Poetry

[Misawa]

Well, I just opened up a blog, which you can check out in my signature. I decided to add a poem that I wrote some time ago on a rainy weekend as my second post, after my first was somewhat a string of dribble.

Thought I'd post it here before I start work, and I'm sure only a handful will understand it.


Floating in a hot bath
The ivy on my skin wilting in the steam
As my eyes fall shut
Visions of distress, joy and injustice
Hands held high in a darkening field
I paid my taxes last month
And will again this month
But still you send me words as empty calories
And malnourished bodies pack coffin ships
And stumble across the step
And end up in flat green fields
Too far from home
Yes, I am angry.



Take care.

[Cypher-]

It reminded me right away of a poor irish traveller? Or someone being evicted? Can I ask where or what significance is held in the line *The Ivy on my skin* That puzzled me. I like it a bit though so +rep :)

[Misawa]

It's metaphoric for Ireland..

Thanks.

[Loqo]

Nice work Misawa. :)

[Misawa]

Thanks.

[tdi]

average

[Misawa]

Thanks for your unintellectual and negatively-motivated ingenuine post.

[tdi]

Thanks for your unintellectual and negatively-motivated ingenuine post.
no problem, thanks for your sarcastiaclly written "i'm so full of myself" reply.

[Misawa]

I apologise for being able to write.

[tdi]

I apologise for being able to write.
lol, why don't you just rep me under a fake name again?

[ScreamingRage01]

Amazing work dude.
tfi don't be so damn rude.

[Misawa]

Thanks.

[tdi]

Thanks.
lol at your ignorance. I see you completely ignored my post there!

[Wootzeh]

doesnt make sense sorry how do you send words as empty calories?

[luce]

Some nice work there i love poetry


doesnt make sense sorry how do you send words as empty calories?
Its a metaphore, i cba to explian but it's very well done

[Misawa]

Thanks.

I don't like to write in a simplistic style, I prefer to use devices such as metaphor to make my literature cryptic and bear a stronger meaning.

[tdi]

Thanks.

I don't like to write in a simplistic style, I prefer to use devices such as metaphor to make my literature cryptic and bear a stronger meaning.
once again you ignore my post!

[Misawa]

I choose to ignore what is not worth my while.

[le harry]

jerry jerry

[FlyingJesus]

It's so looooonelyyyyyyy round the fieeeeelds of Athenryyyyyyy

I tried not to like it but couldn't do so as a poet lol, only problem I have is the repetition of "and" at the start of almost a quarter of the lines. I don't know if that was intended in
And malnourished bodies pack coffin ships
And stumble across the step
And end up in flat green fields
For continuity or flow, which is a nice idea, but when used with "and" it does seem a little childish (refer to how a child talks of a day's events). Other than that, and even in spite of that, a good read.

ps: Australia is rubbish

[Daphne,]

doesnt make sense sorry how do you send words as empty calories?
When does poetry ever make sense at first glance?[:
'tis a nice poem, keep it up

[Cypher-]

When does poetry ever make sense at first glance?[:
'tis a nice poem, keep it up

If that was true then Wilde and the boys would never have sold any of their literature.

[Misawa]

It's so looooonelyyyyyyy round the fieeeeelds of Athenryyyyyyy

I tried not to like it but couldn't do so as a poet lol, only problem I have is the repetition of "and" at the start of almost a quarter of the lines. I don't know if that was intended in
And malnourished bodies pack coffin ships
And stumble across the step
And end up in flat green fields
For continuity or flow, which is a nice idea, but when used with "and" it does seem a little childish (refer to how a child talks of a day's events). Other than that, and even in spite of that, a good read.

ps: Australia is rubbish

The use of 'And' is deliberate to convey the repetitious trudgery of the issues raised in the poem.