Log in

View Full Version : Child Abuse poem A MUST READ!



-x-Kerrianne-x-
01-07-2005, 02:50 PM
I honestly dont know what struck me to write this poem but I actually thought that this was quite upsetting. It came straight from the heart x
For those who are wondering, This is not based on a true story.


You could see it in her eyes,
Something was wrong deep inside,
The way she used to cry at night,
The way that she held on oh so tight.

She used to cry herself asleep,
For this memory just would keep,
She can remember the image of the man,
The way she escaped the best she can.

His words were 'I'll come back for you'
The girl sat there hoping this was untrue,
She locked the windows and the doors,
She told the police aswell, of-course.

She sat there and she waited,
For this man that she had hated,
She couldn't take it, just incase
The fear that she had in her face.

Then the newspapers they read,
Big bold letters: Young girl, Dead.
This poor girl was only eleven,
Now in a safer place called Heaven.

She was a victim of child abuse,
We need to put something into use.

lukeisok
01-07-2005, 04:05 PM
Excellent Poem!

10/10. + Rep.

I know a freind like that except the last verse.

=[

jinxii
01-07-2005, 04:29 PM
In poems, a verse is called a stanza.

I don't like the forced rhyme.

-=rooty987=-
01-07-2005, 08:39 PM
As jinxii said, the rhyme is too forced. I don't like it.
Love dan
xxx

ChloeDust
01-07-2005, 08:53 PM
I think the poem is brill, the words and all which you have used are good, it's moving ='[ 8/10+rep

=Sean...
03-07-2005, 07:45 AM
I don't get the ending. Did she decide to kill herself or was she killed by the abuser?

-x-Kerrianne-x-
03-07-2005, 10:06 AM
Thats up to you decide

howdy
03-07-2005, 11:36 AM
wow, so emotive.

Be proud x

BlueTails
03-07-2005, 04:51 PM
Great, Very Emotive :)

NOTTSPANTHER
03-07-2005, 04:53 PM
good poem 10-10 plus rep +

=Sean...
03-07-2005, 11:28 PM
Thats up to you decide
If she killed herself, she wouldn't be in heaven...

-x-Kerrianne-x-
04-07-2005, 03:52 PM
She was a nice person though

=Sean...
05-07-2005, 04:21 AM
She was a nice person though
Commiting suicide is a sin and since she can't get forgiveness for a sin if she's dead, she mustn't be in heaven.

Jinxxed
05-07-2005, 06:08 AM
Great Poem +rep
------------------




Commiting suicide is a sin....


^^ Who says it's a sin ?

=Sean...
05-07-2005, 06:23 AM
Great Poem +rep
------------------






^^ Who says it's a sin ?
The Bible

Want to hide these adverts? Register an account for free!