Mum and dad argument! +REP!

[Javascrypt]

They have had a argument because we think my mum has a alcohol addiction.
She keeps going wierd every now and then, her eyes go wide, she starts falling over and she keeps asking things over and over. She cant remember anything during and after this. My dad reckons she is taking alcohol and its the effect that she is drunk. She has been in hospital twice and to counsiling
and to the doctors. They say that it is a alcohol addiction and when she goes 'wierd' its the body wanting alcohol and having a effect. Anyways, my dad starts shouting at her. I try to help, so he starts shouting at me. He then slams doors and cupboards. He goes upstairs on his computer. She then goes outside for a walk so he runs down and goes "WHERE IS SHE GOING!"
I reply with, "i have no idea". I let them sort it out themselves, so about 5 minutes later he comes down and shouts "Pack your bags, i want you out"
I am shocked by this as it would have a effect on me and my 5 year old sister.
Okay so 30 minutes later when he comes back down from his computer, she asks him "Do you really want me out?" he says no. Then i go upstairs onto the xbox and i hear them talking. I go back down, everything seemed fine but they werent talking to each other. So, it comes to bedtime and my dad goes to bed and my mum sleeps downstairs.

What i need to know is, how could i choose what parent to live with if they split up?
- I met my dad at the age of 5, i lived with my mum and auntie.
And also, Does anybody know why my mum could be going 'wierd' and if you can find something about it on the internet so i know more about it and what it is.
Ohhh, and alsooo! How can i get them to talk?

[Nixt]

Although arguments are not pleasant at the time, they are actually (in most cases) relationship strengthening. Sometimes arguing is easier than talking. If it comes to having to choose who you would like to live with then go for who you get along with most.

[Immenseman]

Nothing will be resolved until her drink problem is sorted. She needs to see a professional who will get to the root of her issue and hopefully resolve it. It's normal for parents to argue, my parents are divorced and they argued a lot before they split. You shouldn't be forced into making that decision.

[Moh]

Nothing will be resolved until her drink problem is sorted. She needs to see a professional who will get to the root of her issue and hopefully resolve it. It's normal for parents to argue, my parents are divorced and they argued a lot before they split. You shouldn't be forced into making that decision.
Sadly they don't take alcoholism as serious as any other illnesses.

Just to get professional help will most probably take about a year.

[Javascrypt]

Thanks guys, i will wait 48 hours and see what happens. Anyways! Good-Night!

[Immenseman]

Night mate, hope everything works out for you and your parents.

[J0SH]

Well if you live with your dad what's your mum gonna do? Turn to alcohol, plus you're probably at an age where you don't need a male figure anymore so it's best you stay with your mum and help her out etc :P I don't think they're splitting up though, your dad's only telling her for her own good because he cares but seems she doesn't wanna know about it. Good luck.

[5,5]

Get some money then give it to them to go to a nice restaraunt so they can have a nice time together.

[leah]

Nothing will be resolved until her drink problem is sorted. She needs to see a professional who will get to the root of her issue and hopefully resolve it. It's normal for parents to argue, my parents are divorced and they argued a lot before they split. You shouldn't be forced into making that decision.
I agree with what Jake said, while shes addicted to booze she isnt going to be herself which is probably very frustrating for your dad causing him to shout at her.

Sit them both down and tell them that their arguing is upsetting you and your sister, it may knock some sense into them.

[nicocee]

If they split up, go live with the one you love most. But I would really go live with my dad if my mum was really unstable to watch me.

[Lee]

Only you can decide who you would want to live with, who ever treats you best, and cares the most I'm guessing?

[Hecktix]

You need to talk to your mum (when she is sober & not acting weird) and your dad (when he is not angry) and try and help them resolve it. Clearly your dad can't handle stressful sitations, which isn't uncommon but what you've got to do is persuade your mum to get help for her alcoholism.

If you want, try and talk to your dad about how shouting at her will just make it worse, and tell him that what you need to do is to start monitoring the alcohol in the house and how quickly it is being consumed, if you have to do the parental trick and draw a line where the alcohol is in the bottle!!
Obv if the alcohol is decreasing rapidly she does have a problem, and needs to persue help.

[AJKHoosier1]

this guy can help out
http://www.stevewilkos.com/

[Cyndia]

Don't start jumping to conclusions and freaking yourself out. It really is normal for parents to argue and fight every once in a while - all relationships go through arguments, because things are never perfect when you're talking about two different people. They'll simply just never agree on absolutely everything. The only bonus to the fact that your mom is having alcohol issues is that it IS a fixable problem (as opposed to if your parents were arguing about something else, or if one of them had cheated or something). Your dad is just getting frustrated, and when people get upset they often say things they don't mean (like the 'get out!', i know my dad has said that to my mom and vice versa once or twice when they were arguing and got really angry). The important thing to do is just to find your mom some help. I was confused on one thing - were you saying that your mom is drunk all the time, or are you saying that her body is reacting weirdly when she ISNT drinking? If she's drunk all the time, you guys need to start monitoring her consumption like some others have said, and either make her go cold turkey and just stop her from having any alcohol at all, or else try to make her consume less and less each day till its down to a manageable amount that won't be causing problems for their marriage. She could try joining a support group (we have AA which is alcoholics anonymous here in the US that many alcoholics use), or try finding professional help. If its not her being an alcoholic, and its instead extreme withdrawal symptoms, it might be more serious. Ive never heard of anyone going through alcohol withdrawal, especially to the extent you described. I know people crave it and get depressed but I didn't know there were such physical effects. I would strongly suggest going to the doctor about this..

But yeah, so the bottom line is don't panic. Chances are your parents won't split up over something like this, especially if your mom can find help. And if they do, it's not the end of the world either. You can probably switch between living with them, though of course you'll have to live in once place for the majority of the year when you're in school. When you make that decision you can base it off of what school you might go to depending on where each parent lives, as well as you also need to take into consideration whether or not if you live with your mother, if she's capable of taking care of you if she stays as an alcoholic, as well as if she needs your help and whatnot. It'll be tough, but you'll still see both of them, and it'll work out in the end. But again, you don't need to worry about this yet, since your parents might not split up. The important thing is to find help for you mom, and that will solve pretty much all of the problem if she can kick her alcohol cravings.

[Jack.Lfc]

Give your mum a choice, the booze or you.

[Rixion]

Give your mum a choice, the booze or you.
Yeah an ultimatum - booze or you I agree :)

[Middlesbrough]

Give your mum a choice, the booze or you.


Yeah an ultimatum - booze or you I agree :)

Do you know how hard it is to come out of an alcohol addiction, its not that simple.

[Ali]

this must be hard on you, and for your parents too. try seeking a cousellor or something.

[Misawa]

If they split up and you're a minor, a court would force you to stay with your father if your mother was an alcoholic. Seek professional help, your mother needs it and so does your family by the sounds of it. Sit down with your dad and have a calm chat about your options and how you can help her without it coming confrontational.

[Hecktix]

Give your mum a choice, the booze or you.

Do you not wonder why so many drunks/junkies end up homeless?
'Cause their families give them the choice and they choose the drug over their family, they can't choose their family because the addiction is just too powerful.

Is the user of this thread actually going to reply because there is some really useful help within this thread? It's amazing how useful this forum can actually be...

Good luck whatever kid.

Addaction is a charity the police work closely with to rehabilitate people addicted to substances, however the charity also has a large branch of helping the people affected by those addicted...
http://www.addaction.org.uk/

Let us know how you get on (:

[Zak]

You are not alone, my father also has a bad drinking problem (eventhough yours is your mum:P). I'd live with whichever you like more and who treats you better. You can't really make your parents talk they have to do that job themselves..

[Sameer!]

Your decision. My parents are currently atm. :(

[MrGazet]

Try to get your mum's drinking problem resolved.Everyone in this house should help and support her throughout the whole process.Your dad is just frustrated of ur mum's addiction.You should sit down and talk to em letting you know how it feels.If this thing keeps going on,I'm afraid there could be a split up and u should choose the parent that would look after u best.Don't worry