My MC

[StopBreathing]

Hey everyone. this is me "rapping" It is only short. and yes. You may think its rubbish. I am personally proud of it though because I am a begginer. If you hate, please be kind ok?



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HiChWYnQ4AE

[Judas]

i think youre a bit out of time, and sorry but the line "he's sick, and not in a good way" killed me

[matt$]

Needs more flow, so it dont sound like ur readin it off a bit of paper which i presume u are

[FlyingJesus]

Needs more flow, so it dont sound like ur readin it off a bit of paper which i presume u are

Adding to this, I think it would probably have better flow if any of it was actually rhyming at some point instead of just reading out a prose love letter over a beat

[StopBreathing]

Thanks for your responses :) as i said im only a beginner. I will improve. thanks though