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View Full Version : Have I totally messed up with a friend?



-Adam
19-02-2011, 04:02 PM
Well, 4 years ago we were together, boyfriend & girlfriend. I finished her after 4 months, then about 5 months ago we got back together and she finishd me after a day, told me show loved me the night after she finished me but wouldnt get back with me, :/, then got with somebody else the next day.

We werent speaking for about 2 months after this, but I started speaking to her and we got quite close as friend. But then we started arguing, very constantly, such as every 2 days or so. After ever argument we sorted it out, but the same kept happening. Then the arguments stopped for maybe 3 weeks or so, but then 2 weeks ago, we hade the biggest argument we had, insulting eachother with harsh insults, names, etc... (this argument was because i said something about her behind her back) but once again sorted out (she asked me about 10 times to be mates again, said she didnt care if I said stuff behind her back, she would put up with anything to be mates with me). Then exactly a week later exactly the same thing happened, and we said we could give it one last try.

I started most of the arguments I admit, because I get really paranoid at the smallest things, and kept having a go at her because she kept putting one words when we talked across msn, text eachother etc, and then I started saying she didnt want to be mates with me, told her to tell me instead of pretending she did. Iv told her I get paranoid about the one words etc...

Anyway, the argument that happened a week later, I said she didnt want to me by mate and she said something along the lines 'i really do want to be mates with you, i really like talking to you and seeing you at school, and everyday we talk and text it gives a good end to the day'... and thats when we said one last try.

Anyway, Wednesday night the same thing happened. The one words, me getting paranoid, me saying she doesnt wanna be mates and stuff like that, and then she said 'im gonna stop speaking to you, is obviously what you want, bye you pathetic paranoid ****' then blocked me from MSN, Deleted & blocked me off facebook and blocked my number. Then the next day at school, she just looked at me and shook her head, then I found out from a friend of hers that she thought i was looking at her and trying to get a reaction. The only contact I have is through one of my other mates.

I want nothing more than to be her mate, but I havnt spoke to her since wednesday night... is there anyway I can stop being so paranoid :S? I get paranoid at the smallest things... and have I really messed things up with her for good?

Hushy
19-02-2011, 04:25 PM
Im sure she will come around eventually, just give it time. Me and my ex used to argue all the time when we wasnt seeing each other. Just try and speak with her and tell her that you didnt want this to happen and explain how you feel. If she isnt interested then perhaps you should accept things and look to the future?

ben
19-02-2011, 04:27 PM
Let me guess you're about 13 years old

Mark
19-02-2011, 04:35 PM
Are you serious? Grow up and think about it from a mature point of view. If it doesn't work the second or third time, move on. The same with being mates. How can she be a good mate if it always ends up arguing? I would advise staying away from eachother and not communicating with eachother at all, time is the biggest healer.

Stephen
19-02-2011, 04:38 PM
Oh I get really bad paranoia too with small things but I think that's just cos it's linked with something else I have but still same thingggggg. You should give it a break and try to sort it out or just move on cos you're just gonna repeat the exact same thing. You say you won't do it again but you will. Your stomach sinks to the floor and then it becomes an instant reaction to say something cos you need to know if it's true

-Adam
19-02-2011, 04:49 PM
Let me guess you're about 13 years old

16 :/

@markypee4 i already trid not communicating, didnt work after 2 months so gave up with that 1

@Stephen! yeahh, i know i should move on but the fact is i cant :/

ben
19-02-2011, 04:57 PM
16 :/

@markypee4 i already trid not communicating, didnt work after 2 months so gave up with that 1

@Stephen! yeahh, i know i should move on but the fact is i cant :/




oh....... lol
Well this is unusual for someone above 14

-Adam
19-02-2011, 05:11 PM
oh....... lol
Well this is unusual for someone above 14

haha, which bit?

FlyingJesus
19-02-2011, 05:19 PM
If you go mental at her for not giving instant essay answers to you then why would she want to be your friend? I'm not even sure what you're being paranoid about in this instance, is she not allowed to be doing things other than talk incessantly to you? Also the fact that you "went out" when you were 12 has no bearing on this as hopefully you're both different people now than who you were 4 years ago

-Adam
19-02-2011, 05:25 PM
If you go mental at her for not giving instant essay answers to you then why would she want to be your friend? I'm not even sure what you're being paranoid about in this instance, is she not allowed to be doing things other than talk incessantly to you? Also the fact that you "went out" when you were 12 has no bearing on this as hopefully you're both different people now than who you were 4 years ago

yes i understand what you mean, but i always make the effort to try and speak to her and all i get back is ok/yes/no/lol, constantly. + as for the last bit, i know, just thought id give a bit of background info :P

Matthew
19-02-2011, 06:18 PM
Not being rude or anything, but I wouldn't really want to be friends with someone who argues with me all the time :P
I would just move on, she obviously doesn't 'bring out the best in you', so as others said above I would just give it some time and see if she wants to give it 'another last try'.

Good luck!

Catzsy
19-02-2011, 06:26 PM
I think you are fearful of change. This relationship sounds like a habit to me which although doesn't sound good at least it's something. One thing I have learned is that basically you should not put up with this crap - what's the point? Tell her straight and if she won't compromise take the short term hurt for the long term gain.

e5
19-02-2011, 06:54 PM
Girls are like that... they just want your attention, and when you give them it, they will come around...

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