Age gaps & help!

[Conservative,]

Okay, 2 things.

Firstly, what age gaps for relationships do you think are acceptable? I think threads have asked this before but I kinda need opinions on this:

This girl I like is 16 1/2, and I was 15 last month. We see each other twice a week, and I guess we're good friends but I haven't been talking to her for that long. I only got her number last week (although we've been texting basically 24/7 since).
The only thing stopping me asking her out is the age difference. She's in 6th form I'm in year 10 - but different schools - so it wouldn't be as bad as going to the same school but I still think it would be quite awkward.

So you think it could work? :/ advice etc?

And what you think are the maximum age gaps?

thanks :)

[Nemo]

depends on the age, for exmaple a 40 yr old going out with a 30 yr old is totally alright, but a 16 year old going out with a 6 year old well.... yeah.

But yeh i probably wouldnt. As a guy i probably wouldnt go out with a year 10 girl, nevermind a girl going out with a year 10 guy. But i mean i wouldnt say absolutely no.

Also some girl in my year went out with a year 9 guy, but then he was apparently like a man already (taller than me, voice broken, has a beard n all that) so i guess people wouldnt have noticed.

Either way i'd say i wouldnt with you, simply because its a girl who's older and whilst i dont mind if a girl is older, most are.

[Conservative,]

depends on the age, for exmaple a 40 yr old going out with a 30 yr old is totally alright, but a 16 year old going out with a 6 year old well.... yeah.

But yeh i probably wouldnt. As a guy i probably wouldnt go out with a year 10 girl, nevermind a girl going out with a year 10 guy. But i mean i wouldnt say absolutely no.

Also some girl in my year went out with a year 9 guy, but then he was apparently like a man already (taller than me, voice broken, has a beard n all that) so i guess people wouldnt have noticed.

Either way i'd say i wouldnt with you, simply because its a girl who's older and whilst i dont mind if a girl is older, most are.

I'm kinda confused by your post? But I'm taller than her and stuff...if that's what you're saying?

[benjamin]

it's not a massive gap - so go for it, why not? nothing's stopping you. only thing is, girls don't often tend to go for younger guys at that age.

[Conservative,]

it's not a massive gap - so go for it, why not? nothing's stopping you. only thing is, girls don't often tend to go for younger guys at that age.

That's what I thought. Plus it's 2 years at school, which at our age is quite big...idk... :/

[Deak]

I reckon that it doesnt matter about any age gap (apart from the example above 16yr old with a 6 yr old) and it just really depends on how well they get on.

[matt$]

Theres a few girls @ my college that go our with guys at a similar age, so yea might aswell go for it although if she says no it'll be an awkward friendship.

[PaulB]

I'm 20 and my girlfriends 17. Lads tend to go for younger lasses and lasses tend to go for older lads. Well that's the case round here.

[Nemo]

I'm kinda confused by your post? But I'm taller than her and stuff...if that's what you're saying?
Im saying that i wouldnt because shes the one whos older, and in school, 2 years is quite a big difference.

[wixard]

*REMOVED*

Edited by Phil (Forum Manager): Content removed as requested by user.

[Conservative,]

Theres a few girls @ my college that go our with guys at a similar age, so yea might aswell go for it although if she says no it'll be an awkward friendship.

That's what I'm worried about. And considering I don't have a choice on seeing her or not twice a week, right now it's great because we can talk etc. but if she said no...it'd be awkward and probably ruin our friendship.

and @Nemo oh okay makes sense now. Yeah I agree 2 years is a big difference...but if I waited...well, when? Because she goes to Uni in September next year, then by the time I've finished Uni, she'll be nearly 23 and probably have a job and we'll have probably lost contact :/

---------- Post added 20-03-2011 at 09:52 PM ----------

Oh also, any ways to ask her out if I were too? I'm really crap at asking girls out :/

[Nemo]

That's what I'm worried about. And considering I don't have a choice on seeing her or not twice a week, right now it's great because we can talk etc. but if she said no...it'd be awkward and probably ruin our friendship.

and @Nemo oh okay makes sense now. Yeah I agree 2 years is a big difference...but if I waited...well, when? Because she goes to Uni in September next year, then by the time I've finished Uni, she'll be nearly 23 and probably have a job and we'll have probably lost contact :/

---------- Post added 20-03-2011 at 09:52 PM ----------

Oh also, any ways to ask her out if I were too? I'm really crap at asking girls out :/
Well i mean you could go for it, i wouldnt be expecting it to last long if she was gonna go to uni. you might enjoy having her more as a friend idk.


But if you really wanna, just casually ask her to go somewhere, dont be like "hi go out with me" or be like "hey wanna go on a date to blahblah". Just ask her to go somewhere, set the tone inititally. Make sure theres lots of like touching and if shes responsive to the touching (i dont mean dirty btw, you know what i mean though), then go for a kiss. Wouldnt leave a kiss to the end or 'for another time', now or never type thing.

[lawrawrrr]

I never saw age gaps as that big a deal tbh, the only relationship I had with someone younger than me was a bit of a fail - they were really immature for me (this was when I was 16), it just fizzled out. Older guys seem more mature to me, more my type

Also thinking about the future is pretty bad... I mean there's a while to go yet, and it can really destroy futures if you start thinking about what MIGHT happen...

Asking a girl out... I always find the best way is to like talk to her and then once you know that you've both developed an 'attraction' then just try and gently see how she feels! Would work for me XD

[Conservative,]

Well i mean you could go for it, i wouldnt be expecting it to last long if she was gonna go to uni. you might enjoy having her more as a friend idk.


But if you really wanna, just casually ask her to go somewhere, dont be like "hi go out with me" or be like "hey wanna go on a date to blahblah". Just ask her to go somewhere, set the tone inititally. Make sure theres lots of like touching and if shes responsive to the touching (i dont mean dirty btw, you know what i mean though), then go for a kiss. Wouldnt leave a kiss to the end or 'for another time', now or never type thing.

Well we might be going out together next week because idk we were just texting about some film she was watching then I told her about a sequel and she's like "I gotta get that" then I was like "Can I come?" and she was like "yh" so okay that's cool thanks :)


I never saw age gaps as that big a deal tbh, the only relationship I had with someone younger than me was a bit of a fail - they were really immature for me (this was when I was 16), it just fizzled out. Older guys seem more mature to me, more my type

Also thinking about the future is pretty bad... I mean there's a while to go yet, and it can really destroy futures if you start thinking about what MIGHT happen...

Asking a girl out... I always find the best way is to like talk to her and then once you know that you've both developed an 'attraction' then just try and gently see how she feels! Would work for me XD

Hmm, good point. Thanks Laura :)

[Soy]

man has to be older than the girl

i'm 18 atm so i'd go 16-18

[Richie]

If there is grass on the pitch play ball.

On a serious note, it's nothing really. If you like the girl don't hold back because she's two years older than you (Paedophiles step back, that doesn't mean you 40 year old men can go out with 12 year olds) Why waste a great opportunity? I know it's a little scary to think this far ahead but if you're still with her in years to come you'll laugh at doubting her just because of her age. Your friends throw sligh remarks at you? more than likely jelous, that you are getting some and they aint. I say go for it and screw the age difference.

[velvet]

two years is absolutely nothing, go for it.

[Kronics]

Just go for it!!!!! When I was in school i was a Year 9 and I went out it with a Year 11 xD

[dbgtz]

I personally see 2 school years as huge, especially considering shes in 6th form. That saying a year 11 went out with a year 8 in my school so meh.

[Gibs960]

I suppose it's about maturity, if you're a really immature year 10 then you shouldn't, if you're "mature" then you should do it! I suppose it's like my brother asking out a sixth former, but he's really immature!

[Misawa]

Age gap is only a problem when they're under 16 and you're 18 or over.

[Hayleigh]

in school years 2 years older and then by age 1 1/2 years older. I'd say go for it! (:

[Chris]

I think this small age gap is totally acceptable. I say go for it! (Y)

[Narnat,]

I think age gaps can be a good thing. Also I think older people e.g. late 20's 30's can get away with it more I mean most parents have a fair gap between them my mum and dad have a 4 year gap and that hasn't stopped them so a 1 year gap shouldn't stop you. If you like her then go with it you can't help who you fall in love with.

[..ValOwnsYou..]

Well, when your younger age gaps are sort of more of a problem tbh .
When your older it wont matter (example a 35 year old woman dating a 45 year old man)
i find it sort of awkward because girls dont go for guys who are younger.

[StripedTiger]

its not really us you should be asking on age gaps its her :P different girls have different opinions. but you do realise if anything sexually happened, there would be a problem if your parents didnt agree... you know all this "shes over age - hes underage" blah blah stuff.

but as for my opinion in age gaps.. i dont really have a limit. Thats because im older than you and in the "adult" world of dating. Someone i like is 15 years older than me and if they wanted a relationship with me i wouldnt see 15 years difference an issue..

[PaulMacC]

I'm 20 and my girlfriends 17. Lads tend to go for younger lasses and lasses tend to go for older lads. Well that's the case round here.
My girlfriend is 4 days older than me, foreveralone.jpg