Log in

View Full Version : With A Gong Of A Grandfather Clock



sakura
12-11-2008, 07:04 PM
in english we had to write a horror story and well her's mine (i dont have microsoft word so i use wordpad no spell checker so i'd really apreceate it if somone could check it for me)


With A Gong Of A Grandfather Clock


The waves crashed upon the cliff where the laboratory lay. It was twilight. No birds were in the sky. The moon was bright, its bright light shone upon the metallic exterior of the labority. Shadows moved about in the windows, figures moving in all directions, All with one thing in common...they were running from the same spot. Noises of panic and terror could be heard from open windows , A group of shadows ran togeather into the same room. On the door the wors "Experement Number 1 :Demon Project" could be read. A man's screaming could be heard from the room. After that. All was Silent.
The arm twiched with what little life it had left in it. Lucy lay still , Tied and Chained to the platform. Her head turned to the guard. Her eyes burned blood red and limb by limb he tensed. In the blink of an eye the guard exploded painting the walls with blood. The remaining guard stared at his old allys exploded body wide eyed.The guards body began to shake all over. Suddenly he heard a click. His attention turned back to lucy, who was free.
He grabbed his radio "Number one is free" he yelled his voice trembaling in fear as he knew he was about to die. Lucy floated down off the platform. As she floated past The guards limbs tenssed. One by one his limbs clicked. His arms and legs were ripped one by one from his body. Lucy smiled at the toture she was invoking on the guard. "Foolish Human" she said. she turned her back to the guard and like a vodo doll the guards head began to turn. His head dident stop untill his head was ripped off and a puddle of blood spread all over the floor.
Men ran thrugh the lab all trembleing in fear.
"Dont let her escape the lab" on man cryed
"Her Demon arms shoud reach up to two metres but remeber they extend at the sight of blood shed" Said the leader
Messages of warning were being spread thrugh the lab. The guards met with lucy in a intersection in the hallway. All was silent. Hearts seemed to stop. Footsteps could be heard from the hallways and a small womans voice could be heard in the distance "thats the last time i do overtime i cant even find a single person."
Eventually the woman came to the intersection. Her eyes widened. thoughts flew thrugh her head "did the experiment escape" before she could run to save herself her body was floating in the air. But at the same time she was lifted a guard shouted "FIRE" bullets flew straight at the woman her body swinging like a ragdoll. Her head began to turn like a corkscrue. Her body fell off from her head. Her head was looking straight at the guards wide eyed expressionless. Her head dropped and all the bullets stuck in her body began to rise. One by one they began to aim at the guards. All at the same time they flem thrugh the air and wen straight therugh the guards heads. The guards were dead. All with laying on the floor. Thier eyes wide open. Fear Seemed to have taken a home upon their faces.
Lucy had escaped the lab and was standing on the cliff. Her flowing red hair seemed to glisen in the breze. She looked truly peasfull and beautiful. "you only have one chance at this chiheo so do it well" said the leading guard chihero to himslef as he was aiming a gun at lucy. Without a Second thought he shot the bullet. Lucy knew it was coming but couldent stop it in time. She dogged and jumped towwards the cliff. Her foot slipped and she fell. She fell with the tide and out to sea.The sea almost instantally blackend and the sky turned to night.
"Daddy look"
"Huh what is it Akita"
"Look daddy look at her red hair"
"Akita i dont think she's moving"
"huh.......oh my god daddy save her"
"okay umm......let's take her home to get her better"
"Nyuu"
"Daddy she just talked"
"yeah okay lets take her home"
"Nyuu" Lucy wake with flowing long red hair and a terafied expression on her face as if she had just woken from a nightmare.
"Daddy She's Up!" shreaked a girl at the top of her lungs.
A tall pale scinned man walken into the room and his body seem to have a radience of light about him.
"Are you okay" he asked in a jently voice
"Nyuu?" Lucy said turning her head to the side
"ummm okay what's your name"
"Nyuu?" lucky sated directly at the man
"Daddy i think thats all she can say"
"shh be quiet akita , well for now i think we'll call you Nyuu is that okay"
"Nyuu!" Lucy nodded her head vigorously
"Akita you know the number for that lady that comes round every week to check on you"
"i dont no her number daddy"
"ok im gonna find the book for you"
The man got up and as he did Lucy grabbed onto his shirt "Nyuu" she cryed. Her eyes began to water "Nyuu Nyuu" she cryed , the man tryed to take her hands off him
"It's ok i'll only be a minute"
"Nyuu!"
One by one her tears fell down her face . Her breathing grew heavyer and her eyes widened.
"Daddy what's happening , is she dying?"
"Akita go to bed"
"Why!?"
"GO!"
"YOUR MEAN!"
Akita ran out of the room tears flowing down her face and into the air as shee brushed her cheek.
"I'll deal with her later" the ban said in a mellancholic voice
"Nyuu Nyuu Nyuu" Lucy was still lying on the bed her hevy breathing getting heavyer.
"Nyuu calm down its ok im here" he sais as he was putting his arms on Lucy to calm her down. The tears stopped and the heavy reathing stopped. Lucy looked at the man still with wide eyes. The man looked directly into them "Abosutly beautiful" he thougt to himslef.
"Nyuu?"
"Nyuu would you like to know my name?"
"NYUU!" Nyuu noded her head up and down faster than a speeding bullet.
"Ok my names's Zero Kaname"
"L-L-Lucy"
"Lucy is that your name"
"Nyuu!"
"Good so now that we know eachotehr why dont we go to bed"
"Nyuu!"
Zero stayed waching over lucy till she was fast asleep. Lucys long flowing red hair fell in contrast wit hthe blackness of the moonlit room.
Lucy had lived with zero for 2 weeks. Social serveces couldent figure out who she was. Lucy was cleaning a house to a young girls standards when that golden rimmed book on the bottom of the bile caught her eye. She got up from the floor where she was cleaning and reached out for the book. One arm grabbed it then another arm grabbed the other side. Lucy Pulled. THe books fell Like a sack of bricks onto her head.
"Remeber lauren find lucy and bring her to me" A well dressed man and a young girl with sholder lenth red hair and eyes as red as blood stood in a boat.
"Okay Farther but im gonna miss you buntches"
"It's okay youll return to me"
"Okay farther bye"
Lauren got out of the boat and stood an the beach and walked up the stairs. For the first time, She was alone.
Lucy passed the clock in the hallways. The Clock began to tick.
"Zero Im going out" said lucy in a flat voice. As soon as Zero heard lucy talk he rushed up from his seat and tryed to get her. But it was too late as she had already gone down the stairs and out of the front gate. Zero stood still at the door his eyes glued to the gate. Gong chimed the old grandfather clock in the hallway. Zero turned around in suprise and stared at the clock "Strange i always thought that was broken" he said to himself.
Lucy walked isolated thrugh the town. She moved swiftly between all the people. She walked around the church and into the grave yard.
" I knew you'd scence me I couldent Expect any less from the originall"
"Show yourself lauren" Lucy grunted
Lauren appeard in the distance. She walked towwards lucy. WHen she was 8 metres away she stopped.
"Father wants you to come home lucy"
"Why , so he can just run tests on me and creates half breeds like you"
"If your not goning to willingly come home i geuss im gonna have to force you"
Lucy saw the red aura of her demon arms . Lucy jumpped out of the way and threw her demon arms at Lauren. Her arms stoped and couldent reach Lauren
"How can you expect to eat me with sutch feeble arms"
Lucy ran at Lauren with all her will. She dogged every move Lauren threw at her. Lucy Enthrusted her arms at lauren. Larens limbs tenssed and her demon arms couldent move.
"Father you promised i'd return" Lauren said in her last breath.
One by one Laurens body parts exploded painting the srrounding graves with blood.
"heh foolish child" Lucy said to herself as she left the graveyard.
Lucy was walking thrugh the town knowing her direction. She was going ot the beach where she was found. "He'll be their" she thougth to herself "Father will be their".
"Lucy!" shouted Zero from the distance. She turned arround to look at Zero. Lucy fell to the floor and grabbed ehr head screaming
"She has awakned" she shouted to the sky then she was silent. She stopped screaming. She lay their. Zero Took her home and she slepped. She slepped for three weeks. Alone. Darkness.
"Heh she knows i have awakened"
A little girl with orange hair and pigtails with eyes as red as blood woke up from a slumber. She got out of her bed and floated down onto a weel chair. She rolled out of the room and staired the sientists streight in the faces
"Number 2 was killed its my turn now" as she said that her hair began to float and a wicked smile crawled across her face.
Lucy woke upin the middle of the night. "she's near" she said to herself. She got up and without looking back to check on Akita or Zero she left the house. The moment she did the old clock Gonged waking up Zero. He ran downstairs to find Lucy was gone and the clock had stopped working.
Lucy Arrived at the beach. The waves were crashing upon the shore and the moon lit up the metalic surfeses of the surrounding biludings. "I knew it was you" said lucy to a little girl in a weelchair on the otehr side of the beach "so i finally get to meet my last clone experiment number 3"
"Heh so your the infamous Lucy we finally meet too bad i have to kill you" A wicked grin fell onto the girls face purple arua came from her back , thoudans of demon arms all one by one coming out from the girl.
"Lucy its your turn to die"
In every direction possible teh arms went for lucy. Backflips Frontflis Side Jumps every possible manover to dodge the arms. Lucy got closer and closer to the weelchair , she was within reach to use her demon arms but befor she could one by one her limbs tensed and froze. Lucys was lifted into the air , thrown into the sea and never too be seen again. All was quiet. Their was blood stained sand from the battle.
"Father was that okay" A well dressed man with white hair came out of the shadows
"Well done Laura now you are my one and only"
The man picked up Laura and he carried her to where the boat was docked. He was about to put her down when one by one both his and her limbs tenssed and froze. Their heads twisted arround a full turn and rolled off into the sea. Their Bodies floated into the boat And the boat driffted off into the night. Lauren and father would foreter be togeather.
Zero and akita were sitting down to dinner when the bell went off with its usual ding don. Zeo opned to door and "Gong" went the old grandfather clock.

for some reason my paragraphs dont show on here and im too lazy to do it so please bare with that

Minstrels
12-11-2008, 07:10 PM
I would correct it but it would take to long.

velvet
12-11-2008, 09:47 PM
It's good, but as said above there's loads of errors in it.

Tbh.
13-11-2008, 02:14 AM
Now i know never to move to Kent in the future with spelling mistakes and grammatical errors like those.

J0SH
13-11-2008, 04:22 AM
If you used paragraphs I would have been able to read it.

MeRkAgE
13-11-2008, 07:36 AM
Don't really like that emo kinda writing.

RockyHorror
13-11-2008, 11:41 AM
The waves crashed upon the cliff where the laboratory lay. It was twilight. No birds were in the sky. The moon was bright, it’s bright light shone upon the metallic exterior of the laboratory. Shadows moved about in the windows, figures moving in all directions, all with one thing in common...they were running from the same spot. Noises of panic and terror could be heard from open windows, a group of shadows ran together into the same room. On the door a sign read "Experiment Number 1 - Demon Project" could be read. A man's screaming could be heard from the room. After that, all was Silent.
The arm twitched with what little life it had left in it. Lucy laid still, Tied and Chained to the platform. Her head turned to the guard. Her eyes burned blood red and limb by limb he tensed. In the blink of an eye the guard exploded painting the walls with blood. The remaining guard stared at his old allies exploded body wide eyed. The guard’s body began to shake all over. Suddenly he heard a click. His attention turned back to Lucy, who was free.
He grabbed his radio "Number one is free" he yelled his voice trembling in fear as he knew he was about to die. Lucy floated down off the platform. As she floated past the guards there limbs tensed. One by one his limbs clicked. His arms and legs were ripped one by one from his body. Lucy smiled at the torture she was invoking on the guard. "Foolish Human" she said. She turned her back to the guard and like a voodoo doll the guards head began to turn. His head didn’t stop until his head was ripped off and a puddle of blood spread all over the floor.
Men ran through the lab all trembling in fear.
"Don’t let her escape the lab" one man cried
"Her Demon arms should reach up to two metres but remember they extend at the sight of blood shed" Said the leader
Messages of warning were being spread through the lab. The guards met with Lucy in an intersection in the hallway. All was silent. Hearts seemed to stop. Footsteps could be heard from the hallways and a small woman’s voice could be heard in the distance "that’s the last time I do overtime I can’t even find a single person."
Eventually the woman came to the intersection. Her eyes widened. Thoughts flew through her head "did the experiment escape" before she could run to save herself her body was floating in the air. But at the same time she was lifted a guard shouted "FIRE" bullets flew straight at the woman her body swinging like a ragdoll. Her head began to turn like a corkscrew. Her body fell off from her head. Her head was looking straight at the guards wide eyed expressionless. Her head dropped and all the bullets stuck in her body began to rise. One by one they began to aim at the guards. All at the same time they flew through the air and went straight through the guard’s heads. The guards were all dead, lying on the floor, their eyes wide open. Fear seemed to have taken a home upon their faces.
Lucy had escaped the lab and was standing on the cliff. Her flowing red hair seemed to glisten in the breeze. She looked truly peaceful and beautiful. "You only have one chance at this Chiheo so do it well" said the leading guard to himself while aiming a gun at Lucy. Without a Second thought he shot the bullet. Lucy knew it was coming but couldn’t stop it in time. She dogged and jumped towards the cliff. Her foot slipped and she fell. She fell with the tide and out to sea. The sea almost instantly blackened and the sky turned to night.
"Daddy look"
"Huh what is it Akita"
"Look daddy look at her red hair"
"Akita I don’t think she's moving"
"huh.......oh my god daddy save her"
"okay umm......let's take her home to get her better"
"Nyuu"
"Daddy she just talked"
"yeah okay lets take her home"
"Nyuu" Lucy woke with her flowing long red hair and a terrified expression on her face as if she had just woken from a nightmare.
"Daddy She's Up!" shrieked a girl at the top of her lungs.
A tall pale skinny man walked into the room and his body seem to have a radiance of light about him.
"Are you okay" he asked in a gently voice
"Nyuu?" Lucy said turning her head to the side
"umm.. Okay what's your name"
"Nyuu?" lucky sated directly at the man
"Daddy I think that’s all she can say"
"shh.. Be quiet Akita, well for now I think we'll call you Nyuu is that okay"
"Nyuu!" Lucy nodded her head vigorously
"Akita you know the number for that lady that comes round every week to check on you"
"I don’t know her number daddy"
"ok I’m going to find the book for you"
The man got up and as he did Lucy grabbed onto his shirt "Nyuu" she cried. Her eyes began to water "Nyuu Nyuu" she cried, the man tried to take her hands off him
"It's ok I’ll only be a minute"
"Nyuu!"
One by one her tears fell down her face, her breathing grew heavier and her eyes widened.
"Daddy what's happening, is she dying?"
"Akita go to bed"
"Why!?"
"GO!"
"YOU’RE MEAN!"
Akita ran out of the room tears flowing down her face and into the air as she brushed her cheek.
"I'll deal with her later" the man said in a melancholic voice
"Nyuu Nyuu Nyuu" Lucy was still lying on the bed her grave breathing getting heavier.
"Nyuu calm down its ok I’m here" he says as he was putting his arms on Lucy to calm her down. The tears stopped and the heavy breathing dried. Lucy looked at the man still with wide eyes. The man looked directly into them "Absolutely beautiful" he thought to himself.
"Nyuu?"
"Nyuu would you like to know my name?"
"NYUU!" Nyuu nodded her head up and down faster than a speeding bullet.
"Ok my name’s Zero Kaname"
"L-L-Lucy"
"Lucy is that your name"
"Nyuu!"
"Good so now that we know each other why don’t we go to bed"
"Nyuu!"
Zero stayed watching over Lucy till she was in a deep slumber. Lucy’s long flowing red hair fell in contrast wit the blackness of the moonlit room.
Lucy had lived with zero for 2 weeks. Social services couldn’t figure out who she was. Lucy was cleaning a house to a young girl’s standard when that golden rimmed book on the bottom of the pile caught her eye. She got up from the floor where she was cleaning and reached out for the book. One arm grabbed it then another arm grabbed the other side. Lucy Pulled. The books fell like a sack of bricks onto her head.
"Remembers Lauren find Lucy and bring her to me" A well dressed man and a young girl with shoulder length red hair and eyes as red as blood stood in a boat.
"Okay Farther but I’m going to miss you bunches"
"It's okay you’ll return to me"
"Okay farther bye"
Lauren got out of the boat and stood an the beach and walked up the stairs. For the first time, she was alone.
Lucy passed the clock in the hallways. The Clock began to tick.
"Zero I’m going out" said Lucy in a flat voice. As soon as Zero heard Lucy talk he rushed up from his seat and tried to get her. But it was too late as she had already gone down the stairs and out of the front gate. Zero stood still at the door his eyes glued to the gate. Gong chimed the old grandfather clock in the hallway. Zero turned around in surprise and stared at the clock "Strange I always thought that was broken" he said to himself.
Lucy walked isolated through the town. She moved swiftly between all the people. She walked around the church and into the grave yard.
" I knew you'd scene me I couldn’t expect any less from the original"
"Show yourself Lauren" Lucy grunted
Lauren appeared in the distance. She walked towards Lucy. When she was 8 metres away she stopped.
"Father wants you to come home Lucy"
"Why, so he can just run tests on me and creates half breeds like you"
"If your not going to willingly come home I guess I’m going to have to force you"
Lucy saw the red aura of her demon arms. Lucy jumped out of the way and threw her demon arms at Lauren. Her arms stopped and couldn’t reach Lauren
"How can you expect to eat me with such feeble arms"
Lucy ran at Lauren with all her will. She dogged every move Lauren threw at her. Lucy trusted her arms at Lauren. Laurens limbs tensed and her demon arms couldn’t move.
"Father you promised I’d return" Lauren said in her last breath.
One by one Laurens body parts exploded painting the surrounding graves with blood.
"Ha-ha foolish child" Lucy said to herself as she left the graveyard.
Lucy was walking through the town knowing her direction. She was going to the beach where she was found. "He'll be their" she thought to herself "Father will be their".
"Lucy!" shouted Zero from the distance. She turned around to look at Zero. Lucy fell to the floor and grabbed her head screaming
"She has awakened" she shouted to the sky then she was silent. She stopped screaming. She lay their. Zero took her home and she slept. She slept for three whole weeks lying there Alone just the darkness to comfort her.
"He-he she knows I have awakened"
A little girl with orange hair and pigtails with eyes as red as blood woke up from a slumber. She got out of her bed and floated down onto a wheel chair. She rolled out of the room and stared at the scientists straight in there faces
"Number 2 was killed it’s my turn now" as she said that her hair began to float and a wicked smile crawled across her face.
Lucy woke up in the middle of the night. "She’s near" she said to herself. She got up and without looking back to check on Akita or Zero and left the house. The moment she did, the old clock Gonged again, waking up Zero. He ran downstairs to find Lucy was gone and the clock had stopped working.
Lucy arrived at the beach. The waves were crashing upon the shore and the moon lit up the metallic surfaces of the surrounding buildings. "I knew it was you" said Lucy to a little girl in a wheelchair on the other side of the beach "so I finally get to meet my last clone experiment number 3"
"He-he so your the infamous Lucy we finally meet, too bad I have to kill you" A wicked grin fell onto the girls face purple aura came from her back, thousands of demon arms all one by one coming out from the girl.
"Lucy it’s your turn to die"
In every direction possible the arms went for Lucy. Back flips Front flips Side Jumps every possible manoeuvre to dodge the arms. Lucy got closer and closer to the wheelchair, she was within reach to use her demon arms but before she could one by one her limbs tensed and froze. Lucy was lifted into the air, thrown into the sea and never too be seen again. All was quiet. There was blood stained sand left from the battle.
"Father was that okay" A well dressed man with white hair came out of the shadows
"Well done Laura now you are my one and only"
The man picked up Laura and he carried her to where the boat was docked. He was about to put her down when one by one both his and her limbs tensed and froze. Their heads twisted around a full turn and rolled off into the sea. Their Bodies floated into the boat, the boat drifting off into the night. Lauren and her father would forever be together.
Zero and Akita were sitting down to dinner when the bell went off with its usual ding don. Zero opened to door and "Gong" went the old grandfather clock.


-----------------------------

There you go, i've corrected all the spelling mistakes, and took it apon myself to add a few words here and there to make it flow better.

But I think you should re-read it, because I didn't want to change too much, so it's still a littler choppy, but it's an intresting story, well done.

Blinger1
13-11-2008, 11:55 AM
Also, get openoffice its a free alternative to microsoft word :D

Evescence
13-11-2008, 01:12 PM
Lucy trusted her arms at Lauren, lol

sakura
13-11-2008, 04:43 PM
Now i know never to move to Kent in the future with spelling mistakes and grammatical errors like those.


thats offensive ot lots of people not just me. i happen to have borderline dslexia. also english is not my first laguage

sakura
13-11-2008, 05:38 PM
sorry about the double post


Also, get openoffice its a free alternative to microsoft word :D

ohoh thankyouu ^^


The waves crashed upon the cliff where the laboratory lay. It was twilight. No birds were in the sky. The moon was bright, it’s bright light shone upon the metallic exterior of the laboratory. Shadows moved about in the windows, figures moving in all directions, all with one thing in common...they were running from the same spot. Noises of panic and terror could be heard from open windows, a group of shadows ran together into the same room. On the door a sign read "Experiment Number 1 - Demon Project" could be read. A man's screaming could be heard from the room. After that, all was Silent.
The arm twitched with what little life it had left in it. Lucy laid still, Tied and Chained to the platform. Her head turned to the guard. Her eyes burned blood red and limb by limb he tensed. In the blink of an eye the guard exploded painting the walls with blood. The remaining guard stared at his old allies exploded body wide eyed. The guard’s body began to shake all over. Suddenly he heard a click. His attention turned back to Lucy, who was free.
He grabbed his radio "Number one is free" he yelled his voice trembling in fear as he knew he was about to die. Lucy floated down off the platform. As she floated past the guards there limbs tensed. One by one his limbs clicked. His arms and legs were ripped one by one from his body. Lucy smiled at the torture she was invoking on the guard. "Foolish Human" she said. She turned her back to the guard and like a voodoo doll the guards head began to turn. His head didn’t stop until his head was ripped off and a puddle of blood spread all over the floor.
Men ran through the lab all trembling in fear.
"Don’t let her escape the lab" one man cried
"Her Demon arms should reach up to two metres but remember they extend at the sight of blood shed" Said the leader
Messages of warning were being spread through the lab. The guards met with Lucy in an intersection in the hallway. All was silent. Hearts seemed to stop. Footsteps could be heard from the hallways and a small woman’s voice could be heard in the distance "that’s the last time I do overtime I can’t even find a single person."
Eventually the woman came to the intersection. Her eyes widened. Thoughts flew through her head "did the experiment escape" before she could run to save herself her body was floating in the air. But at the same time she was lifted a guard shouted "FIRE" bullets flew straight at the woman her body swinging like a ragdoll. Her head began to turn like a corkscrew. Her body fell off from her head. Her head was looking straight at the guards wide eyed expressionless. Her head dropped and all the bullets stuck in her body began to rise. One by one they began to aim at the guards. All at the same time they flew through the air and went straight through the guard’s heads. The guards were all dead, lying on the floor, their eyes wide open. Fear seemed to have taken a home upon their faces.
Lucy had escaped the lab and was standing on the cliff. Her flowing red hair seemed to glisten in the breeze. She looked truly peaceful and beautiful. "You only have one chance at this Chiheo so do it well" said the leading guard to himself while aiming a gun at Lucy. Without a Second thought he shot the bullet. Lucy knew it was coming but couldn’t stop it in time. She dogged and jumped towards the cliff. Her foot slipped and she fell. She fell with the tide and out to sea. The sea almost instantly blackened and the sky turned to night.
"Daddy look"
"Huh what is it Akita"
"Look daddy look at her red hair"
"Akita I don’t think she's moving"
"huh.......oh my god daddy save her"
"okay umm......let's take her home to get her better"
"Nyuu"
"Daddy she just talked"
"yeah okay lets take her home"
"Nyuu" Lucy woke with her flowing long red hair and a terrified expression on her face as if she had just woken from a nightmare.
"Daddy She's Up!" shrieked a girl at the top of her lungs.
A tall pale skinny man walked into the room and his body seem to have a radiance of light about him.
"Are you okay" he asked in a gently voice
"Nyuu?" Lucy said turning her head to the side
"umm.. Okay what's your name"
"Nyuu?" lucky sated directly at the man
"Daddy I think that’s all she can say"
"shh.. Be quiet Akita, well for now I think we'll call you Nyuu is that okay"
"Nyuu!" Lucy nodded her head vigorously
"Akita you know the number for that lady that comes round every week to check on you"
"I don’t know her number daddy"
"ok I’m going to find the book for you"
The man got up and as he did Lucy grabbed onto his shirt "Nyuu" she cried. Her eyes began to water "Nyuu Nyuu" she cried, the man tried to take her hands off him
"It's ok I’ll only be a minute"
"Nyuu!"
One by one her tears fell down her face, her breathing grew heavier and her eyes widened.
"Daddy what's happening, is she dying?"
"Akita go to bed"
"Why!?"
"GO!"
"YOU’RE MEAN!"
Akita ran out of the room tears flowing down her face and into the air as she brushed her cheek.
"I'll deal with her later" the man said in a melancholic voice
"Nyuu Nyuu Nyuu" Lucy was still lying on the bed her grave breathing getting heavier.
"Nyuu calm down its ok I’m here" he says as he was putting his arms on Lucy to calm her down. The tears stopped and the heavy breathing dried. Lucy looked at the man still with wide eyes. The man looked directly into them "Absolutely beautiful" he thought to himself.
"Nyuu?"
"Nyuu would you like to know my name?"
"NYUU!" Nyuu nodded her head up and down faster than a speeding bullet.
"Ok my name’s Zero Kaname"
"L-L-Lucy"
"Lucy is that your name"
"Nyuu!"
"Good so now that we know each other why don’t we go to bed"
"Nyuu!"
Zero stayed watching over Lucy till she was in a deep slumber. Lucy’s long flowing red hair fell in contrast wit the blackness of the moonlit room.
Lucy had lived with zero for 2 weeks. Social services couldn’t figure out who she was. Lucy was cleaning a house to a young girl’s standard when that golden rimmed book on the bottom of the pile caught her eye. She got up from the floor where she was cleaning and reached out for the book. One arm grabbed it then another arm grabbed the other side. Lucy Pulled. The books fell like a sack of bricks onto her head.
"Remembers Lauren find Lucy and bring her to me" A well dressed man and a young girl with shoulder length red hair and eyes as red as blood stood in a boat.
"Okay Farther but I’m going to miss you bunches"
"It's okay you’ll return to me"
"Okay farther bye"
Lauren got out of the boat and stood an the beach and walked up the stairs. For the first time, she was alone.
Lucy passed the clock in the hallways. The Clock began to tick.
"Zero I’m going out" said Lucy in a flat voice. As soon as Zero heard Lucy talk he rushed up from his seat and tried to get her. But it was too late as she had already gone down the stairs and out of the front gate. Zero stood still at the door his eyes glued to the gate. Gong chimed the old grandfather clock in the hallway. Zero turned around in surprise and stared at the clock "Strange I always thought that was broken" he said to himself.
Lucy walked isolated through the town. She moved swiftly between all the people. She walked around the church and into the grave yard.
" I knew you'd scene me I couldn’t expect any less from the original"
"Show yourself Lauren" Lucy grunted
Lauren appeared in the distance. She walked towards Lucy. When she was 8 metres away she stopped.
"Father wants you to come home Lucy"
"Why, so he can just run tests on me and creates half breeds like you"
"If your not going to willingly come home I guess I’m going to have to force you"
Lucy saw the red aura of her demon arms. Lucy jumped out of the way and threw her demon arms at Lauren. Her arms stopped and couldn’t reach Lauren
"How can you expect to eat me with such feeble arms"
Lucy ran at Lauren with all her will. She dogged every move Lauren threw at her. Lucy trusted her arms at Lauren. Laurens limbs tensed and her demon arms couldn’t move.
"Father you promised I’d return" Lauren said in her last breath.
One by one Laurens body parts exploded painting the surrounding graves with blood.
"Ha-ha foolish child" Lucy said to herself as she left the graveyard.
Lucy was walking through the town knowing her direction. She was going to the beach where she was found. "He'll be their" she thought to herself "Father will be their".
"Lucy!" shouted Zero from the distance. She turned around to look at Zero. Lucy fell to the floor and grabbed her head screaming
"She has awakened" she shouted to the sky then she was silent. She stopped screaming. She lay their. Zero took her home and she slept. She slept for three whole weeks lying there Alone just the darkness to comfort her.
"He-he she knows I have awakened"
A little girl with orange hair and pigtails with eyes as red as blood woke up from a slumber. She got out of her bed and floated down onto a wheel chair. She rolled out of the room and stared at the scientists straight in there faces
"Number 2 was killed it’s my turn now" as she said that her hair began to float and a wicked smile crawled across her face.
Lucy woke up in the middle of the night. "She’s near" she said to herself. She got up and without looking back to check on Akita or Zero and left the house. The moment she did, the old clock Gonged again, waking up Zero. He ran downstairs to find Lucy was gone and the clock had stopped working.
Lucy arrived at the beach. The waves were crashing upon the shore and the moon lit up the metallic surfaces of the surrounding buildings. "I knew it was you" said Lucy to a little girl in a wheelchair on the other side of the beach "so I finally get to meet my last clone experiment number 3"
"He-he so your the infamous Lucy we finally meet, too bad I have to kill you" A wicked grin fell onto the girls face purple aura came from her back, thousands of demon arms all one by one coming out from the girl.
"Lucy it’s your turn to die"
In every direction possible the arms went for Lucy. Back flips Front flips Side Jumps every possible manoeuvre to dodge the arms. Lucy got closer and closer to the wheelchair, she was within reach to use her demon arms but before she could one by one her limbs tensed and froze. Lucy was lifted into the air, thrown into the sea and never too be seen again. All was quiet. There was blood stained sand left from the battle.
"Father was that okay" A well dressed man with white hair came out of the shadows
"Well done Laura now you are my one and only"
The man picked up Laura and he carried her to where the boat was docked. He was about to put her down when one by one both his and her limbs tensed and froze. Their heads twisted around a full turn and rolled off into the sea. Their Bodies floated into the boat, the boat drifting off into the night. Lauren and her father would forever be together.
Zero and Akita were sitting down to dinner when the bell went off with its usual ding don. Zero opened to door and "Gong" went the old grandfather clock.


-----------------------------

There you go, i've corrected all the spelling mistakes, and took it apon myself to add a few words here and there to make it flow better.

But I think you should re-read it, because I didn't want to change too much, so it's still a littler choppy, but it's an intresting story, well done.

thankyouuu ^^ i will pass for sure now!


Lucy trusted her arms at Lauren, lol

XD LMAOOO

Joe!
13-11-2008, 08:28 PM
Now i know never to move to Kent in the future with spelling mistakes and grammatical errors like those.

So by reading one piece of text, written by a student from Kent, you have determined that you shouldn't move there. What an interesting view on life you have.

Tbh.
15-11-2008, 11:24 AM
thats offensive ot lots of people not just me. i happen to have borderline dslexia. also english is not my first laguage
get over it
and lol i can tell its not your first language.


So by reading one piece of text, written by a student from Kent, you have determined that you shouldn't move there. What an interesting view on life you have.
i wasn't being serious
take a joke son.

.Zi
15-11-2008, 01:26 PM
Lets not turn this thread into an argument. Anyway well done, I didn't read it all but what I read was pretty good.

sakura
20-11-2008, 03:08 PM
get over it
and lol i can tell its not your first language.


i wasn't being serious
take a joke son.

its hard to tell a joke on the internet next time you should do somthing like putting -joke- on eitehr side of it


Lets not turn this thread into an argument. Anyway well done, I didn't read it all but what I read was pretty good.

thankyou ^^

Want to hide these adverts? Register an account for free!