LoveToStack
30-07-2009, 07:47 PM
I am currently seeing this girl who I have liked for a long time but hadn't been able to do anything about due to her string of boyfriends. Anyway I eventually won her over and you might say she broke up with her boyfriend for me. So I took it slow, mainly because I'm just like that but also because one of her previous boyfriends 'used her' if you will but she doesn't know I'm doing that for her sake so no brownie points there.
So we were getting along great, as far as I was concerned anyway it seems, talking most nights texts calls etc. I didn't get to see her as much as I would have liked because she works most days and then spends a lot of time with her friends when she's not (I don't have an issue with her priorities when it comes to this, not yet anyway...). We still saw eachother though, I'd go round to hers or her to mine and we'd have a laugh and then at social gatherings too. It should be noted that I haven't asked her out either because I wanted to get to know her properly before I called her my girlfriend and me her boyfriend so that we wouldn't just be 'going out' for appearances before we actually felt comfortable around eachother (seems I'm regretting not asking her out now but whatever).
Now to the main course. The other night I was just talking to her as normal when the subject came up of her going away on holiday this friday, tomorrow. Basically she had mentioned to me that she would be off Wednesday and Thursday of this week so I should be able to see her then, her words used. So in passing conversation she mentions that I wont be seeing her before she goes away...when I ask her why she says she has work Wednesday and has made plans with a friend on Thurs as well as getting her hair cut. This is where I lose my temper a bit because she told me that she would be free these days explicitly then made plans to do other things without telling me. I only say without telling me because she said this on Tuesday night and I asked her what she had been doing the last two days to which she replied 'nothing'. And this is where my temper flared a wee bit more. She made plans on the days I thought I would be seeing her but also seems to have forgotten to tell me that she was free to do something. My point is that she could have done something about it if she wanted to see me so I presume that she didn't want to see me. She picks up on this, she's not an idiot, and it opens the floodgates. She begins telling me she doesn't know what she wants anymore, saying she thought if I wanted anything more from this I would have done it by now (fair point, but what did she think we were doing up till now?). The jist of what happens after that is she says she's confused because she doesn't know if she wants to be with me despite liking me 'so much'. I'm not sure whether to interpret the 'so much' as sympathy so it doesn't seem so cold her breaking it off or not, either way if she does actually mean that then I'm totally in the dark as to how she can like me but not want to be with me.
Anyway one emotional night later she tells me that the only way she thinks that this will work out is if we go on a break until she thinks about what she wants (of course I have to do so if I want to stay with her, which I do, so that's where we are now). So I've not spoken to her since and the next time I do I don't think I'll be sparing her feelings, I'll just fire into the questions and try to clear up some of the things I don't understand. This all came out of nowhere by the way, it was like the flick of a switch with one day me thinking she was where I was and the next she just cuts me out and comes out with all this. Anyone care to shine a light on the situation, maybe provide a suggestion as to why she feels this way?
Sorry for the wall of text, if there's anything that doesn't make sense I'll try to clear it up.
So we were getting along great, as far as I was concerned anyway it seems, talking most nights texts calls etc. I didn't get to see her as much as I would have liked because she works most days and then spends a lot of time with her friends when she's not (I don't have an issue with her priorities when it comes to this, not yet anyway...). We still saw eachother though, I'd go round to hers or her to mine and we'd have a laugh and then at social gatherings too. It should be noted that I haven't asked her out either because I wanted to get to know her properly before I called her my girlfriend and me her boyfriend so that we wouldn't just be 'going out' for appearances before we actually felt comfortable around eachother (seems I'm regretting not asking her out now but whatever).
Now to the main course. The other night I was just talking to her as normal when the subject came up of her going away on holiday this friday, tomorrow. Basically she had mentioned to me that she would be off Wednesday and Thursday of this week so I should be able to see her then, her words used. So in passing conversation she mentions that I wont be seeing her before she goes away...when I ask her why she says she has work Wednesday and has made plans with a friend on Thurs as well as getting her hair cut. This is where I lose my temper a bit because she told me that she would be free these days explicitly then made plans to do other things without telling me. I only say without telling me because she said this on Tuesday night and I asked her what she had been doing the last two days to which she replied 'nothing'. And this is where my temper flared a wee bit more. She made plans on the days I thought I would be seeing her but also seems to have forgotten to tell me that she was free to do something. My point is that she could have done something about it if she wanted to see me so I presume that she didn't want to see me. She picks up on this, she's not an idiot, and it opens the floodgates. She begins telling me she doesn't know what she wants anymore, saying she thought if I wanted anything more from this I would have done it by now (fair point, but what did she think we were doing up till now?). The jist of what happens after that is she says she's confused because she doesn't know if she wants to be with me despite liking me 'so much'. I'm not sure whether to interpret the 'so much' as sympathy so it doesn't seem so cold her breaking it off or not, either way if she does actually mean that then I'm totally in the dark as to how she can like me but not want to be with me.
Anyway one emotional night later she tells me that the only way she thinks that this will work out is if we go on a break until she thinks about what she wants (of course I have to do so if I want to stay with her, which I do, so that's where we are now). So I've not spoken to her since and the next time I do I don't think I'll be sparing her feelings, I'll just fire into the questions and try to clear up some of the things I don't understand. This all came out of nowhere by the way, it was like the flick of a switch with one day me thinking she was where I was and the next she just cuts me out and comes out with all this. Anyone care to shine a light on the situation, maybe provide a suggestion as to why she feels this way?
Sorry for the wall of text, if there's anything that doesn't make sense I'll try to clear it up.