i miss her :(

[danzooo]

This is the first time I've ever said this, or even put it down, so it feels slightly strange as I've put it off and ignored it recently.

A few weeks ago, my girlfriend and I broke up.

We'd been together for about 17 months.

The reason for this is that we were seeing very little of each other recently - she had college during the day, I was at school, I work at nights and she works during the day at the weekend, the kind of "butterfly and the moth" type affair. It was also due to the fact that there was something not quite right about us anymore - we went out for a meal the night before we broke up and it was almost awkward. She was also having problems at home and the dreaded prelims/exams are just around the corner and neither of us could be doing with the added stress of each other, so we mutually (however reluctantly) decided to end it there.

At first, we were fine, but then we started to fall out for numerous reasons.

Then, a few Saturdays ago, I was uptown and after the nightclub closed at about 2am and everyone got chucked out, I, in my drunken stupor, approached her and tried talking to her, to which she replied rather promptly with "**** off dan" quoth she.

It was a real eyeopener at that moment to see what we'd went from, to what we were now, and it made me feel sad.

The next day we argued even more, over text, over the phone, on Facebook chat even, and her immaturity really began to shine through when she kept having little digs at me here and there, even though I was ignoring her. It eventually came to the point where I told her to go away (although it was a slightly ruder rendition of this, featuring the "f" word). Then she really took the biscuit, and deleted me from everything; facebook, my number, msn, every means I could contact her.

Of course, that was a good fortnight ago and I haven't spoken to her since. I've always displayed myself as not bothered about it and happy that she is gone and out of my life, I can't help but feel recently like I miss her. I always remember the times we had, the memories we share, and just how damn close we were - she wasn't just my girlfriend, she was my best friend also.

Often I check her facebook wall just to see what she's saying. What she's been doing. Who she's talking to, and it truly breaks my heart to see her talking to all these random boys all of a sudden.

Basically, the advice I need is that classic age old question - how do I get over her? There's no way we'd be able to get back together, not after everything (and not that I'd want to anyway) but I can't help but still love her and care for her the way I always have.

Please help :(

[wixard]

first of all :'( this is so sad. i'm sorry buddy

i went through a similar breakup but kinda cut and paste the roles a bit, he broke up with ME the reasons being that i was 'too immature' even though i'm about 9 months older than him and was a year ahead... :S but it was basically the same, things weren't right and we'd fight and i'd say things that really hurt him just to try make myself feel better. checked his fb every day after that and like a month later he had a new girlfriend and it hurtttt and i missed him

but i got over it. we're actually friends now, i know you don't wanna hear this but it takes TIME. right now you'll probably feel like you'll never get over her and you know what... theres probably always gonna be a little part of you thats holding on cos sometimes i see pictures of him with his current girlfriend and i'm like ow

but it gets easier and easier over the months, and in my opinion when you find another girl you'll properly move on.. but you'll compare her to your ex girlfriend so try to limit that as much as possible or you're just gonna make moving on harder for yourself

[Mark]

I am sorry to hear this, As I have said in a few other forums is... Just find an activity your good at or enjoy and stick to it. For Example: Sports - Football Club, Video Gaming - try and achieve levels etc. It can be as simples as going out with mates and meeting new people! That will take your mind off it and in time you will get over her.

[Eoin247]

I'm sorry you had to go through this man, its a sad story allright :(

I suppose the best advice i could give from my experiences is that time heals all wounds. Right now you guys haven't been too long broken up so the memories are still quite fresh. Give it time and slowly try talking to her a bit again , not to get together neccesarily but to become freinds at least.

Failing that just go out dating with other girls again, chances are you'll find a girl you like better and that will make you get over the previous one.

[@K]

My girlfriend and I recently broke up aswell, and today has been the best/easiest one so far. Basically, my mate who I haven't seen for three and a half months (he's been doing his army training in ITC) has been back and I've just spent the whole evening and night with him, remenissing about 'old times' etc. and it has really taken my mind off of my ex. So I'm just trying to suggest spending time with a friend who means a lot to you, which is what I have done, as just like you I still love and care for her, but unlike you I want her back.

[Narnat,]

It's completely natural to still have feelings for her and for you to feel down about it as 17 months if a fair amount of time for you guys to become close. However if you want to keep her off your mind then you need to keep yourself busy. The only way you will stop thinking about her is if your thinking about something else and your mind is somewhere else and then eventually you will stop thinking about her, maybe not completely because they way you described it, that you both were really close but it will stop you from thinking about her as often. You never know what the future holds and their is no point in letting someone hold you back from experiencing it. Hah you may have another Girl friend you never know. Good Luck!

[,Lexiilu]

first of all :'( this is so sad. i'm sorry buddy


this first of all!
i'm so sorry! that's absolutely horrible that she would go and do that to you.
anyways i had a similar problem. i didn't even get a reason as to why i was dumped (after 11 months lol....) and then a couple months ago he started dating one of my best friends. and on top of that he said he had liked her since 6th grade...i was like 'okay thats cool but we dated within that time so are you saying you liked her all while we were dating and never told me orrrrrrrrrrrrrr"
honestly now that its been almost a year since our breakup i'm over him. he's happy with her now and i've tried to move on many times and of course i still really cared about him for a long long long time after that but honestly, you start to get over it after awhile. i know it sounds pathetic, but i started doubting our relationship and how good we were together about 9 months after. it does take a longggggggg time. they say that the time you date someone, it takes between half to the same amount of time to get over him. i think i really started moving on about 2 months ago from him and i'm off on my own now. you just need to keep to yourself, away from girls for awhile until you know you're ready (or you might end up with some really big mistakes that you'll regret in the future.....) and let yourself heal. unfortunately i didn't really let myself heal and i rushed into some short, bad, regretful relationships. just wait it out and i promise, it does get better :)

[Callum.]

time.

seriously. my situation is totally different to yours but i checked her facebook all the time and it really did hurt to see guys commenting with hearts and that, knowing i could do nothing but it's all about time.