Why can we not go out??

[Ryan498]

Hi, this has been doing my head in now for the last month, theres this girl I met in school since year 8 but we havent been best friends until year 11, I've always liked her though even since i started knowing her in year 8. But i want usmore to be than just friends, i feel like she is the only one for me and that she is perfect, and exactly who i've been looking for. We did take some time away because she wanted me to just want to be friends and to try and let my self forget about her, but that was suposed to be a fortnight, but she wanted to see my again because she had missed so much after 2 days. She always says im lovely and really nice to her, when i say it to her she always denies but she blusshes and it makes her look embarrasessed but she looks sweet. She trusts me as well because she has told me one of her biggest secrets and im the second person she trusts enought to say it, she has only said it to another friend of hers (girl), so that makes me the only boy who she has choosen to say.

I asked her about 2 days ago, if she she thought we could be more than just friends and if she thinks we could have somthing special, She replied to me saying "yes, we probably could have somthing special" but she doesnt want us to, because she doesnt want our friendship to break up because we are really close.But i know many of people most of which are my friends and they've split up with their over halfs and they are still very good friends.

Well it was my prom yesterday night, and we had a great time loads of pictures, i was not her prom date but she classed me as one letting me walking her in linking arms, but i just couldnt get to sleep last night because i was thinking of her for whole night until 2 in the morining, thats why im on here so early; trying to get some advice on what to do. I just dont know what i would do without her, and i know if we did end up going out with ecah other and then splitting up, we would still be very good friends. But she cannot think of it like that. :S

[Bun]

in the friend zone. nobody gets out of the friend zone, sorry. :(

[cocaine]

indeed the friend zone :(

like ikea, its easy to get in, so very difficult to get out.

[BoyBetterKnow]

Haha. It's possible. Just say to her, without being mean or demanding:

"You say you don't want to break our close friendship, but close friendships develop into relationships. If you think it'll ruin in then I suggest we just try it and we both sign a piece of paper to say that we will still be friends if it doesn't work".

That could work...

[Ryan498]

Shes that she doesnt feel the same way about me and that we do have a special friendship that is close but she doesnt wanna risk losing that :(

I just wish there could be somthing i could do

[Immenseman]

If she has the mind-set that she doesn't want to risk anything because she values your relationship in such high regard then there isn't all that much you can do. To me it sounds like she genuinely likes you, as a friend. She wants to be your friend and can really trust you. However, she doesn't want to take it any further.

The only thing you really can do is sit down and talk to her and explain everything like you have to us. If she still says she doesn't want a relationship then you're just going to have to keep chipping away but by doing that it might annoy her. Meh, just go for it - get the right moment and ask her out.

[Hecktix]

I lost two of the best friendships i've ever had through relationships.

If you value this person as a friend and truly do have feelings for her.

Stay friends, because she'll still be your friends in years to come.

Most relationships go wrong, and it's almost impossible for a couple to be friends afterwards.

Relationships are better with girls you meet randomly and then generate feelings for, not take existing feelings further.

It's not worth the heartache mate.

[Ryan498]

Oh no! i've failed. I said to her ""I got sommot to tell you, i love you"

She says she only wants to be friends because she doesnt feel like that to me, and i've made her feel bad, although were mates she knows that im hurt because she said no to me, i said it dont matter, i'll be friend if you want, i dont mind.

But she says were still friends now, but to me it doesnt feel like it, she never put kisses or huggs at the end of her texts and msn convos anymore, and doesnt want to come outside with me and her anymore on our own, shed rather go in a group instead. I've totally messed this one up.

[Toughened]

Oh no! i've failed. I said to her ""I got sommot to tell you, i love you"

She says she only wants to be friends because she doesnt feel like that to me, and i've made her feel bad, although were mates she knows that im hurt because she said no to me, i said it dont matter, i'll be friend if you want, i dont mind.

But she says were still friends now, but to me it doesnt feel like it, she never put kisses or huggs at the end of her texts and msn convos anymore, and doesnt want to come outside with me and her anymore on our own, shed rather go in a group instead. I've totally messed this one up.
You've probably just come off too strong, I mean if a friend told you "i love you" surely you'd freak out a little if you only seen them as a friend.

Just tell her that you understand you want to stay friends, and nothing more will happen as you respect her decision of just wanting to be friends, and for the time being, you're going to have to put the feelings behind you and just value her as an amazing friend.

If things still ain't right then leave it be and just see how the friendship works out, and don't go chasing after her 'cause it could become really annoying and you could come off too strong again.

[awelsh]

As everyone else has said about the friend-zone, its pretty hard to get out of. Well actually ive never managed to get out of it, ive justed screwed up and lost a friend :P but still theres always more people :)

If she doesn't want to be with you just keep looking, theres bound to be someone else around, you just need to get talking to different people that you might not have talked to before, its pretty fun to do too :D

[Mentor]

The friend zone is a myth, relationships commonly stem from friendships.
What you have to remember is the "i dont want to risk are friendship" thing, isnt about risking a friendship at all. Its just a method of saying there not interested in you,relationship wize, without hurting your feelings.

Just because you like her that way, doesn't mean she feels the same about you. So your best bets just to move on, as it doesn't sound like theres anything there. I one sided relationship would be doomed to fail anyway.

[Jam]

Heh, you can still be friends afterwards, two out of three times that has been the case for me, even if I do still love one of them.

[Ryan498]

hey, well we got annyoeyd with each other and were okay now :)

but she i now goin out with one of my friends and i doesnt feel right, they do hide the fact when they are out with me and my other friends that they are not actully meetin each other, but i know they are.

She knows its killing me inside and she offered to break up with my friend to save our friendship and not to hurt me anymore, but i said no because i dont want her or my friend being sad and upset, if i know she cant be happy with me then i want her to be happy with somone else =/

i just wish there are other girls who like me for who i am, im a nice, caring person and wudnt ever dream of hurting anyone. im not exactly good luckjing, but my friends and others say that girls dont go for the looks they go for the person inside instead and thats what matters, unless they were just saying that to try and make feel better. =/

[FlyingJesus]

in the friend zone. nobody gets out of the friend zone, sorry. :(

I do


I just wish there could be somthing i could do

Get her drunk


Oh no! i've failed. I said to her ""I got sommot to tell you, i love you"

She says she only wants to be friends because she doesnt feel like that to me, and i've made her feel bad, although were mates she knows that im hurt because she said no to me, i said it dont matter, i'll be friend if you want, i dont mind.

But she says were still friends now, but to me it doesnt feel like it, she never put kisses or huggs at the end of her texts and msn convos anymore, and doesnt want to come outside with me and her anymore on our own, shed rather go in a group instead. I've totally messed this one up.

Ok yeah you've messed up now. If they aren't interested in a relationship you don't go around acting like a boyfriend anyway, they'll get weirded out and you lose them entirely. If she won't see you alone any more it's gonna be difficult getting things back to how they were


The friend zone is a myth, relationships commonly stem from friendships.
What you have to remember is the "i dont want to risk are friendship" thing, isnt about risking a friendship at all. Its just a method of saying there not interested in you,relationship wize, without hurting your feelings.

Just because you like her that way, doesn't mean she feels the same about you. So your best bets just to move on, as it doesn't sound like theres anything there. I one sided relationship would be doomed to fail anyway.

Listen to this man he's quite often right about stuff, doubly so when he agrees with me. The way I see it this can go 3 ways:

1) You freak out and either get angry or possessive or just entirely whacked out on her, and she then doesn't want to see you any more.

2) You get her drunk and get with her, fun times all round then either she'll think it's the worst mistake she ever made or will think it's the best thing in the world and won't leave your groin alone for a long time.

3) You get with someone else and just get on with it, because if she sees this (not too soon, mind) then she'll either think you've moved on fine and will be a friend again or she'll get jealous and try it on with you, win win either way.

[buttons]

im not exactly good luckjing,
assuming you mean good looking then that's your answer so yeah follow tom's advice and get her drunk

[Lindsey]

Hmm, maybe she has her mind set on something else :S atm, just stay in the friend zone for abit,

[Lindsey]

If she classified you as walking her down, means she really likes you... just make a promise that if yu two do ever break up. that both of you will stay mates... i have loads of ex's that im friends now,. ;] mmmm.. thats all i can really say, have fun wil her ;]