age gaps in relationships

[buttons]

ok quick opinion plz


would you say a 17 (nearly 18...) year old girl & 26 year old guy is bad? personally i'm not really attracted to anyone under 22. i guess i just like the security of it all >.< anyway my brothers are not happy with this 26 yr old (we're not exclusive yet:@), even though they both date girls younger than them.


my eldest is 21 and his gf is 19, they have a baby together. she was 15 & he was 18 when they got together (he turns 22 before she turns 20)
my other is 19 and has a 15 year old gf, she was 14 n he was 18 when they got together

the fact the girls were both underage makes it wrong for me. but i'm legal so....

oh also

one of my friends is 18 and her boyfriend is 29, 17 & 28 when they got together and they're happy together + shes the happiest she's ever been so i don't see the problem

anyway what are your thoughts please

[Richie]

Its fine, once there's not an age difference of like decades lol.

Your brothers are doing the right thing ;l everyone knows underagers give people ragers

[Inseriousity.]

For me personally, I've always said it'd be awkward if the age gap was too much. I think 10 years maximum. Although I also think this is actually just a problem with young people. When you say one's 18 and the other's 14, you think 'eww how is that right' but I tend to just add 20 years on now and see if it's okay then and 38 and 34 doesn't make me think 'eww' so why is it making me think 'eww' just because they're younger. There are some very big age gaps like one's 70 and the other's 25. No matter how many years you add on, it's just too big (inb4 'that's what she said').

It's a tricky one really because I'm also of the opinion that age is just a number which kinda just makes my whole previous paragraph a waste of time :(

[Samantha]

I think it's fine to have an age gap of 9 years (approximately). However, I think your brothers are just looking out for you(her)(whoever) and just want to make sure she/you is safe.

Overall, if it's meant to be it's meant to be, we can't help who e fall in love with or who we have feelings for.
Also, you shouldn't let anyone tell you different, if you know you like this 26 year old and he likes you back then go for it, you shouldn't ask anyones thoughts tbh, it's what you feel. Just bare in mind, if you don't take the chance now, you may regret it in future.


(I didn't really understand if it was for a friend or you, so just replace you with her/she etc if it's a friend.)

[IceNineKills]

age gaps are nothing these days.

[Special]

depends if they look old

[buttons]

For me personally, I've always said it'd be awkward if the age gap was too much. I think 10 years maximum. Although I also think this is actually just a problem with young people. When you say one's 18 and the other's 14, you think 'eww how is that right' but I tend to just add 20 years on now and see if it's okay then and 38 and 34 doesn't make me think 'eww' so why is it making me think 'eww' just because they're younger. There are some very big age gaps like one's 70 and the other's 25. No matter how many years you add on, it's just too big (inb4 'that's what she said').

It's a tricky one really because I'm also of the opinion that age is just a number which kinda just makes my whole previous paragraph a waste of time :(
lol he'd be 30 when i'm 21/22 >.> but 40 at 31/32 doesn't sound too bad. could be worse:)

I think it's fine to have an age gap of 9 years (approximately). However, I think your brothers are just looking out for you(her)(whoever) and just want to make sure she/you is safe.

Overall, if it's meant to be it's meant to be, we can't help who e fall in love with or who we have feelings for.
Also, you shouldn't let anyone tell you different, if you know you like this 26 year old and he likes you back then go for it, you shouldn't ask anyones thoughts tbh, it's what you feel. Just bare in mind, if you don't take the chance now, you may regret it in future.


(I didn't really understand if it was for a friend or you, so just replace you with her/she etc if it's a friend.)
yeh for me ^^ my friends parents & her bfs parents get on well...
my brothers hate anyone that does as much as look at me. normally i don't take other people's thoughts in to consideration (xD) when it comes to this, my mum never wants me to get a bf ;l i'll probably persuade her, won't take much.

depends if they look old
lol he looks about early 20s maybe but i like that :S i don't really like anyone that looks younger than 20 idk plus i kinda look my age so doesn't look too bad

[Ed.]

The rule is:

( Older Person's Age X 0.5 ) + 7 = Min. Acceptable Age.

---------- Post added 19-10-2010 at 09:54 PM ----------

The rule is:

( Older Person's Age X 0.5 ) + 7 = Min. Acceptable Age.

[buttons]

so a 60 yr old with a 37 yr old?
50 yr old with a 32 year old
40 yr old with a 27 year old?

nah i will stick to 10yrs maximum:@

[Apple]

If I'm honest I do think it sounds a little odd. The age gap you have is the same age gap I have with my english teacher, even though she's pretty fit it would feel crazy to have a relationship with her. But since you are getting on for 2 years older than me (I'm 16 in Jan) I guess it makes things a lot different, almost to the point that you could have a relationship with someone of any age within reason. I guess the bottom line is, if you are both happy together and find each other attractive then that's all that matters and why let numbers get in-between that?

And I just have to ask; is he Asian? :D

[Callum.]

Age gaps are nothing, that is nothing. But I'd rather have fun than than go 9 years older.

[FlyingJesus]

If he fulfills your needs then what's the problem it's not like you're a little kid getting groomed

[buttons]

If I'm honest I do think it sounds a little odd. The age gap you have is the same age gap I have with my english teacher, even though she's pretty fit it would feel crazy to have a relationship with her. But since you are getting on for 2 years older than me (I'm 16 in Jan) I guess it makes things a lot different, almost to the point that you could have a relationship with someone of any age within reason. I guess the bottom line is, if you are both happy together and find each other attractive then that's all that matters and why let numbers get in-between that?

And I just have to ask; is he Asian? :D
well im nearly 18 and he's newly 26
i like how he has his career + everything on the go, no past children (thank god) it's just he's old enough to settle down and i don't plan to for like 6/7 years so he'll be like 32/33.... lol
THINKING 2 MUCH IN TO THE FUTURE I KNOW
it'll probably never work out
ahh what a problem. i'm just too mature for my age ofc.

also he's half white half asian. his mums half thai, half chinese so i guess he'd be quarter of those 2? not sure bout his dad but he's white anyway lol

Age gaps are nothing, that is nothing. But I'd rather have fun than than go 9 years older.
i've had all my "fun";)
& he's loads of fun too, kinda like having an older brother again. idk if that's weird or what or if it's a phase. i always said i want sum1 like my oldest brother (im not incest, educate yourself before u make stupid statements - not aimed at you)

the problem, tom, is he's old enough to settle down n **** n i aint gon be ready for at least 5 year. SO IDK IF ITS WORTH IT. ;_; i find smth gd but there's always a problem SRSLY

[immense]

its different when its younger teens because they're not fully developed. anyway, you're 19 next year (:o) so i don't think it's that bad. not like you're a child anyway.

[Conservative,]

In my opinion as long as your not dating someone a lot older or younger a
Few years is fine. As i said in another thread i like a girl 2 years younger. Some would call me a pedo but if she likes me az well there's nothing wrong...

Basically as long as both consent and like each other ect and the age gap isn't huge i don't see the
Problem.

[wixard]

you're probably way more mature than i am, but since i was 16 i've really liked one of the barmen i work with who's 7 years older than me
and we get along great, like probably better than any other guy i speak with but it's obvious we both are constantly thinking of the age gap and how we're in two completely different stages of life

you haven't even gone to uni yet, i dunno i just think it's a bad idea. saying that me and my guy never passed our friendship stage but still

[FlyingJesus]

the problem, tom, is he's old enough to settle down n **** n i aint gon be ready for at least 5 year. SO IDK IF ITS WORTH IT. ;_; i find smth gd but there's always a problem SRSLY

Well being old enough doesn't mean that's what he's looking to do especially if he's flinging appendages up a 17 year old, you should probably find out if that's even what he wants before worrying about it

[buttons]

its different when its younger teens because they're not fully developed. anyway, you're 19 next year (:o) so i don't think it's that bad. not like you're a child anyway.
yeah i forget i'm an ADULT i can make my own decisions

you're probably way more mature than i am, but since i was 16 i've really liked one of the barmen i work with who's 7 years older than me
and we get along great, like probably better than any other guy i speak with but it's obvious we both are constantly thinking of the age gap and how we're in two completely different stages of life

you haven't even gone to uni yet, i dunno i just think it's a bad idea. saying that me and my guy never passed our friendship stage but still
woo h5
im on my 2nd year at college, got this year + next before uni (next year in college is equivalent to 1st year uni, so i'd be going straight in to my 2nd year) & i'll be 19 coming on 20 then, not a problem atm (he lives same town as my college is). i don't plan moving anywhere till then. sorry if that makes no sense, shattered >.> we might not even talk to each other by then.....
college atm doesn't get in the way of us
Well being old enough doesn't mean that's what he's looking to do especially if he's flinging appendages up a 17 year old, you should probably find out if that's even what he wants before worrying about it
oh yeah, was only thinking of myself there ;l

[Pyroka]

age gaps are nothing these days.

everytime i feel down im gonna look at this post and think

SCORE.

ONTOPIC jen u no i dont care about age gaps that much i mean my parents have a 10 yr age gap between them, maybe a bit more... but yeah. i dont care, live and let live is all i say, but if theyre not legal then i mean you gotta at least watch your step yknow.

[FlyingJesus]

college atm doesn't get in the way of us

He's not your tutor is he

[ChickenFaces]

It sounds kind of strange when people in their twenties are dating teenagers, but it's not as bad as everyone gets to their late twenties and thirties.

[KyoraStryker]

The rule is:

( Older Person's Age X 0.5 ) + 7 = Min. Acceptable Age.

Also known as the Meatball rule. The gap gets progressively larger as your age increases, due to the +7 part being a constant. It's perfectly acceptable for teens and young adults; say someone is 18. Half of 18 is nine; add seven and you get 16. Therefore, the minimum age for the 18-year old would be 16.

Consequentially, a 60-year old dating someone who's 37 is acceptable, according to the rule. On a side note (and a little bit of personal information), my dad was 62 when I was born. No lies; my mother had a thing for older men, and she was quite young when she gave birth to me.

In the end, it's all in the eye of the beholder. The socially accepted norm is that you date someone within your age group, although said groups are not definitive. In adulthood, a larger age gap is more acceptable than in teenage-hood, especially if someone who technically falls into the "adulthood" group is dating someone who isn't quite there yet.

[Alex3213]

It sounds kind of strange when people in their twenties are dating teenagers, but it's not as bad as everyone gets to their late twenties and thirties.

Yeah exactly I agree with this tbh. I think you gotta look at the future (kk that is the one time I will ever say that, you can't predict the future and you shouldn't make it rather than fate doing so) and just think "hmmmm, kk so when I'm 38 he'll be..." then whatever age he is (LOL that's short term memory for you). It'll probably actually not feel that bad! A lot of couples have relatively large or at least "bigger" age gaps- it's no problem. I say it doesn't matter, however the question is if you are ready for it.