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View Full Version : To Ask Or Not To Ask?



LuketheDuke
25-07-2010, 06:32 PM
Right I never usually post on here that much but I have a massive dilemma to decode and I could seriously do with some help.

So between about March and mid June I dated a foreign exhange student from America and we literally had the most amazing time with one another. It started out as just a random play kind of relationship but by the time she left we were practically inseparable. I had quite a tough time beforehand dealing with the breakdown of a 3 year relationship with my ex girlfriend and the last thing I wanted was to get involved with another girl but alas, along came this one and in the end I could not stop myself from falling for her. She always told me that what happened between us was the last thing she thought would occur as well but said she was so glad we happened, and on our last night together she said the four letter "L" word (and it wasnt like)! But we always made it clear that we were an item for as long as she was in the country and when she left we would be finished. She stated that she didnt think we could be together next year when I go to the college shes at now and I understood.

However since shes left we have been in constant contact with one another, talking on skype and sending emails to each other constantly. She tells me she misses me and I tell her I miss her. And this isnt all me, I'd say its more her. Although since going back shes hooked up a few times with an old boyfriend, someone who she always ends up sleeping with no matter what she says. She said to me it doesnt mean anything and hasnt felt so far away from this boy in years. I was propositioned in a similar fashion by a girl I know maybe a week ago and felt like venting but in the end I couldnt go through with it because I just simply couldnt.

This has got me thinking, because I always thought I'd move on knowing the relationship I had wasnt permenant but dispite this I think about this girl constantly and I am genuinely crazy about her. Problem number one is she lives thousands of miles away and the second is I dont know what she wants, why does she talk to me every day if shes disconnected herself from me? But if I go to the same college as her for 7 months next year, do my postgrad in the USA (My degree is American Studies so relationship or not its logical for me to do that) and if she comes to the UK as a Nanny-its a possibility- should I let my feelings fizzle out? Or should I say to her I cant stand not asking if anything can ever happen again and I would be so willing to make that commitment to you. If it goes wrong I risk ruining a friendship, making things awkward and coming across as pathetic. If it goes right theres a long distance relationship involved but after a lot of thinking I know she'd be worth the effort.

Please help this is torture!!!

Samantha.
25-07-2010, 06:37 PM
I think it might be for the best to just move on and just stay friends with her because a long distance relationships can be awful unless you can just cope with not seeing them for ages. But whatever you decide and whatever happens I hope everything all becomes alright for you!

Nicola
25-07-2010, 06:45 PM
I really think you need to ask her one last time what she wants. Seems to me that's she's trying to let go but may be finding it just as hard as you.

Also, if you both care about eachother enough then you shouldn't let the friendship be awkward. I'm sure you'd rather you were friends than complete strangers?

Callum.
25-07-2010, 06:57 PM
I don't think these things work, in the same country then yeah, but it'll do more harm than good holding onto something that may never work out.

I'm in a similar situation really. My girlfriend of soon to be 7 months moves to China soon.

wixard
25-07-2010, 07:03 PM
i've had this... can you not wait it out?
i'm sorry i like quickly read that so i might of missed something, but can you not just be with other people then when you're together continue the relationship?
i know you miss her and stuff but as time goes by it does get easier....
at least you know you're going to see each other again

Callum.
25-07-2010, 08:27 PM
i've had this... can you not wait it out?
i'm sorry i like quickly read that so i might of missed something, but can you not just be with other people then when you're together continue the relationship?
i know you miss her and stuff but as time goes by it does get easier....
at least you know you're going to see each other again

does this work? like seeing other people while continuing a relationship?

wixard
25-07-2010, 09:14 PM
does this work? like seeing other people while continuing a relationship?

theres a boy i met when i was 16 and i've had some complicated times cos i've moved from canada to ireland
but i know that once i finish education here i'll be going back... and i'm assuming when i return we'll get back together right away
but til then i'm with different people and so is he... i always compare them to him but i mean whateverrr... i just tell myself it's not possible right now
and i just gotta wait it out

SAYING THAT, it's not exactly the healthiest thing to do....

Soy
25-07-2010, 09:37 PM
nice thread, i enjoyed the part when you posted pics

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