say curiously.
‘I was…was…was raped’ He looks down, and bursts into tears. I open my arms and wrap them around him. How could I have been so stupid? He doesn’t move, just cries. And the clock carries on ticking. Tick, tock, tick, tock…
[Chapter 7]
Although the thunder roared through the endless sky, all I could here was his tears. This slight splash, again and again. He wouldn’t sleep in my bed, but I wasn’t going to let him off that easy. I climbed gently into his bed, and lay beside him. I just cuddled him, let him feel my warmth.
‘I love you’ He said through the hundreds of tears that had fell from his now red eyes. These magical words once again made me so happy. I repeated them softly to him, he turned around and just hugged me so hard and slowly dosed off.
I was starting to realise how special this really was. It had seemed forever, like we had been together forever, yet it had been less than a week.
Morning came, and he was already up, dressed, but mascara stains under his eyes. I could see the pain he had endured last night. We had to go and see someone. He was motionless. Un-touched toast lay on the table, stone cold tea accompanying it.
I walked over to him, and pulled a chair out. I started to play with his hair, so soft. This could be the hardest time in our relationship, I have to stay strong, it’s only the beginning…
It was time to go shopping. I hate going food shopping. Well, it’s fun sometimes. I dragged Kai along. He kept on wining, he must think he’s 5! Anyway, we went to Asda, cheap prices my ****. It’s because they are bad quality. But atleast the have trolleys. We went to the toiletry isle, this is what makes food shopping fun. I pushed the trolley at full speed, so did Kai, we looked at eachother and started to giggle.
‘1,2,3… GOO’ We both said together. BANG, all the toilet roll fell to the floor. What had we done, that wasn’t supposed to happen. That was the end of that then…
We walked outside, the floor was white, a large frosty blanket. Suddenly, I was on the floor. Kai seemed to like punching on me, first in the leaves, not in the snow. Was this his new obsession?
[Chapter 8]
Kai had just popped down to the shops, seeing as we got kicked out ASDA. I had 5 minutes to make this place romantic. I rushed into the bathroom, ‘Candles, where are the blooming candles’ I thought to myself.
The door swung open, Kai stood there, he looked so awesome. His face was a picture, so shocked. I could see him scanning the room, looking at the numerous candles, the dim light.
‘Oh baby!’ He cried and ran towards me and launched his arms around me. I moved my hands down his back, and lightly touched his bum. He leaned towards my lips, I lifted up a single finger, and said ‘Shhh’, I slightly grabbed his shirt, and leaded him into the bedroom. I had purposely made the bed more welcoming. He violently ripped my clothes off, I did the same. His lips pursed against my skin, he started at my neck, it felt so good. he went lower, occasionally looking up and smiling at me, getting so low, me getting so excited, as I did the last time – the first time. His tongue gently caressing my lower body. It seemed like it had lasted for hours, yet it had only been minutes, sounds of excitement filled the nights cold breeze…
I woke up in his arms, I moved towards his mouth, and stayed still, I could feel his warm breath playing on my skin. I leaned towards his ear.
‘I love you’ I whispered, I gently moved his arm from around my waist, and got up. We desperately needed food, I popped out and went down Asda, once again. On the way home, I met up with AJ, I don’t really like him much. But, I walked home with him anyway.
I felt something touch my hand, I looked down slowly, then looked up at AJ, he smiled at me. Anger burned inside of me, I grabbed his shirt and threw him against the wall, ‘If you ever even touch me again, you’ll know about it. Trust me!’
I ran home, scared of what had just happened. I rifled through my pockets, still clenching my shopping bag, ‘Where the f*ck are my keys!’ I shouted out aloud. Perfect, I had forgotten my keys and AJ had tried to hold my hand. I started banging violently on the door, again and again. No answer, I sat down and waited. Hours passed and finally, Kai came rushing down the street.
‘Oh my god babe! Where did you go?’ Kai shouted.
‘Down to Asda, we needed food remember!’ I replied in a sarcastic way.
‘I was worried sick! Did you forget keys as well? Don’t worry, I’m here now’ Kai said as he panted from running around town trying to find me.
I know I seem to keep saying it, but I love him so much, he just won’t stop running through my mind…
[Chapter 9]
It’s been a week, since Kai got attacked, and he seems to be acted rather happy – me, I’m bored. I managed to get a job, boring I know, delivering pizzas! The uniform wasn’t pink, which was disappointing, but I’ll live.
I tucked my hands into my pocket – they where dead cold, I could hardly move them. I walked down the frosty streets, and finally got the to apartment. The lights were off, but Kai was supposed to be in?
I turned the key in the near-to-be frozen lock, and opened the door. Everything was on the floor, maybe we had been burgled?
I edged through the living room, then through to the bedroom. I lent over and turned the light on.
‘SH*T’ Kai cried. As he gasped and pulled the covers from his head. There was someone in there with him.
What would I do…?
I took a closer look, I fell backwards in surprise, there lay my brother, next to Kai. I stumbled, I ran as fast as I could, I fell to the floor as I ran, tears running down my –now- red face…
[Chapter 10]
That night I could I have killed myself, but I didn’t, I dwelled in my own sorrowful nightmare. I wanted to go back to Kai, and hug him, but I knew that was stupid. I’m holding onto something that’s already dead…
I walked into the cemetery on the way home, and wished I was in one of those graves, it would be easier, wouldn’t it?
I bent down and picked up a rose, the thorns were sharp, I *****ed my finger, as the rain hit my face, the blood fell down my hand. I carried on walking, the rain caressing my face with a gentle wetness, I wanted it to wash away my fears.
I went back to the apartment, Kai was standing at the door, smoking a cigarette. The smoke floating off into the sky. He gently smiled at me, he looked so guilty. I pushed him out of the way, and slammed the door shut. I could hear him banging the door, but I turned the music up loud.
I pulled a sharp knife from the draw, I played it on my skin, gently rubbing it back and forth, deciding my fate. I started rubbing it harder, leaving tiny marks, back and forth. My wrist started to paint red over my skin.
I dropped it, and screamed.
‘Why?’ I shouted from my crimson tears of pain. ‘Why me?’
Kai was still banging, but I ignored him. Did he want me to do this? Did he want me to die?
I sliced to violently at my arm, not my wrist this time, I just wanted to feel pain, it’s what he wanted!
‘F*CK’ I screamed, and fell to the floor, painting a imperfect picture on the now red floor…
[Chapter 11]
My eyes open, the light blinding my eyes.
‘Is he going to make it?’ I heard Kai say curiously.
‘I don’t know, he is loosing lots of blood.’ Someone replied urgently. I hope I don’t, and I can’t believe Kai is here, he’s hurt me enough.
‘Can I um, kiss him?’ Kai asks the nurse, I jar my head to the side, I don’t want him to even touch me.
‘Yes, you can.’ She replied, sh*t why did she have to go and do that. I feel dirty, I actually slept with him, and then he slept with my brother. My dinner threw itself onto the hospital floor. I pretended to be awake for a while, whilst they mopped up my dinner.
Kai sat down next to me, he thought I was asleep, he pressed his lips on my ear and whispered.
‘I have something to tell you, this may sound stupid, but I wasn’t raped, I was with you’re brother. I thought I could get out of it, I know you may not hear me say but, sorry.’
‘You should be more than f*cking sorry!’ I muttered under my breath…
[Chapter 12]
Days had past, and I still felt sick inside. Yet I had decided my destiny, and Kai’s. I pretended like it was all right, like I hadn’t heard his truth. I was in a whirlwind, and there was only one way out, yet I don’t know if I should. All these ideas flowing through my head.
I sat there waiting, such a simple thing clenched in my hand, a knife. The door swung open, Kai stood there, I slowly walked over to him, as he closed the door, I started to kiss him, with one hand behind my back at all times. I had t have him one last time. I finally stopped. I quickly moved and showed him the knife.
‘Joe, put it down, just put it down’ He was trying to get put of it.
‘How about n-o’ I replied, normally, like nothing was wrong.
I pressed the knife to his neck, I didn’t harm him, I don’t know If I should.
‘O well Kai, this was always such a harmful relationship…’
If it needs to be removed, then i'll remove it okies.
[Chapter 1]
I look into his endless gaze, I look down – I’m scared. Your cold hands caress my waist. I feel warm inside. Your soft lips touch my neck, you lift them off slowly, I gently smile at you – I know this is wrong, but it feels so right. Your eyes say so much – yet you say nothing. I lean towards you, and tenderly touch your lips, you reply, it means so much. It feels like forever, I don’t want it to stop. You yet again, lift your lips away, you breath in the sweet air.
A tear drops from my eye, this isn’t right. I seize the duvet and throw it into the air, he gasps. I scan the room with my tearful eyes, my clothes are not there. I dodge around the room urgently, he watches me in shock. I jump abruptly over the bed, there lay my clothes, *****ed up, on the floor. Flashbacks from the previous night fill my head, secret excitement rushes through my body, yet I am angry.
I grab them, and scramble to the other side of the room, tears fall to the floor. Splash, Splash, tears hit the floor, I yank my trousers on, so uncomfortable, but I need to get out of this, it’s not right.
I slam the door, I lean against it and breathe slowly, I sink to the floor, and I here weeping from inside the door. ‘But it wasn’t right’ I think to myself ‘I did the right thing, didn’t I?’
[Chapter 2]
I sink into my sofa, the cold runs through my body, I don’t move, just think. I love him, well at least I think I do, but no, I can’t, how can I, he’s a guy, and so am I. I think about him, and I go hard, my face goes red. I push it down, no this can’t be happening!
I get angry, my heart goes on fire. ‘F*CK!’ I pick up the lamp beside me, the plug rips out of the plughole, sparks fly as the lamp collides into the wall. Why am I feeling this?
I look in the mirror, I stare, helplessly. I look away – ashamed of these feelings. The doorbell rings. Who is it? I question myself inquisitively. I open the door slowly, it’s him, Kai.
‘Joe!’ I hear him shout, as he violently bangs the door. I grasp the cold brass door****, I turn it slowly, I see his face as I open it. So sweet, so angelic. I want to caress him. Sensational feelings flood me, I go weak. He sweeps past me.
‘Joe, I know it might have been a bit, uh, awkward, but its ok, I’m here…’ He widens his arms to hug me, I fall into them, his warmth fills me.
We fall backwards, onto the sofa. Passionately kissing each other, he tares my top off, I gasp in shock. Yet we carry on – I’m not resisting. He pulls me into my bedroom by my hand gently, I lust after him – Wow, this feels so good.
[Chapter 3]
There we lay, nothing separating us but the soft slender white sheets. He looks so cute, tossing so gently in his dream. This time I do not run, I hold him in my arms, I kiss his lips so softly. He moves slightly, he groans. I lift the sheets, I see his bare body, so perfect. I can’t resist it any longer - my hand moves down his body, low, I touch him, I jar away, should I be doing this? Would he want this? His eyes opened. ‘What are you doing?’ He murmured.
‘Nothing’ I replied, but he saw my hand. He looked at me, smiled and looked down, he slightly nodded, as if for me to start. So I did, my hand caressed him, it felt so good.
After a while, I got up, and casually asked what he wanted for breakfast. I was happy, a smile played on my face, and I knew this was right.
[Chapter 4]
We walked out of the door, a cold wind brushed against our faces. Our hands linked, I smiled at him, that’s all I could do when I was with him. We walked past a large tree, leaves crowded the floor beneath it. I bent down and grabbed a bunch, and threw them playfully at him.
‘Hey! That tickles’ Exclaimed Kai, as he innocently giggled. He launched a pile of leaves at me. I grabbed his waist, and we twirled as the leaves flew around us, I felt so blissful. Suddenly, I fell to floor as he pounced on me, I giggled, he kissed me softly on my lips, I jarred away, I wasn’t ready to kiss in public. He looked upset, his puppy dog eyes looking at me.
‘F*ck it’ I say to myself, I lean towards him. A smile plays across his face, and I feel warm. This is meant to be.
People look, like we are freaks. I raise my hand, and show them what I feel towards them. They soon look away. I can’t tell any of my friends, they won’t understand.
I’ve found a new me, and it seems right. I’ve got to go meet my friends, how are me and Kai supposed to act like we’re not in love…
We sit on the park bench, all 4 of us. Me, Kai, Jason and Sam, or Samantha, whatever you want to call her. There is a dead silence, I have to break it.
‘Me and Kai have something to tell you!’ I blurt out, I cover my mouth with my hand. What did I just do?! Everyone stared at me, Kai looked kind of guilty, and looked down and the played his feet over the floor.
‘Kai?’ Said Jason.
‘Joe?’ Said Sam. They looked at each other. Me and Kai linked hands, we moved closer together.
‘We’re together…’ We both said, clenching each other’s hands. Sam and Jason, looked shocked, they turned away.
I growled loudly ‘I KNEW YOU WUDN’T UNDERSTAND! F*CK U BOTH!’ I screamed at the top of my voice. Kai raced after me, he grabbed my arm.
‘I’m here for you, remember that, I love you.’ He said, the three words I had lust for came from his mouth. I looked at him, and grabbed him, hugged him so hard.
‘I love you too!’ I shouted, so excited. It meant so much. What had started as a one night stand, had turned into love…
[Chapter 5]
That night, I lay there, playing my fingers over the sheets where he had slept – wishing he was here. Maybe he could move in, the bed was small, but we had managed to share it for a few nights now.
His face, a picture in my mind, so beautiful. I wonder if he was thinking about me, about us. The window started to rattle, as rain shot down from the dark sky, yet in my mind, it was still sunny.
I still had a feeling what I was doing was wrong. I loved him so much, but yet he was a guy. It played through my head every minute. I’m scared, so scared, but I feel so happy. Mixed emotions stir inside my head, I can’t stop thinking about it.
I get up, I’m so tired, I want to sleep, but I can’t stand the bad thoughts. I grasp the cold cupboard handle, open it, and grab some soup.
I stir it in my cup, over and over, just stirring it, I haven’t even tasted it yet. I just keep on stirring. I breathe slowly, yet I know I’m angry, I clench the soup and launch it towards the mirror. SMASH, glass crashed to the floor.
I’m confused, I don’t know what to feel. Should I love Kai, or should I not…
[Chapter 6]
I drum my fingers on the table, Kai said he would be here at 7, it’s now 10. ‘Tick,Tock,Tick,Tock’ the clock silently breathes.
The door swings open, there stands Kai. I observe him, his shirt is untidy, his laces undone. So unlike him. Then I see it, the lip gloss stain, my eyes burn with embarrassment.
He walks in casually, and says ‘You ok?’. My eyes well up with tears, I stand up, and push the chair away slowly. I turn around, my hand flies into his face. I gasp, what have I just done!
I see the fire lighting up in his eyes. He knows that I know. But he doesn’t care, I feel so stupid.
‘You want a cup of tea?’ He says without the slightest bit of compassion.
‘Sure’ I weep and regain sense. I slump into my seat. He comes behind me, and rubs my back. He gives me a don’t-look-at-me-like-I’ve-done-something-wrong face. He slowly kisses my neck, I’m too shocked to move.
I love him so much, what should I do? I abruptly stand up, and look at him, dead in the eyes. Rage taking over my body. I am shaking with anger.
‘How could you? Look! You’ve got lipgloss on you’re shirt!’ I shout, I start to break down. This can’t be happening, it was all so perfect. What wasn’t I giving him?
‘Answer me, please, just say something…’ I cry.
‘I didn’t cheat on you…’ He says shaking – I cut him off.
‘What?’ I say curiously.
‘I was…was…was raped’ He looks down, and bursts into tears. I open my arms and wrap them around him. How could I have been so stupid? He doesn’t move, just cries. And the clock carries on ticking. Tick, tock, tick, tock…
[Chapter 7]
Although the thunder roared through the endless sky, all I could here was his tears. This slight splash, again and again. He wouldn’t sleep in my bed, but I wasn’t going to let him off that easy. I climbed gently into his bed, and lay beside him. I just cuddled him, let him feel my warmth.
‘I love you’ He said through the hundreds of tears that had fell from his now red eyes. These magical words once again made me so happy. I repeated them softly to him, he turned around and just hugged me so hard and slowly dosed off.
I was starting to realise how special this really was. It had seemed forever, like we had been together forever, yet it had been less than a week.
Morning came, and he was already up, dressed, but mascara stains under his eyes. I could see the pain he had endured last night. We had to go and see someone. He was motionless. Un-touched toast lay on the table, stone cold tea accompanying it.
I walked over to him, and pulled a chair out. I started to play with his hair, so soft. This could be the hardest time in our relationship, I have to stay strong, it’s only the beginning…
It was time to go shopping. I hate going food shopping. Well, it’s fun sometimes. I dragged Kai along. He kept on wining, he must think he’s 5! Anyway, we went to Asda, cheap prices my ****. It’s because they are bad quality. But atleast the have trolleys. We went to the toiletry isle, this is what makes food shopping fun. I pushed the trolley at full speed, so did Kai, we looked at eachother and started to giggle.
‘1,2,3… GOO’ We both said together. BANG, all the toilet roll fell to the floor. What had we done, that wasn’t supposed to happen. That was the end of that then…
We walked outside, the floor was white, a large frosty blanket. Suddenly, I was on the floor. Kai seemed to like punching on me, first in the leaves, not in the snow. Was this his new obsession?
[Chapter 8]
Kai had just popped down to the shops, seeing as we got kicked out ASDA. I had 5 minutes to make this place romantic. I rushed into the bathroom, ‘Candles, where are the blooming candles’ I thought to myself.
The door swung open, Kai stood there, he looked so awesome. His face was a picture, so shocked. I could see him scanning the room, looking at the numerous candles, the dim light.
‘Oh baby!’ He cried and ran towards me and launched his arms around me. I moved my hands down his back, and lightly touched his bum. He leaned towards my lips, I lifted up a single finger, and said ‘Shhh’, I slightly grabbed his shirt, and leaded him into the bedroom. I had purposely made the bed more welcoming. He violently ripped my clothes off, I did the same. His lips pursed against my skin, he started at my neck, it felt so good. he went lower, occasionally looking up and smiling at me, getting so low, me getting so excited, as I did the last time – the first time. His tongue gently caressing my lower body. It seemed like it had lasted for hours, yet it had only been minutes, sounds of excitement filled the nights cold breeze…
I woke up in his arms, I moved towards his mouth, and stayed still, I could feel his warm breath playing on my skin. I leaned towards his ear.
‘I love you’ I whispered, I gently moved his arm from around my waist, and got up. We desperately needed food, I popped out and went down Asda, once again. On the way home, I met up with AJ, I don’t really like him much. But, I walked home with him anyway.
I felt something touch my hand, I looked down slowly, then looked up at AJ, he smiled at me. Anger burned inside of me, I grabbed his shirt and threw him against the wall, ‘If you ever even touch me again, you’ll know about it. Trust me!’
I ran home, scared of what had just happened. I rifled through my pockets, still clenching my shopping bag, ‘Where the f*ck are my keys!’ I shouted out aloud. Perfect, I had forgotten my keys and AJ had tried to hold my hand. I started banging violently on the door, again and again. No answer, I sat down and waited. Hours passed and finally, Kai came rushing down the street.
‘Oh my god babe! Where did you go?’ Kai shouted.
‘Down to Asda, we needed food remember!’ I replied in a sarcastic way.
‘I was worried sick! Did you forget keys as well? Don’t worry, I’m here now’ Kai said as he panted from running around town trying to find me.
I know I seem to keep saying it, but I love him so much, he just won’t stop running through my mind…
[Chapter 9]
It’s been a week, since Kai got attacked, and he seems to be acted rather happy – me, I’m bored. I managed to get a job, boring I know, delivering pizzas! The uniform wasn’t pink, which was disappointing, but I’ll live.
I tucked my hands into my pocket – they where dead cold, I could hardly move them. I walked down the frosty streets, and finally got the to apartment. The lights were off, but Kai was supposed to be in?
I turned the key in the near-to-be frozen lock, and opened the door. Everything was on the floor, maybe we had been burgled?
I edged through the living room, then through to the bedroom. I lent over and turned the light on.
‘SH*T’ Kai cried. As he gasped and pulled the covers from his head. There was someone in there with him.
What would I do…?
I took a closer look, I fell backwards in surprise, there lay my brother, next to Kai. I stumbled, I ran as fast as I could, I fell to the floor as I ran, tears running down my –now- red face…
[Chapter 10]
That night I could I have killed myself, but I didn’t, I dwelled in my own sorrowful nightmare. I wanted to go back to Kai, and hug him, but I knew that was stupid. I’m holding onto something that’s already dead…
I walked into the cemetery on the way home, and wished I was in one of those graves, it would be easier, wouldn’t it?
I bent down and picked up a rose, the thorns were sharp, I *****ed my finger, as the rain hit my face, the blood fell down my hand. I carried on walking, the rain caressing my face with a gentle wetness, I wanted it to wash away my fears.
I went back to the apartment, Kai was standing at the door, smoking a cigarette. The smoke floating off into the sky. He gently smiled at me, he looked so guilty. I pushed him out of the way, and slammed the door shut. I could hear him banging the door, but I turned the music up loud.
I pulled a sharp knife from the draw, I played it on my skin, gently rubbing it back and forth, deciding my fate. I started rubbing it harder, leaving tiny marks, back and forth. My wrist started to paint red over my skin.
I dropped it, and screamed.
‘Why?’ I shouted from my crimson tears of pain. ‘Why me?’
Kai was still banging, but I ignored him. Did he want me to do this? Did he want me to die?
I sliced to violently at my arm, not my wrist this time, I just wanted to feel pain, it’s what he wanted!
‘F*CK’ I screamed, and fell to the floor, painting a imperfect picture on the now red floor…
[Chapter 11]
My eyes open, the light blinding my eyes.
‘Is he going to make it?’ I heard Kai say curiously.
‘I don’t know, he is loosing lots of blood.’ Someone replied urgently. I hope I don’t, and I can’t believe Kai is here, he’s hurt me enough.
‘Can I um, kiss him?’ Kai asks the nurse, I jar my head to the side, I don’t want him to even touch me.
‘Yes, you can.’ She replied, sh*t why did she have to go and do that. I feel dirty, I actually slept with him, and then he slept with my brother. My dinner threw itself onto the hospital floor. I pretended to be awake for a while, whilst they mopped up my dinner.
Kai sat down next to me, he thought I was asleep, he pressed his lips on my ear and whispered.
‘I have something to tell you, this may sound stupid, but I wasn’t raped, I was with you’re brother. I thought I could get out of it, I know you may not hear me say but, sorry.’
‘You should be more than f*cking sorry!’ I muttered under my breath…
[Chapter 12]
Days had past, and I still felt sick inside. Yet I had decided my destiny, and Kai’s. I pretended like it was all right, like I hadn’t heard his truth. I was in a whirlwind, and there was only one way out, yet I don’t know if I should. All these ideas flowing through my head.
I sat there waiting, such a simple thing clenched in my hand, a knife. The door swung open, Kai stood there, I slowly walked over to him, as he closed the door, I started to kiss him, with one hand behind my back at all times. I had t have him one last time. I finally stopped. I quickly moved and showed him the knife.
‘Joe, put it down, just put it down’ He was trying to get put of it.
‘How about n-o’ I replied, normally, like nothing was wrong.
I pressed the knife to his neck, I didn’t harm him, I don’t know If I should.
‘O well Kai, this was always such a harmful relationship…’
If it needs to be removed, then i'll remove it okies.