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View Full Version : The Happiest Girl (Story) Chapter 1



!star--girl!
27-06-2005, 06:38 PM
Tell me what you think, and erm... i'm dutch :P

Lisz walked to school, her best friend Jessica was talking about all the boys she dumped,
It was irritating Lisz ‘SHUT UP!’ she screamed. Jessica was shocked and walked quietly further. Lisz was shocked to, she ran away. When she arrived at school, she ran as fast as she could, to the girls bathroom, she started crying. ‘Why am I so mean!’ she screamed.
A girl came in and walked out, Lisz stared at the girl, and the expression on her face…
Lisz looked in the mirror ‘They may think I am happy, but i’m totally not!’ she said to herself.
When she looked at her face in the mirror, she saw what she was: A beautiful girl with a bad life. She walked out of the girls bathroom to class.

‘BEEEEEEEP’ that was the bell, Lisz walked home alone, because of Jessica…
When she arrived home her mother came to her ‘Robin called’ she said ‘So what?’ was the answer. ‘I thought he was your boyfriend?’ said her mother ‘Yes, he is, but what’s so exiting about that he called?’. ‘He wants to ask you something’ her mother said ‘Hmm… okay, I’ll call him…’ was the answer.
When she pressed the numbers she thought about her relationship with Robin, what will he ask? ‘Hello? Who is this?’ said a boy on the other side of the telephone. ‘Hey! It’s me, Lisz’
‘Ooh, hey’ he said ‘what did you want to ask?’ Lisz asked. ‘Do you want to go with me to France? My dad bought to much tickets...’ he said ‘Robin, I know your dad isn’t so stupid, I bet you just wanted me to go with you’ was the answer of Liz. ‘That’s right’ Robin said.
‘Haha, okay, I will go with you, I must hang up now, bye! Kisses’

Chapter 2

She was happy, and scared, alone without parents to france?!
She knew she had to think about her whole life!
A few days later she was going crazy, she screamed to everyone, she was sad,
Her mother couldn’t take it anymore. ‘I’m sending you to a psychopath!’ her mother screamed. ‘WHAT!?’ was the answer. ‘Your getting crazy Lisz!’ it was quietly after her mother said that ‘A-And your not going to France with Robin anymore!’ she said.
Lisz started to cry, the best thing that could save her relationship with Robin was gone…
She screamed… not words but just… ‘AAAAAH’ she ran to her room and saw the sparkling pieces of her broken glass, she raised her hand and moved to the glass, she took a piece and moved it to her wrist then she screamed again and threw it out of her window.
What was she thinking? Killing herself? She couldn’t do that! Her mother was right, she WAS crazy…

Chapter 3

It was the next day already, now she had to tell it to Robin, she had to tell about the ‘I-can’t-go-to-France-with-you-because..’ thing. She walked to school and saw Robin, sitting on a bench with he’s friends. She walked to him slowly… ‘Can I talk to you for a minute?’ she said, with tears in her eyes. ‘Sure’ he said. They walked away from all the others. ‘What is it?’ He asked. ‘Erm… i-i-i can’t go with you to France!’ she said while crying. Robin was shocked, and he didn’t understand it right. He raised he’s voice and screamed: ‘WHAT!? Oh I understand it, it’s because of Tim, isn’t it?’ Lisz stared at him, in shock. ‘What do you mean? Tim and I are just friends…’ Lisz said. ‘Tim loves you! Don’t you know that?’ He walked away. Lisz started crying, then Jessica came her way. ‘J-Jessica?’ Lisz looked a bit happy and a bit sad. ‘Lisz, are you ok?’ Jessica asked. ‘Yea… I think…’ Lisz hugged Jessica and started crying again. ‘It’s OK Lisz, it’s OK’ Jessica stared to the hills 2 miles away from their city…

Chapter 4
It was Friday, the day Lisz would go to the psychopath, she walked to school, with Jessica.
‘So… is your relationship with Robin… you know…?’ Jessica asked. ‘I think… but… Tim is just a friend, and you know that!’ Lisz said. ‘Err.. yea…’ Jessica answered.
‘Jessica… do you need to tell me something?’ Lisz stared at Jessica’s face ‘Err, yes… Lisz, I love Tim…’ Jessica said with a serious voice. ‘Wow… err?’ Lisz was confused… everything was going to fast. ‘I’m going to tell Tim…’ Jessica said. ‘Are you sure?’ Lisz asked.
‘Yes I am!’ Jessica said and she walked to Tim. ‘Err… hi Tim’ she said. ‘Hey Jessica!’ Tim answered. ‘Err… Tim, I think… no… I must say … no… I LOVE YOU!’ Jessica screamed.

Yayse
27-06-2005, 06:52 PM
um its ok, it just sorta stops in the middle of nowhere, lol ^-^ few spelling mistakes 7/10

!star--girl!
27-06-2005, 06:53 PM
That's because it's chapter one :)

Yayse
27-06-2005, 06:55 PM
right, well couldn't the chap b a wee bit longer? i was only just getting into it, lol

!star--girl!
27-06-2005, 06:56 PM
lol, i will add more soon :)

!star--girl!
27-06-2005, 07:14 PM
New part!

She was happy, and scared, alone without parents to france?!
She knew she had to think about her whole life!
A few days later she was going crazy, she screamed to everyone, she was sad,
Her mother couldn’t take it anymore. ‘I’m sending you to a psychopath!’ her mother screamed. ‘WHAT!?’ was the answer. ‘Your getting crazy Lisz!’ it was quietly after her mother said that ‘A-And your not going to France with Robin anymore!’ she said.
Lisz started to cry, the best thing that could save her relationship with Robin was gone…
She screamed… not words but just… ‘AAAAAH’ she ran to her room and saw the sparkling pieces of her broken glass, she raised her hand and moved to the glass, she took a piece and moved it to her wrist then she screamed again and threw it out of her window.
What was she thinking? Killing herself? She couldn’t do that! Her mother was right, she WAS crazy…

Edited by Lukeisok (Forum Moderator): Please don’t double post, simply edit your previous post.

Georgia
29-06-2005, 07:29 PM
I like it! :)
Keep it up

!star--girl!
30-06-2005, 10:34 AM
thanks :)

Yayse
30-06-2005, 05:02 PM
its not my sort of story, but it seems ok ^-^ few grammar and spelling mistakes, but thats all! is there going to be more to it? 8/10

!star--girl!
30-06-2005, 05:06 PM
yea, there will be more, sorry about the spelling mistakes... i'm dutch :P

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