Fostering

[Gibs960]

My dad is thinking of fostering and I really don't want him to, but he laughs every time I say something. What do I do :'(

Moved from 'Discuss Anything' by invincible (Forum Super Moderator)

[Nixt]

Care to elaborate on why you don't want him to?

[Hecktix]

Are you an only child?

And if you don't mind me asking, why are you against this?

[dirrty]

unless you have a valid excuse why he shouldn't foster someone, then it's rather selfish of yourself.

[AlexOC]

I don't think its fair to say its childish, a child moving in to your family like this could be very upsetting. Sit down with him and make him know you are really serious and want him to listen.

[Gibs960]

The reason why is, I've never really started bonding with my dad until last year and as soon as I get close enough to start telling him stuff he says that, and no I'm not an only child, and I'm happy with my life, without some kid I don't know snoopin thru my stuff.

[AlexOC]

The reason why is, I've never really started bonding with my dad until last year and as soon as I get close enough to start telling him stuff he says that, and no I'm not an only child, and I'm happy with my life, without some kid I don't know snoopin thru my stuff.

Maybe he wants to have another kid to go through the experience he missed when he wasnt close to you.

Like i said, sit down with him and really get him to listen.

[dirrty]

well if your dads adamant, then tough luck really. you could lock your door/belongings, tell the child not to do certain things but it's a selfless thing to foster a child. just look at it from someone elses point-of-view instead of your own.

[leah]

you're bound to not want it, because you wouldn't want to share the attention, i'd be exactly the same. I'm sure if you told him your concerns and your reasoning he'd talk to you about it and it would make you feel better!

[Gibs960]

Maybe he wants to have another kid to go through the experience he missed when he wasnt close to you.

Like i said, sit down with him and really get him to listen.

Why would he do that, he should be spending time with me if he wanted that not fostering to make someone elses life, a misery, and I've told my mum I'm not going if he does foster until they get rid. so I'll be around 15 if they adopt next year.

[Hecktix]

So you don't live with your dad?

Does your dad live alone or?

[Gibs960]

He lives with my step mum, she put him up to it, won't listen to me, when she says it has to happen,

[Hecktix]

He lives with my step mum, she put him up to it, won't listen to me, when she says it has to happen,

Does she have kids?

[dirrty]

maybe theres more to it then just simply adopting. i think if it makes your dad happy, then you should be happy instead of acting like a baby refusing to visit him until the childs gone.

[Gibs960]

Being a baby? Do you know how long I've waited to get close to my dad! I've waited about 6 years and then he says, we're fostering! I hate him!

[dirrty]

Being a baby? Do you know how long I've waited to get close to my dad! I've waited about 6 years and then he says, we're fostering! I hate him!
yes, being a baby lol.

I'm not going if he does foster until they get rid. so I'll be around 15 if they adopt next year.

have you told him you just want to spend more time with him. just attempt to have a heart-to-heart with him. just because he's fostering doesn't mean he doesn't care about you anymore, but you just have to see the bigger picture. if you feel you're being pushed aside, tell him or try to see him more. if that doesn't work then talk to you step-mum as she may feel for you and see if she can 'mediate' with you two or do something. don't give up on family just because you have an issue with something.

[Gibs960]

Give up on family, I've never given up on my family, it's my Dad who wants to foster because of some random woman who comes and ruins my whole life, first she starts arguin with me and then blaiming me and my dad falls out with me, I wish everyone would just leave me alone, as soon as life is worth livin, this happens!

[IceNineKills]

although i'll get an infraction for this i'm still going to say it.

you seriously need to grow up. you seem like a little daddys boy. my family have fostered for 12 years now and i've met some amazing people through it and also helped changed many kids lives.

if you don't want to help others live a life like yours then you seriously need to start thinking. you're just being selfish.

[Gibs960]

Obviously you don't know me, my dad is an idiot who only favours his wife, they're only doing it for the money that much is obvious, and I don't want to go because when my dad meets someone knew whos gonna live with him, everyone else gets pushed out, last time it happened I got kicked out for 2 years. And plus you foster because you don't have kids, my dad has 4, and the ones that visit him both think no.

[luce]

i dont know why everyone is like you're so selfish. I would never want my parents to foster in a million years it give you the feeling like you're not good enough and that thing about split attention. Also she obviously old enough to have formed relationships with people and this foster child coming in may not get on with you so it would be like hell.

Just tell your dad in a mature way. Btw is it just you and your dad or is there your mum and other siblings aswell?!

[Gibs960]

There's me and my brother who visit my dad and step mum, we live with my mum, but I do feel as if I'm not good enough.

[TheEclipse]

Yeah I would be a bit upset about it too, myself, even though I like kids and like people helping others...

[Stryderman]

Not gonna lie but i know what its like to have your dad put his priorities over his gf / wife before his kids. Its a joke he doesnt listen to you at all you can get away with murder normally unless it involves her. You get blamed for everything that goes wrong.

If i were you try going to connexions or something like that. They have alot more experience with this sort of stuff than useless kids on this forum giving you lip for thinking your selfish. Your not selfish at all if hes doing it for all the wrong reasons you have every right to feel the way you do.

[Black_Apalachi]

Obviously you don't know me, my dad is an idiot who only favours his wife, they're only doing it for the money that much is obvious, and I don't want to go because when my dad meets someone knew whos gonna live with him, everyone else gets pushed out, last time it happened I got kicked out for 2 years. And plus you foster because you don't have kids, my dad has 4, and the ones that visit him both think no.

I don't understand; how does fostering gain one's self money? Surely an extra child just creates extra costs? Besides, do you really think these people want to foster a child for reasons other than giving the child a good home?

If I'm honest, I wouldn't exactly be excited either if my mum suddenly decided to foster a child, but it's hard for me to imagine this whole situation because my parents simply wouldn't have done something so drastic if they knew I was so against it. Also seems odd when you talk about why they're doing it.

[Stryderman]

I don't understand; how does fostering gain one's self money? Surely an extra child just creates extra costs? Besides, do you really think these people want to foster a child for reasons other than giving the child a good home?

If I'm honest, I wouldn't exactly be excited either if my mum suddenly decided to foster a child, but it's hard for me to imagine this whole situation because my parents simply wouldn't have done something so drastic if they knew I was so against it. Also seems odd when you talk about why they're doing it.


You can claim benefits housin benefits child support benefits etc. Same as having like 10 kids you would get more money from benefits than if you worked.

[Black_Apalachi]

But that money will be needed to look after the child plus the extra work of looking after the child, so it's hardly a very reliable get-rich-quick scheme.

[Gibs960]

You don't spend that much money, I know how my dad works.

[Black_Apalachi]

So you're actually serious that your dad is fostering a child purely to gain money? :S

[IceNineKills]

Obviously you don't know me, my dad is an idiot who only favours his wife, they're only doing it for the money that much is obvious, and I don't want to go because when my dad meets someone knew whos gonna live with him, everyone else gets pushed out, last time it happened I got kicked out for 2 years. And plus you foster because you don't have kids, my dad has 4, and the ones that visit him both think no.

for the money? the money that you get from fostering is a very small amount, not enough to live on for a single person.