Whats a good way to break up?

[Cyndia]

So I've been dating this guy for about 3 months, and I've slowly come to realize that I'm really just not that into him. He's crazy about me since I'm his first really major girlfriend, but idk.. He was kind of a rebound relationship I think, since I got out of a 2 year relationship a couple months ago, even though I honestly didn't go into it with that intention. Anyway, I don't know how to go about breaking up with him! He lives next door to me in my dorm at uni so I'm going to be seeing him every day for rest of the school year. I don't want it to be awkward, but I don't know how to let him down easily without really hurting his feelings. Normally it's no problem since I would usually not run into the guy much after a break up, but this is different since we live right by each other. Any suggestions?

[Blinger$]

Say it isn't working. Or refuse any sexual stuff with him, he is bound to give up in the end.

[Cyndia]

Hahaha that's true. Hooking up with him would probably just send him the wrong message anyway..

[GarysLovers]

Well I'm a boy and if a girl wanted to break up with me I'd want her just to come out with it.

[Bun]

be very careful. if you're his first proper girlfriend he's going to take it really really hard. just tell him the normal stuff, don't fancy a relationship, not you it's him etc etc.. oh and he might take it easier if you offer him the friends with benefits route. ;)

[FlyingJesus]

tbh I'd get with one of his roommates if any are good looking. You win all round that way

[Smits]

I'm male. If a girl wanted to break up with me i'd want her to tell me straight, not make up stupid reasons, and then i'd respect that and be willing to stay friends. I'd call her my blast from the past.

[Meanies]

"It's not you, it's me"

Just tell him straight up and don't beat around the bush (no pun intended)

[Meree.]

Well since it's his first really propper relationship, try your best to go easy on him. Just pull him aside and say can I talk to you for a minute. Then tell him straight. Say he's a nice guy (and add whatevers nice about him) but tell him you've come to realise that you don't think of him in a boyfriend kind of way, and that you'd rather be friends instead. That's just an idea. Make sure you don't just dump it on him and then walk away.

Hope this helps.

[iAdam]

It isn't working, not worth it, Your just not that into him? A variety of ways that would all work ;)

[Cyndia]

True.. I actually already tried breaking up with him two weeks ago and it lasted 2 days and then I felt so bad about it that I took him back. Epic failure, I know. He took it well when I initially talked to him, but then he wrote me this awful facebook message that made me feel so guilty, and I kept seeing him moping around the dorm, and finally he brought me flowers and begged me to give him a second chance so I agreed.. But I wish I hadn't. Blehh, time to man up and just tell him straight up its not working for me. I think I may wait another 2 weeks until just before we leave for winter break though, at least then I won't have to see him for almost a month.

[GarysLovers]

Just tell him now get it over and done with.

[Browney]

You're in Uni and your his first girlfriend? But yeah, be gentle.

[Wig44.]

You wouldn't be in this situation if you live by the three F's:

Find her/him
*Removed* her/him
Forget her/him

But since you are in this situation then I'd suggest talking to her, face to face, there should be no other way of doing it. Just speak how you feel, he will come to appreciate you telling him why it didn't work so he can try not to do the same things in his next relationship (provided you didn't just shoot his confidence, causing him to live with his mother, inherit her house, and die in that same house, only ever going out for more lube, cream for friction burns or shopping)

Edited by Jamesy (Forum Moderator): Please do not avoid the forum filter.

[FlyingJesus]

True.. I actually already tried breaking up with him two weeks ago and it lasted 2 days and then I felt so bad about it that I took him back. Epic failure, I know. He took it well when I initially talked to him, but then he wrote me this awful facebook message that made me feel so guilty, and I kept seeing him moping around the dorm, and finally he brought me flowers and begged me to give him a second chance so I agreed.. But I wish I hadn't. Blehh, time to man up and just tell him straight up its not working for me. I think I may wait another 2 weeks until just before we leave for winter break though, at least then I won't have to see him for almost a month.

I'd break up before then tbh and make it obvious it's not gonna happen, otherwise you're dragging it out and making him believe he can get back with you again after winter break. Breakup/makeup is the worst way to go about things, it totally messes people up

[Pyroka]

tbh I'd get with one of his roommates if any are good looking. You win all round that way

Tom you're such an inspiration to all men. Have you seen the movie called "The Ugly Truth"? You're like Gerard Butler in that LOL.


True.. I actually already tried breaking up with him two weeks ago and it lasted 2 days and then I felt so bad about it that I took him back. Epic failure, I know. He took it well when I initially talked to him, but then he wrote me this awful facebook message that made me feel so guilty, and I kept seeing him moping around the dorm, and finally he brought me flowers and begged me to give him a second chance so I agreed.. But I wish I hadn't. Blehh, time to man up and just tell him straight up its not working for me. I think I may wait another 2 weeks until just before we leave for winter break though, at least then I won't have to see him for almost a month.

Daaaaaymn, thats EXACTLY what I did when I tried to get my gf back, tried FB'ing then sent her flowers and begged like mad, but she's a bit more strong willed. Thats your problem, you have to be very strong willed to go through with it, otherwise you'll be in a constant relationship where you won't be able to break away from something which may eventually hurt you. He sounds like what I used to be like, moping around and looking for sympathy. It's not you that needs to man up, its him.

I mean do you really want a guy who acts like a depressing old fart when he gets dumped by a girl? Just tell him to man the **** up and get on with it LOL. Don't leave it another 2 weeks, trust me that is the WORST thing to do. If you have doubts, just say them, I think if somebody did that for me then I'd be more appreciative than them telling me they've had doubts for however how long you have.

Be honest with him, and be firm with him. If the sparks gone it probably wont come back, though there is a chance in the future. Just ditch him gurl.

[Cyndia]

You're in Uni and your his first girlfriend? But yeah, be gentle.

Yeahh, I guess he's a bit of a late bloomer? he's had little flings with a couple girls and officially dated just 1 other, but they apparently only lasted about a month which makes me his first somewhat serious girlfriend..



Daaaaaymn, thats EXACTLY what I did when I tried to get my gf back, tried FB'ing then sent her flowers and begged like mad, but she's a bit more strong willed. Thats your problem, you have to be very strong willed to go through with it, otherwise you'll be in a constant relationship where you won't be able to break away from something which may eventually hurt you. He sounds like what I used to be like, moping around and looking for sympathy. It's not you that needs to man up, its him.

I mean do you really want a guy who acts like a depressing old fart when he gets dumped by a girl? Just tell him to man the **** up and get on with it LOL. Don't leave it another 2 weeks, trust me that is the WORST thing to do. If you have doubts, just say them, I think if somebody did that for me then I'd be more appreciative than them telling me they've had doubts for however how long you have.

Be honest with him, and be firm with him. If the sparks gone it probably wont come back, though there is a chance in the future. Just ditch him gurl.

Yeah I have no will at all. I hate seeing people upset, it's why I'm so terrible with breakups. I really should end it now, but I feel guilty also because finals are in a week and I don't want to screw him over for those by distracting him.. So I'm just going to try being somewhat distant and then just break up with him as soon as finals are over for this semester.

Hahaha and for the record I'm totally following the three F rule from now on Wigg. Screw having relationships!

Thread closed, but thank you for your advice everyone! I'll +rep everyone I can. :)