Male trouble sadly

[Macey]

Lately my boyfriend has been driving me round the bend so to speak!
Were both 19, full time workers whos shifts sadly mean we spend alot less time together as we used to at the start of the relationship (8months+) but lately we have become distant and everything we do irritates each other.

Hes never been the 'romantic type' (his idea of a date is COD) and hes a blunt individual (if he thinks something looks ugly on me he WILL say I look ugly in it or if hes angry he will tell me to shut my backside up)

The other day he told me that he thinks im a (alternative name for a cat) and always jokes to his mates about my looks and degrading me infront of them all the time. I rang him today after work since i really wanted to speak to him about private matters at home but all he did was call me offensive names and i could hear a group of lads laughing in the background.

I pay for meals out, I always travel to his place (baring in mind hes been to mine what 5 times in 8months) and I keep my distance when needed (girly nights out, he has his mates round)

Im just starting to feel he doesnt take me or the relationship seriously, what do you guys think?

[dirrty]

discuss how you feel with him, if he doesn't care/change then end it.

[ChickenFaces]

I'm going to be really serious here, if he doesn't care about the relationship now he most likely won't care too much later on. Tell him if he doesn't shape up he'll be short a girlfriend and he'll just have sausage fests for a long time. No girl deserves a guy like that, no matter what you deserve someone that appreciates you and loves you and wants to be around you and not his friends. And when he's with his friends he doesn't speak about you like a piece of meat. It's not right. You'll find someone so much better and when you do, you'll look back at that idiot that's still playing COD and say: Lol what a loser.

[lol]

you can do better.
you should do better.

[Neversoft]

you can do better.
you should do better.

Indeed. Sounds to me like he doesn't deserve someone like you.

[Fiendly]

discuss how you feel with him, if he doesn't care/change then end it.

Sometimes change doesn't happen so quickly.
But I do agree with you, talk to him about it.. Have a proper discussion and if he doesn't take interest and seems to keep going..

Then find someone else or 'take a break'.

[Stephen]

why ask what we think after summing up an arse__

[FlyingJesus]

we have become distant and everything we do irritates each other.

You kinda summed it up yourself, why would you stay in a situation like that?

[Samantha]

discuss how you feel with him, if he doesn't care/change then end it.

I think she tried to talk to him and he called her offensive names.

I think he's in the stage where his friends come before you. He may have grown up in a rough household and he may think it's the norm to treat people he loves like crap. However, that is not the way and as it seems you can't speak to him as he appears abusive to you then the other option is to end it. You've been together a fairly long time and now he should know everything about you, he should want to spend time with you for no particular reason, he should make the effort and if he can't do that then so be it. He will have to face the consequences. Just remember, it's not your fault because if it does end he could always try place the blame on you.
Then there is that moment after the break up where it may hit him hard. He may beg you to take him back, he may beg you that he will change, but usually that doesn't last, it may change for a couple of weeks or months then something happens what gets him back on the band wagon with his friends.
Just do what you think is right.

[Catzsy]

I am normally one to suggest discussing what you have said here with him but on this occasion I would say he is not worth it as he presently is. No-one should treat anybody like that - it's just a one way relationship. He has no respect and you most definitely deserve better. He needs dumping from a high place. Perhaps he will come to his senses then.

[Chris]

No way anyone should be treated like that! Give him the boot and then see how he feels.

[Narnat,]

A relationship isn't anything without both putting in the effort and it is clear that he isn't. I think it's disgusting what he does to you in front of his friends and he needs a good kick up the ass. I would say he isn't worth it and maybe use have become too distant. I would suggest try and talk to him but I think he seems violent with the way he was described. Good luck.

[hairpins]

maybe if hez onli been 2 yur house tht many timez cuz he dunt lyke ur parents or hez skared bi them
other than that he soundz quite normal PMSL?

if yew arent happi with him buy a cat or nail n bail

[Gibs960]

Leave him, he sounds like a ****!

You can do better!

And after all there is plenty-o-fish! :)

[Nicola]

Like others have said, talk to him about it. If he dismisses it or decides he isn't going to change then maybe he isn't right for you. You don't deserve to be treated like that and if he can't see that it is wrong then it's up to you to decide whether you want to leave him.

Maybe if you do leave him he'll realise what an idiot he was and he may change and things could work out for you two. Sometimes it takes losing something to realise what you really had.

[Macey]

Update:

Thankyou for all the replies guys! I spoke to him about it and he said I was over reacting, so I thought mhmm so ive just sat back abit and watched closely what happens next, I havent seen him alot again he cancelled our plans the other night to go to his mates house so I decided to go on a girly night out for a couple of drinks but then today he took me for a meal for an hour or two then went off god knows were again, hopefully I will see him tomorrow if not sometime next week! Confusing or what its asif he wants me when he can be bothered, but at same time we've been together for so long and have lived together thinking of life without him is impossible if that makes sense.

[Nemo]

Update:

Thankyou for all the replies guys! I spoke to him about it and he said I was over reacting, so I thought mhmm so ive just sat back abit and watched closely what happens next, I havent seen him alot again he cancelled our plans the other night to go to his mates house so I decided to go on a girly night out for a couple of drinks but then today he took me for a meal for an hour or two then went off god knows were again, hopefully I will see him tomorrow if not sometime next week! Confusing or what its asif he wants me when he can be bothered, but at same time we've been together for so long and have lived together thinking of life without him is impossible if that makes sense.
He knows he's got you wrapped around his finger. Your response to when he said that you were over reacting should have been "Well then we're finished", and frankly was what i was expecting. And by you not saying that, its made it even clearer to him that you feel like you need him (which you do since you even said it). i honestly think you've had enough of watching him and whatnot. You've clearly got an attachment for him whilst he just has you because he can (obviously likes/wants the sexual side, and doesnt care about your emotional side). Ditch him and get someone you deserve (eg. anyone else).

[FlyingJesus]

we've been together for so long and have lived together thinking of life without him is impossible if that makes sense.

This is what's known as "toxic love" and is not something you want to get tangled up in. I know all too well that it's not easy to let go when you've been with someone for a long time, but if it's not doing you any favours then staying in the relationship just because it's comfortable or you're used to it and don't want to have to deal with the changes afterwards is a very bad idea and will ultimately leave you far more damaged the longer it goes on

[kuzkasate]

No offence, but he acts like a **** towards you, but hey, you cant help who you like! If he said you was "over reacting" then give him the silent treatment for a few days and act kinda cold with him, look at how he reacts. If he really loves you he will apologise and try make it up to you, if he doesnt, he will just be like "dya know what, cba." I think he feels as if he "owns" you (not sure if thats the right word to use) but basically, he feels as if hes in control of you, he can make jokes and stuff, but tbh, thats not jokes. If he literally takes the piss out of you infront of his mates, that is abuse.