My dad, kinda confused.

[Nemo]

Well im just writing this coz i just wanna say it someone just to try and make my feelings about it a little bit more clear.

So basically the background is that my mum n dad split up when i was like 2 years old and hes never lived with me that i can remember. He hasnt been a good dad at all, always disapearing, he had 2 other children after me and visited once or twice a year. So ive never really experienced having a dad, like many others havent either.

So anyway, recently hes lived in another country and kinda talked to my mum and sister a bit more. I dont really want to talk to him since hes been such a crap dad, hasnt even helped with money since my family aint really well off. So anyway, hes been talking to them about us visiting him in his new place and whatever, so im just thinking a free holiday okay great.

Then the other night my mum and me were talking to him on skype and it was like 4am where he was and he was just acting rly sad and being all nice to me and well, i was only really being nice because i want a holiday out of him, i dont really care about him since i havent ever felt like hes cared about me. Then im told by my mum that they might be considering try and get back together again. Im not really sure how i feel about this, and i still dont. I mean i kind of like him, hes never been a scary dad or anything but then the way that hes neglected my mum, sis and me for all these years, i dont know if i can just forgive him and be all nice with him again. Although my sis was really happy about this, but i just dont know im not sure.



Well after writing this im still not really sure, ah well.

[Firework]

i don't know how you feel as i have my dad everyday no offence.
i think its going to be hard to take him back after he has'ent had no contact or anythink to do with your for ages.
& he's probably just thinking oh it'll be ok im his dad he'll take me bk.
when i dont think its that easy for you is it?
i hope all goes ok anyway
which ever way enjoy your holiday!:)

[Bloodkanekiller]

Not sounding too love hearted, but your dad could buy you 900 holidays and I wouldnt care tbh unless he loves me and my mum and brother i'm happy.

Love is most important. Not the rewards.

[buttons]

you have a chance to see your dad more and some people never do so you should go for it but honestly your mum shouldn't have moved so quickly, when was the last time they seen each other? don't you think you should go out as a family before them deciding if they wanna get back together, you should just tell her not to get herself hurt and to think bout it before she makes a decision. It does kinda sound like he doesn't really know what he's doing and will leave you again because that's what happens but it's worth giving him a shot seeing as you don't care for him and won't really be that bothered if he buggers off again, probably annoyed but you'd get over it.

[Nemo]

Not sounding too love hearted, but your dad could buy you 900 holidays and I wouldnt care tbh unless he loves me and my mum and brother i'm happy.

Love is most important. Not the rewards.
I was only nice to really to see if we get a holiday, but once again its a promise he's not likely to keep.

you have a chance to see your dad more and some people never do so you should go for it but honestly your mum shouldn't have moved so quickly, when was the last time they seen each other? don't you think you should go out as a family before them deciding if they wanna get back together, you should just tell her not to get herself hurt and to think bout it before she makes a decision. It does kinda sound like he doesn't really know what he's doing and will leave you again because that's what happens but it's worth giving him a shot seeing as you don't care for him and won't really be that bothered if he buggers off again, probably annoyed but you'd get over it.
Yer i would have a chance to see him more, but do i really want to? Thats what im not sure about.

And i must have said it wrong since my mum doesnt want to completely get back together with him and living with him again like that, just like... see each other again and see how it goes.

[CJW93]

Be grateful he is making an effort. One of my friends Dad from what I heard is a complete **** and wants nothing to do with his family.

[Ali]

this sounds really tough on you.
i suggest asking your mum how she feels. if you already know you sister is keen then you know she will be happy for your parents. however, if your mum sounds really pleased about it then support her because if you show no support she may eventually drift apart from you and in times like these when you only have one close parent, you want them to be as close as possible.
also, as you havent seen your dad in a while consider that he may have changed and judge him as a new person - like a stranger - and not like the dad that you knew, the dad that ignored you, because this will allow your mind to forgive and forget.

:)

[Mathew]

My parents are still together and I really don't know what I'd do without either one, so first and foremost, sorry to you.

The thing is, at the end of the day he is your Dad. He is related to you. He is part of you, he made you. If it was me, I would feel like something was missing of me every-day.

While it may not be the best advice, I strongly suggest getting together with your mum and dad for a night (maybe go out for a meal together?) and discuss what's been going on and what you each want to do. Be patient, listen and simply discuss. If thinking him as your Dad doesn't work, just think of him as a new friend and a new beginning.

Best of luck to you.