School advice

[Richie]

Hey,
I need advice. I haven't been to school in ages. The reasoning behind it is. I got held back a year because I didn't go in because I was dumb. Last year was okay because my mates where in school just in a different year, this year has been a disaster, all my friends have left school, I don't really get on well with anyone in my year and I just feel embarrassed because I'm on my own most of the time and it's hard to fit in with a new group.


The only days I like going into school is when there isn't huge lunch breaks because no-one has time to chat, we just do work. Obviously this is rare so I have barely been in school this year. I have my big exams in like three months which basically lead my future. I don't know what to do and when anyone talks to me about it I shut it out and get upset.

I've tried to speak to people like my family members and friends, one friends understand, he says "It's your life man, if your not happy, do what makes you feel happy". I've spoken to my sister and my mam and they just say "It's your fault, you'll need to do these exams eventually". I don't want sympathy but no-one seems to understand how hard it is to actually go into school. You try to go into school and sit on your own, feel embarrassed and left out.

I don't want to be an embarrassment to my family and the world. I'd much rather live on the street than accept the dole (with all respect to anyone on the dole). I want to finish school but now I've heard practicals and orals are coming up which are like 10 - 20% of my exam. Most of the people in my year are finished I haven't even started.


Irish Oral
Engineering (I don't even know how to work the machines no mind build a mini truck the works)
Geography - I love geography but I think it may be too late to start my project
Music - I have to play three songs with an instrument and I can't play an instrument. (I'm not even sure if this has been done yet)


All the rest of the exams are written exams in June. Any time I go in I have people on my back, I don't want it easy but I feel like telling them to shut the hell up. I've spoken to my principal and he said we are glad you're back. They think I just felt like giving up, it isn't that, it's the fact that I'm embarrassed to go to school because I have no friends.


It's not like I haven't tried, people in that year already have "groups" formed. You need to bear in mind they have been a "group" for four years before I knew them. Some of them even go back ten years. It's really difficult and I don't know what to do. The more I talk and think about it the angrier and more upset I get.


I do have friends, just not in school. It's really weird, two years ago I was pretty popular and everyone love my humour and just thought I was a very nice guy. I was pretty popular. Now I have no-one in my year because I'm kind of stuck in a position where I can't be myself. It sounds silly but it's true.


I have told my Principal, year head and teachers many times "I'm not going to miss any more days" I try for a week but then it just all caves in again. I feel people have given up on me, I don't blame them, I'm an idiot. I understand school is about education not friends but as I said you try sit alone for 40 minutes of school and watch everyone talking to their friends, having lunch with their friends and just having a general conversation.


I'm pretty much screwed, I don't know what to do. Don't go taking the piss I just have spilled my emotions to tones of people on an online forum. It's not like I've told anyone how I really feel other than two friends in real life.



+rep to any helpful advice,
Rich.

[prettyhotpixie]

you should go into your school with your head held up high, dont be upset if anyone is going to comment on you in any ways. and try and fit in with the right people, dont mix with the wrong kind, and you should just go with your word, dont miss anymore days, because as you have got big exams coming up soon you need to crack down with your work. so as i said, if anyone laughs or talks about you behind your back of some sort, make sure you just ignore them, thats the best way:)

[Nemo]

Retake the year.

[Richie]

Retake the year.

Don't mean to sound stubborn but that really isn't an option. I'm not repeating a year with people 2 years younger than me and having to face all that again.

[prettyhotpixie]

take me advice, if you like :)

[Nemo]

Don't mean to sound stubborn but that really isn't an option. I'm not repeating a year with people 2 years younger than me and having to face all that again.
Then there is no options or nothing to discuss. You work your balls off from here on in, or you quit it completely. No more days off, no taking time off, weekends, everyday you gotta work. Sorry to say it but the hxf job has gotta go.

Get your **** together and just DO IT. No other advice you gonna get thats gonna help you anymore, its down to you and what you can do.

[Richie]

Then there is no options or nothing to discuss. You work your balls off from here on in, or you quit it completely. No more days off, no taking time off, weekends, everyday you gotta work. Sorry to say it but the hxf job has gotta go.

Get your **** together and just DO IT. No other advice you gonna get thats gonna help you anymore, its down to you and what you can do.


Yes I know that I just don't know what to do, If I go in tomorrow they'll be like who the **** are you? How am I meant to stick the remainder months sat on my own for 40 minutes a day "boo who, its not a big deal" 40 minutes feels like hours..

[Nemo]

Yes I know that I just don't know what to do, If I go in tomorrow they'll be like who the **** are you? How am I meant to stick the remainder months sat on my own for 40 minutes a day "boo who, its not a big deal" 40 minutes feels like hours..
Wait its only 40 mins a day? And who cares what they think, just go in. Look, let me put your options simply for you;

a) Go in, dont care what anyone says, get on with your work and be a success.
b) Dont go in, fail your exams and be a failure.
c) Retake the year.


Take your pick.

[e5]

What I have quoted is right tbh :) You need to have no fear of having no friends - Focus on your work and not the social aspect of it.
Spend your lunch times in the library or wherever doing work and it should all be okay for you. You have friends out of school to socialise with after.
Or try adding a few people on facebook, girls etc? get chatting to them, you may get yourself a girlfriend ;)

Wait its only 40 mins a day? And who cares what they think, just go in. Look, let me put your options simply for you;

a) Go in, dont care what anyone says, get on with your work and be a success.
b) Dont go in, fail your exams and be a failure.
c) Retake the year.


Take your pick.

[Neversoft]

Just go in and get it over with would be my ideology. It will benefit you greatly. If you don't want to socialise with anyone and they don't want to socialise with you then just go for a walk or something, company isn't always needed and school doesn't last forever.

[ben]

just get through these last months and it will be fine as college/sixth is alot different

[Roxy]

Isn't there anything else you can do for those 40 minutes? Perhaps go to the library and catch up on work or arrange something with your teachers for extra tuition or w.e to help you catch up on all of the work you've missed. Idk what facilities your school has but at mine you're allowed to use the music rooms and practice rooms during lunch to practice instruments so if you're really behind on music/learning an instrument, perhaps spend the time focusing on that.

If you can find something you enjoy doing time usually goes a lot faster and if it helps you with your schoolwork at the same time then that'd be a bonus. As for the rest of it, you can't really do much other than grit your teeth and get on with it.

[Richie]

just get through these last months and it will be fine as college/sixth is alot different

I suppose it kind of is sixth form atm, after this it's either uni or work.



Thanks for the advice all, +rep.


Going back to school tomorrow, not going to use the forum much any more, maybe for breaks between revision.

---------- Post added 29-03-2011 at 09:00 PM ----------


Isn't there anything else you can do for those 40 minutes? Perhaps go to the library and catch up on work or arrange something with your teachers for extra tuition or w.e to help you catch up on all of the work you've missed. Idk what facilities your school has but at mine you're allowed to use the music rooms and practice rooms during lunch to practice instruments so if you're really behind on music/learning an instrument, perhaps spend the time focusing on that.

If you can find something you enjoy doing time usually goes a lot faster and if it helps you with your schoolwork at the same time then that'd be a bonus. As for the rest of it, you can't really do much other than grit your teeth and get on with it.


Thanks roxy, they don't let us use rooms during the lunch break. I'll just study in the hall or something.

[Firework.]

Awww richie you're so cute.
I remember in primary school, I only had one friend and one day my bestfriend had to leave and never see me again,
It was such short notice i just didnt know what to do, i didnt really have any other friends, and everyone had their own "groups"

But I knew i had to do something, i just walked upto some people who seemed really nice and just spoke to them, made them laugh and stuff until finally i started to fit in.

It will take a bit of time richie, but you just have to be your confident funny self as usual cause that's the best you can be.

[17-jamie-17]

You need to bite the bullet, knuckle down and get it done, just go do it. and then come home. its either that or retaking, but as you said thatd just be really difficult.
YE LIKE DIONNE SAID, BE WHO YOU ARE WITH US, everyone will love you ;o
you know im here to talk man. x

[VelvetClover]

I'm sure this is very difficult for you but school will be over before you know it just do the work and pass the exams and then you can leave it behind you.

[AgnesIO]

I will start off here. I adore your thoughts towards rather being on the streets than on the dole. Repped for that.

Now. I would not even bother with your trial on HxF - if you want to continue it after your exams, feel free - however surely the next 60/70/80/80 years of your life must come first! I know it is difficult, however just try and ignore what others think. Does your school have any 'extra-curricular' clubs? It may seem 'nerdy' but you are likely to be accepted in to those - I know my school has a PE club every lunch time, a music club every lunch time, drama/art/dance clubs every lunch time - and most of our teachers are more than happy to spend time with you if you really want to succeed. I would seriously just go in, ignore what others think and just think 'two months and this could all be over' - otherwise you will have yet another 14 months of it. I have never been in your situation, as I am fortunate enough to be a very intelligent person - and to be honest, I haven't really worked hard for it - I take things for granted far more than I should.

Good luck mate x

[Richie]

I'm sure this is very difficult for you but school will be over before you know it just do the work and pass the exams and then you can leave it behind you.



I will start off here. I adore your thoughts towards rather being on the streets than on the dole. Repped for that.

Now. I would not even bother with your trial on HxF - if you want to continue it after your exams, feel free - however surely the next 60/70/80/80 years of your life must come first! I know it is difficult, however just try and ignore what others think. Does your school have any 'extra-curricular' clubs? It may seem 'nerdy' but you are likely to be accepted in to those - I know my school has a PE club every lunch time, a music club every lunch time, drama/art/dance clubs every lunch time - and most of our teachers are more than happy to spend time with you if you really want to succeed. I would seriously just go in, ignore what others think and just think 'two months and this could all be over' - otherwise you will have yet another 14 months of it. I have never been in your situation, as I am fortunate enough to be a very intelligent person - and to be honest, I haven't really worked hard for it - I take things for granted far more than I should.

Good luck mate x


Thanks I went back in the end, everything seems fine now, been studying and I believe I can do well in my exams, we don't have any clubs during break. Years ago there used to be a chess club but that stopped so there is nothing really, I'm just going to deal with it. I'd much prefer it to be 3 months of hell than another 9.

[Stephen!]

if you don't think you can do it, then don't. Just fail your GCSE's (or whatever you're taking). Chances are you will be able to find a college which will take you on, start from scratch and work your way up. A friend of mine did this and now he's pretty much on the same level as me. Since the 5 Years I have left school, I've only been asked about my GCSE's once, and that was to gain entry to a course at college. If you find something that you're interested in at a local college, try and find the easiest course to get on to. If you show that you truly regret your decisions and want to sort yourself out, there is a decent chance of them accepting you. It will take time, but you can gradually make something of yourself.

[Glen Coco]

Why don't you just work through your lunch? That way yo catch up and you don't have to watch people talking.
You've got to grow some balls and go in or else you're not gonna get anywhere.