View Full Version : Fostering
Swinkid
04-06-2009, 08:48 PM
Literly, A very close (To make streight, my girlfriend) friend of mine is getting Abused (not sexualy, as in hitting etc..) By parents, and if the worst comes to the worst may be put up to get fosterd.
My parents have agreed with me that we would foster her - but if the authorities do get involved, are we able to "Voulenteer" to foster her in paticular.
Reason being, i will never see her again if she gets fosterd by someone else, and i dont want that to happen.
Thread closed by invincible (Forum Moderator) due to being bumped.
kuzkasate
04-06-2009, 09:02 PM
Thats terrible. Hope all goes well for you.
Swinkid
04-06-2009, 09:08 PM
Thats terrible. Hope all goes well for you.
I hope so too - Although, getting her to live with me so her parents wnt get at her would be a result, however, if ur able to, please can you awnser my original post. (:
kuzkasate
04-06-2009, 09:12 PM
I would just say give it your best shot... try foster her if it does lead to that. Just dont give up, keep on fighting is all I can say really. If you love her then go for it, nothing more powerful than love.
Swinkid
04-06-2009, 09:14 PM
I would just say give it your best shot... try foster her if it does lead to that. Just dont give up, keep on fighting is all I can say really. If you love her then go for it, nothing more powerful than love.
Yeah, it is. And my parents agrred - lucky we got a spare room she can live in. ;)
kuzkasate
04-06-2009, 09:18 PM
Yeah, it is. And my parents agrred - lucky we got a spare room she can live in. ;)
Your lucky you've got understanding parents. But what if you split up... will you regret it?
Swinkid
04-06-2009, 09:21 PM
We've been together two years already, and no i wouldn't regret it, im satisfied by helping someone out.
Fifteen
04-06-2009, 09:23 PM
Fostering isn't the first option, maybe only in really serious situations . The social will find out what is really going on, her parents will get counseling and she will also be offererd counseling to start off with.
Swinkid
04-06-2009, 09:31 PM
Fostering isn't the first option, maybe only in really serious situations . The social will find out what is really going on, her parents will get counseling and she will also be offererd counseling to start off with.
I Relise this, But her mother is a Prison officer and i would think that her mum would not do this, however i have seen my girlfriend get hit countless of times by her mum,a ll leaving with some kind of mark.
And what makes me sad is that, if she spoke to someone about how her mum is treating her, it would result in her getting hit again.
What i would like to know - is are we able to foster her if she did get put up, before she gets offerd to someone else, kinda volenteering, if you catch my drift. :S
Jordy
04-06-2009, 09:53 PM
Literly, A very close (To make streight, my girlfriend) friend of mine is getting Abused (not sexualy, as in hitting etc..) By parents, and if the worst comes to the worst may be put up to get fosterd.
My parents have agreed with me that we would foster her - but if the authorities do get involved, are we able to "Voulenteer" to foster her in paticular.
Reason being, i will never see her again if she gets fosterd by someone else, and i dont want that to happen.I can't help you on the matter of fostering sorry, but anyway I imagine you find it difficult as well not being able to help her, it may seem as if everyone is powerless although this is not the case. You need to push for help as soon as you can by contacting the relevant authorities. If it does come to fostering, and even if you don't see her again (Which is probably unlikely) you can atleast be satisfied in knowing she's in a much better home, I personally would see that as the priority rather than fostering her.
If she's old enough I imagine she could just run away and move in with you for the time being, there's not all that much the law can do to stop that and it could make her parents realise what's happened etc.
Swinkid
04-06-2009, 10:08 PM
I can't help you on the matter of fostering sorry, but anyway I imagine you find it difficult as well not being able to help her, it may seem as if everyone is powerless although this is not the case. You need to push for help as soon as you can by contacting the relevant authorities. If it does come to fostering, and even if you don't see her again (Which is probably unlikely) you can atleast be satisfied in knowing she's in a much better home, I personally would see that as the priority rather than fostering her.
If she's old enough I imagine she could just run away and move in with you for the time being, there's not all that much the law can do to stop that and it could make her parents realise what's happened etc.
What do you mean "Highly unlikely not seeing her." My friend's ex never saw each other since she got with her foster parents.
And running away moving with me? I don't see that happening - her parents would hit her again when she comes back, and even then i would defently not see her again.
Inspiration
04-06-2009, 10:24 PM
I've been Fostered for over 11years and it was for the very same reason well close enough ... Just to say fostering has changed my life for the better and never ever regret it... So i think your family should take her on I'm sure she would really appreciate it
Hope this helped :D .
If your parents foster her, and shes your girlfriend wouldnt that kinda make you her brother? or is that wrong
Swinkid
05-06-2009, 03:08 PM
If your parents foster her, and shes your girlfriend wouldnt that kinda make you her brother? or is that wrong
No, That would be adopting. Fostering is where you look after them.. There not related to you..
Japan
05-06-2009, 10:57 PM
Might become a little awkward though, being a couple and living in the same house with your parents.
But I hope it does work out =D
IceNineKills
06-06-2009, 04:03 PM
how old are you and your girlfriend?
my parents have been foster carers for over 10 years now.
Astrosaur
06-06-2009, 04:05 PM
Hope Your Life Is Happy With Her!! :D
Mrs.McCall
07-06-2009, 02:19 PM
My family are foster carers and it sucks but I dislike my foster brothers so...
But yeah, it won't be easy process and you can't just foster one person. Social Services will ask to take on others even if it is just for day care. It's a big responsibility and not only that, it takes a long time too. You have interviews, house checks, police checks, it has to go to panel. And with her parents knowing who you are, they might feel she would still be at risk at your house because she'll still go same school and everything.
The fact that you're her boyfriend may not go in your favour either tbh.
Usually when a kid is being neglected/ abused or watever and needs to be taken out of a parents care then they can go live with another family member or a family friend or something.
it depends, i got taken off my mam, lived with my nan for a bit and she couldnt handle it and was put in foster care for around 6 months, then my auntie agreed i could live with her and the social workers decided it was what best
every situation is different and therefore judged differently.
if shes being abused then she needs to tell somebody, a teacher at school is quite good, my little sister told her school teacher my mam was usless and stuff and next thing u no i was being taken out of school along with my little brother and siter so they do take things like this seriously.
If she does end up being fostered make sure you have alerted the right people before, I wouldn't like to see her go to a different family. I feel she'd do well at your home :)
Good luck to whatever happens and hopefully her parents can sort themselves out.
nicool
12-06-2009, 09:33 AM
thats nice that you would take her in but if you fostered her wouldnt it be weird that your going out but your mum and dad are like her acting mum and dad
Clowgon
30-06-2009, 04:40 PM
In no disrespect but i think this kind of question is very complicated for anyone on here to answer and to give you the best advice/information you need to get your GF fostered by your parents.
(No disrespect for those who have tried and helped you in the thread)
I think, as what someone has already said is to contact the right authoutries and inquiry about fostering...
I'm not sure but it could go against you if you live quite close together when someone is put up for fostering they tend to make sure the person who is up for fostering if far away from the previous place they used to live... Not to sure on this though.
I wish you the best of luck. x
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