problems

[Imosae]

Hi,

To be honest in my head i feel i get critcised all the time in all the things that i do wrong which i personally hate! I come down as not organised as my head is full of things that i should've done but not got round to doing this might sound pointless now and feel like i'm not going to change in years, days, months to come, i'm often told that i should 'get out more' because i'm mostly stuck in the house half of the time but the thing is i am scared to go out i don't know why this happens but in the past i used to go out but now thats gone sort of downhill if you like.

+rep for all answers

[immense]

Hi,

To be honest in my head i feel i get critcised all the time in all the things that i do wrong which i personally hate! I come down as not organised as my head is full of things that i should've done but not got round to doing this might sound pointless now and feel like i'm not going to change in years, days, months to come, i'm often told that i should 'get out more' because i'm mostly stuck in the house half of the time but the thing is i am scared to go out i don't know why this happens but in the past i used to go out but now thats gone sort of downhill if you like.

+rep for all answers

I realised that I'm kinda the same a few weeks back. Putting things off. Someone said something to me that really struck me. "There are two ways of doing things... straight away or not at all" - it can mean what you want it to mean, not necessarily you literally never do things but when you get around to them you don't put enough effort into it. I'm inside a lot too, that isn't always a bad thing, "time you enjoy wasting, isn't wasted time" is another quote I like (maybe it makes me feel better...) but yeah I also think my social life is active too.

Why don't you go for a new start? Join some clubs? Ask current friends if they want to do something - even if it's just a movie night - everyone loves a movie night!

[Samantha.]

You shouldn't let what other people think about you stop going out. Have you got any close friends you could talk to that could help you go out more? I think the more you start going out, the more you'll start to forget about think. Trust me, I never used to be organised but ever since I started college I had to learn to be organised or it got me no-where. Maybe people at school/college or maybe your parents could help you this confidence and organisation. I hope things work out for you!

[Jordy]

First of all well done for noticing there's a problem, most people don't realise there is a problem until it's pointed out to them which will only lead them to have more regrets. You've got to get out there first though, start asking people or going out a bit more at first, initially you'll probably feel a bit uncomfortable with it but if you keep giving it a try you'll no doubt come to like it. Then once you get to the stage where you begin enjoying it, you'll have no problems going out and become happier with it. You will need to push yourself at first but once you do, you won't regret that. Try not to dwell on the past too much as well, I'm not someone to say "have no regrets!" because everyone does, but try living for the moment to minimise those regrets :)

[KebabJuice]

I have this problem also.

I know what it feels like to be honest; I kick myself my to get out of the house but most of the time i just cant be bothered
i cannot really offer advice because I'm in that situation aswell. sorry.

I hope we both pull out of it though :)

[Inseriousity.]

If you feel like things are getting on top of you, go into a quiet room with a pen and paper and write everything down that you need to do. Once you've done that, rearrange the list into a timetable and then more importantly, do it.

As for the going out, I have no idea what you need to do but I imagine there'll be some that will require you to leave the house. I agree with the others, maybe it'd be a good time to join a new club or something going on. I also agree with immense though, doing something you enjoy doing isn't wasting time at all. I think deep down though you don't enjoy it when there's that doubt there that you should be outside not in.

[Catzsy]

Some people are more happy with their own company so staying in the house is not necessarily a bad thing - it's just what you do. Wht are you scared of going out?

[Imosae]

Some people are more happy with their own company so staying in the house is not necessarily a bad thing - it's just what you do. Wht are you scared of going out?

Im just not as comfortable when going out as much and worried about who will i bump into in who i know basically and how people who will judge my appearance.

[Samantha.]

Im just not as comfortable when going out as much and worried about who will i bump into in who i know basically and how people who will judge my appearance.

It sounds like you lack self confidence! If you bump into people, you don't have to talk to them you could just ignore them.

[Catzsy]

Im just not as comfortable when going out as much and worried about who will i bump into in who i know basically and how people who will judge my appearance.

That happens when you going through your teens. If people are genuine then they shouldn't judge you. The others are a total waste of space in any event so not worth bothering about. You can usually only count your true friends on the fingers of one hand. Do you talk to peeps on the internet?

[Imosae]

That happens when you going through your teens. If people are genuine then they shouldn't judge you. The others are a total waste of space in any event so not worth bothering about. You can usually only count your true friends on the fingers of one hand. Do you talk to peeps on the internet?

Yeah, i have my college friends etc to talk to on social networking like facebook, msn but i hardly don't know what to talk about half the time as im stuck for words like Sam said i think i lack self confidence! But yeah i do talk to them as often as i can.

[Samantha.]

I sometimes find it hard to start conversations, I usually try and then fail but I find it hard to start conversation if i'm shy around the person and don't want to say something stupid or I just don't know them well. I think there is people you can talk to about self confidence!

[Catzsy]

Yeah, i have my college friends etc to talk to on social networking like facebook, msn but i hardly don't know what to talk about half the time as im stuck for words like Sam said i think i lack self confidence! But yeah i do talk to them as often as i can.

It will probably ease a lot when you get back to college - if you have nothing to say then it's better than waffling!
It's just a phase I feel. It's not as if you are not at a loss for friends or anything. It's been a long summer - very easy to slip into being a hermit. We all need to get out of the comfort of our cave soon. :P

[Shar]

Yeah, i have my college friends etc to talk to on social networking like facebook, msn but i hardly don't know what to talk about half the time as im stuck for words like Sam said i think i lack self confidence! But yeah i do talk to them as often as i can.

I'm in that situation right now where I have isolated myself from all my friends and real life so much that I don't want to go out anywhere.
You should just organise a day iut to the cinema or something with a group of your close friends who you will feel comfortable going out with :)
To become more organised you should make a list of things to do, make a deadline for it and then complete each task one by one crossing things out along the way.

[KebabJuice]

Ignoring, i think is the hardest thing i can do. especially if your most of a listener towards people rather than being the one thats chatty such as me.

[Special]

omg i had this when i was in school

i think what you have is stress

this is what i use when i get stressed:
http://a.imageshack.us/img828/256/50wayscopestress.jpg

even if you don't think it's stress, use this anyway!

hope it helps :)

[Imosae]

thanks dude :D may use it some time

[Shar]

omg i had this when i was in school

i think what you have is stress

this is what i use when i get stressed:
http://a.imageshack.us/img828/256/50wayscopestress.jpg

even if you don't think it's stress, use this anyway!

hope it helps :)
That's nice advice
+rep

[Samantha.]

omg i had this when i was in school

i think what you have is stress

this is what i use when i get stressed:
http://a.imageshack.us/img828/256/50wayscopestress.jpg

even if you don't think it's stress, use this anyway!

hope it helps :)

Thanks for the advice, +rep
It'll probably help me sometime