HELP ME! +rep

[Nixt]

My ex and I split up around four months ago. I love him more than anyone or anything I have ever met. I made some mistakes in our relationship that led him to losing his trust in me, I fully understand his issues. There is a chance now, that we could get back together but he is worried that he is going to have his trust broken again. He wants me to do something to prove to him he can trust me. I would do ANYTHING for him, but he wants me to come up with something and, ashamed as I am to admit it, I cannot think of anything that I could do to prove he can trust me. Help :'(!

[Teabags]

4 months...

Have you told your ex how much your thinking about this and have you told him about how much you've changed? I know this is a sensitive and personal topic but how serious do you want your relationship to work?

[Jackk]

nevermind.

[Nixt]

4 months...

Have you told your ex how much your thinking about this and have you told him about how much you've changed? I know this is a sensitive and personal topic but how serious do you want your relationship to work?

We have been split up four months and recently came into contact again. We were together for a year. I am desperate for this to work.


i thought you was a lad?

I am.

[Teabags]

We have been split up four months and recently came into contact again. We were together for a year. I am desperate for this to work.


What you must do is show you have understood their feelings during the split and do you feel that you have adapted to fit your partners feelings?

What you need to do is pay attention and be sensitive to their feelings and show that you have an intrest in their life. It's not just a bunch of flowers job. You need something that can truly bind you together, without guilt e.g. a responsibility/duty.

It really depends on many factors for instance, do you understand why you have split, have you realised your mistakes, you have to be patient to gain trust; it isn't an instant fix.

[FlyingJesus]

I think you should go clubbing with a couple of cool guys

[Nixt]

I think you should go clubbing with a couple of cool guys

That goes without saying.

[Teabags]

I think you should go clubbing with a couple of cool guys

y'mean leave someone that you want. I know that's always good, but if you want them back doesn't that lose even more trust. That is unless you hit rockbottom. Which in that case, go nuts.

[FlyingJesus]

y'mean leave someone that you want. I know that's always good, but if you want them back doesn't that lose even more trust. That is unless you hit rockbottom. Which in that case, go nuts.

I have no idea what you're on about

[Teabags]

I have no idea what you're on about

My bad. Ignore me.

[xxMATTGxx]

'You cannot really fix trust issues with a stand alone act, trust is hard to recover it takes time.' Although if you cut the smoking (like you said on msn) then I'm sure he will accept it and move onto the next step xD.

[Catzsy]

Well I think you really have to sit down and reflect why you made 'mistakes' in the first place. Patterns of behaviour can repeat themselves and is it the loss you are suffering rather than a real desire to reconcile yourself with the person? It can take a long time to get over a person and sometimes the with the pain & guilt it seems that it would be much easier to resume a relationship. Having had problems in my family I can tell you that things are never the same again but if you can accept that it will be different and this time decide what sort of relationship you want that can be agreed with the person it would save a lot of misunderstandings. You cannot prove your self in five minutes - trust takes a long time to build up again and during this time
the other person is going to feel very insecure. It can work though as long as there is complete honesty,empathy and & understanding on both sides, I think. :)

[Meanies]

Buy him some roses and sing him a song :)

[FlyingJesus]

Well I think you really have to sit down and reflect why you made 'mistakes' in the first place.

He was drunk and hard tbh

[LuketheDuke]

sure you havent got fixated on focusing on all the good but not bad parts of your relationship man?

happens to a lot of us so its good to really think about that before doing anything youd regret.

[Catzsy]

He was drunk and hard tbh

Well I know perhaps you were joking here but, if you are right, unless he becomes a monk the same situation will probably occur which is okay provided that the other person accepts it which by the sound of it is not the case.

[luce]

I really think all you can do is talk, they do say actions speak louder then words but i don't see what you can do but open up to him and really just tell him everything that may effect your relationship. When he knows it all and he sees how much you are willing to tell him and all that then i don't see why he wouldn't want to get back with you, i'm pretty sure he already wants you because he wouldn't have given you this oppertunity if not.

That's just how i see it. It really does depend what you did aswell :)