View Full Version : cringe but kinda need advice
Immenseman
28-12-2009, 12:42 AM
unlike majority of these threads this is irl although before someone tries to make a funny comment yes we met online (no not habbo ;l) but we've met a few times now. anyways, well basically, some of you already know but yeah. i really like someone. they say they like me. been the same for about a month, we spend a bit of time together, admittedly not much because they've recently been in hospital but yeah we're always talking to one another text msn facebook or when we go out together.
they keep hinting at a relationship and this is what i want but i'm really scared to commit because i have trust problems, i don't really trust anyone and i'm scared of getting hurt. so yeah i really want to be with them and i don't want them to get fed up of me messing about but i'm also too scared to get too involved.
yeah lol didn't think i'd ever have to post on here but i want advice and i'm guessing someone has been in the same position before. i know it's a bit vague but it has to be that way :) as people on here know the person irl too
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Get to know her more to develop your trust with her.
As for the other parts, I get scared to get too involved too :rolleyes: XD
Immenseman
28-12-2009, 12:51 AM
i know them well enough but the thing is the longer i spend trying to develop trust i feel is wasting time and don't want them to be like ;l chop chop and lose them
I guess you could be open about it. I'm sure she'd love for you to be open about having trust issues. I mean, girls supposedly like the weaknesses of men, or something like that.
I know you've said you're scared of getting hurt, but you're youngish at the moment so what's the worst that could happen? You might end up with a broken heart per say but as I said, you're young and you'll soon get over it. I mean, since you're going uni, I presume you'd split up by then anyway?
I'd personally go for it, but make sure they know that you'll need to focus when you need to and vice versa. Good luck :)
cocaine
28-12-2009, 12:58 AM
jake im going to be frank cause i have EXACTLY the same problems as you. girls will get bored of waiting around for you to ask them out and get the ball rolling. they'll move on and find someone else. at least thats what its been like for me, and it's happened once and ALMOST twice but i realised what was happening and made sure i got the last say ;).
Sammeth.
28-12-2009, 01:06 AM
If they can't go at your pace then obviously they don't like you enough to try and work at the relationship, and therefore you're probably better off without them. Keep it at a pace your comfortable with and if they genuinely do like and appreciate you then that'll be reflected in whether or not they want to be with you through whatever. I think everyone has trust issues and insecurities, but thats just what makes us human. She'll have the same sort of little niggles. It'll all be part of developing the relationship.
Niall!
28-12-2009, 01:23 AM
Is it a guy? Just admit it babe.
Sammeth.
28-12-2009, 01:50 AM
Is it a guy? Just admit it babe.
I'll admit this also went through my mind.
Same cus he kept saying them :P
Lindsey
28-12-2009, 04:45 AM
I can relate to you very well. Its hard for people to gain trust with me.. , but when they do, i usally end up getting hurt..
My advise is, Give it a chance. Maybe she likes a guy who loves being involved , i sure do :) Give the girl a chance, it seems like you really like her, and she likes you to.
Good luck <3
Black_Apalachi
28-12-2009, 10:32 AM
Is it Leah? Sorry it had to be asked!
Either way, everyone on the interwebs thinks you're like a god so I'd go for it :)
Scophobia
28-12-2009, 09:41 PM
I'd just say go for it tbh. Be open with them && tell them, what's the worst that could happen? They might not want to be with you if they don't like that BUT then you won't be as hurt as if you were in a relationship and something happened?
Just go for it! You only live once, who knows, you could be really happy together :)
go for it, if it falls through due to your trust issues then at least you had a shot at it. if you don't make a move she will most likely get bored of waiting.
Immenseman
30-12-2009, 02:34 AM
Is it Leah? Sorry it had to be asked!
Either way, everyone on the interwebs thinks you're like a god so I'd go for it :)
No, it isn't. Thanks to everyone else, I have read each of your replies and acknowledged them and I know you're right I just have to get a move on or run the risk of losing them and it could all work out fine. Easier said than done though. Tis appreciated anyway. Thanks also for not turning my only serious thread (ever and it'll be the last one) into spam like all my other threads.
Hecktix
30-12-2009, 05:25 AM
No, it isn't. Thanks to everyone else, I have read each of your replies and acknowledged them and I know you're right I just have to get a move on or run the risk of losing them and it could all work out fine. Easier said than done though. Tis appreciated anyway. Thanks also for not turning my only serious thread (ever and it'll be the last one) into spam like all my other threads.
I know it sounds quite pathetic and I haven't read the rest of the thread but try getting drunk with them and then talking about your feelings.
Blinger1
30-12-2009, 09:47 AM
I know it sounds quite pathetic and I haven't read the rest of the thread but try getting drunk with them and then talking about your feelings.
That could be a dangerous suggestion..
Is it Leah? Sorry it had to be asked!
Either way, everyone on the interwebs thinks you're like a god so I'd go for it :)
lmao why would it be me he knows im too good for him 4god ;l
I know it sounds quite pathetic and I haven't read the rest of the thread but try getting drunk with them and then talking about your feelings.
thats what tom says but its normally followed by "and take advantage" :P
If they're hinting and you like them, then just be honest. At least if you're both honest something gets done right?
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