Cancer

[Richie]

People say its one of the worst ways to die. I disagree, I'm not saying cancer is a walk in the park but I'd much rather die slowly of cancer, say goodbye to my family. Rather than storm out of my house tomorrow calling my brother a *****, then getting a bang of a bus.

As bad as cancer is it actually makes family's so much closer and you appreciate each other more. Someone really close to me died a good few years ago and during the process of them dying there was nothing but love.

It might sound weird but I actually preferred those days before the person passed away, obviously I miss them but I also miss when everyone would be just so close and look out for each other.

My question is, do you think cancer is really a 'horrible' way to die? or do you think like me, its one of the better ways to leave the world (if you know its there) because you can love and say goodbye to your family?

Edited by HotelUser (Forum Moderator): Thread moved from "Discuss Anything" as I feel it's more suited here.

[HotelUser]

I couldn't imagine anything worse than having to gradually endure the hope and life being sucked out of someone I loved more than everything else in the world. Where at the beginning of the illness they were so strong, hopefully and tangible, yet at the end filled with remorse, fear, pain and being completely alien due to how the disease has affected them.

No female on my Aunt's side of the family has lived past 60 due to cancer. Every blood relative in her family has contracted cancer at some time in their life. She has had cancer twice in the past and was about a year ago diagnosed with a fatal form of cancer. My uncle has the absolute biggest heart out of his other two brothers (one being my dad of course). Their son has a learning disability. I'm not sure what the exact name is, obviously this wasn't something I ever pressed to find information on. He goes to school, and is doing alright but he'll never be running as fast as the rest of us. He's very sheltered and he absolutely depends on his mother and father in most every aspect of his life. He doesn't know that she's dying. He only briefly knows of his mother's encounter with cancer in the past and his parents are, I understand, fairly vague about the ordeal. I can't imagine how difficult it is for my uncle taking care of my cousin, putting on a brave face and pretending like nothing bad is happening, when he knows the days he spends with his beautiful wife are numbered.

My aunt's side of the family has taken a lot of different social turns in the past too, and as result my mother doesn't get along with her. Moreover my uncle's not speaking to my mother because of her own marital problems so I only ever interweave, and briefly so, with what's happening with my aunt and cousin when I'm with my father.

Richard in my opinion it's a blessing that you do get to spend more time with a victim of cancer as opposed to someone who's died of another cause, although it's extremely bittersweet, and not always easy to see the silver lining in it.

[Samantha]

If you think about it, cancer isn't necessarily the end. This would make a good debate I'm sure (was reading davids reply and on this game someone won called 'corpse' freaky isn't it) anyway, cancer isn't always the end, I feel if you get hit by a bus at a fair speed, you are most likely to die, or suffer brain damage of some sort. But when cancer isn't fatal, then it can be treated, wheras, brain damage can't in some resepct.

A few months ago, I had a severe case of thanatophobia, I never really told anyone irl just online and sure enough I got out of it, I think, that some ways to die are inhumane and some aren't.

For example, suicide, I would never contemplate or question that, as my mum says, you are a coward for committing suicide, therefore, you should die by something you enjoy, in her case atm, smoking, but she is disabled so shouldn't really smoke..


Ok, I waffled on a bit too much.
I think actually knowing that you are going to die is better than not knowing, I would hate it if my Nanny just died like that - I thought she was going to die when she was in the hospital the other week, I started blubbering in ICT just expecting the worse, then it turns out, it wasn't anything wrong.
The reason why I would want to know if I or another was going to die is because, as said you can prepare for it, you can let out some grief beforehand and start imagining life when they aren't there, if it's just sudden you most likely will suffer from shock first, which will not help at all.
One way I do wish I would never die by, is fire, I just cannot imagine myself dying by that, or by drowning, luckily my ability to swim will help minimally but it's something.

I feel that my fear of fire came from years ago, as I was in Ingoldmells and there was a fire on the market, rumour has it, it started by a cigarette, but then I heard it started by a gas bottle. As I was staying in a caravan with gas bottles at the side, I was really scared. I got out of bed when I heard my parents come in at 12:15am, and they allowed me to stay in their room, I wanted to be in the middle as I thought the gas bottle would explode and at least I had two shields around me, later that night/morning, I woke up, and I wasn't in the middle, I was nearest to the gas bottles, so I woke my parents up and regained the first positions.
Anyway, I feel my fear came from that, as when I went home, I had to make sure I had something around me in bed, I used to be enclosed, I used to never want to be alone.
So that's why I would never wish to die by fire. I don't think dying by fire is a very justifiable way!

[Conservative,]

Cancer is merciful compared to something like altzheimers. Cancer you know you're going to die (unless it's not fatal) and you know what is going on, you can leave behind your loved ones with sweet memories and you can go and do things you want.

Altzeimers or similar is a much nastier disease. My grandmother had a similar disease and she thought my mother was her sister and she eventually died by starving herself pretty much. You're confused and don't understand what's going on and it's very upsetting for the family.

So IMO there are worse ways to die.

[Inseriousity.]

I suppose the key word though really is 'one of'. I'd personally like to know that I was going to die but still have the time left to sort everything out, which getting hit by a bus or dying peacefully in your sleep doesn't really allow you to do that. However, that being said, I'm not suffering from a terminal illness so I couldn't say that'd be the better option because for all I know, it could be worse.

I think the phrase 'there are worse ways to die' is foolish really. Death is painful (possibly not to the person who dies but to the people who are left behind), cruel but a fact of life that we can't really avoid. I think it'd be heartless to go to someone who's grieving and say 'well there are worse ways they could've gone like being hit by a bus.' It still has similar effects, no matter how it happens.