Relationships Died

[Jordy]

Bit of a strange one really but I went away recently for a week and since I've come back, me and my girlfriend can't really seem to connect at all, there's hardly any conversation anymore in the two of us it's quite weird. We also don't really see each other much atm as we've both been so busy so perhaps it's this but we do see each other in sixth form and we both seem to prefer spending time with friends instead.

I'm really at a liberty at what's happened and what to do.

We went out last year until she dumped me and since then I couldn't stop liking her really. Getting dumped absolutely broke me and I've never felt pain or insecurity like it. I spent a lot of time sorting myself out I'd like to think and we got back together during the summer and it's gone well since then up until now.

Quite frankly if she dumped me any day now I wouldn't be surprised and probably not that devastated but I'd rather give it a go as I'm absolutely **** scared of coming out of a relationship again :/ - I feel quite lost and insecure inside and when we're together, it just isn't right for now.

Any advice would be much appreciated.

[DPS]

Why not speak to her about it? i've been on and off with my current girlfriend since i was 11, im now 21, we dont get to spend much time together atm, as shes at Uni but i see her twice a week.

But i think you should tell her this, say how your feeling, she might be feeling the same, she might think you have been distant with her, you never know at the end of the day, the best thing is to talk and open up.

[Narnat,]

I think there needs to be some communication especially to try and fix it. Perhaps something happened during that week that has side tracked her? There are lots of possibilities. But I would really try and talk to her about it because it's not really fair on you. but good luck anyways.

[DPS]

Or maybe while you was away she got lonely... i know thats probs in your head, and its right to be there.

[Nemo]

Or maybe while you was away she got lonely... i know thats probs in your head, and its right to be there.
No it's not. That's insecure as **** and the only reason it's "right to be there" is if she has cheated on you before. Don't put such stupid ideas in his head.

Anyway, if you're busy you don't have to talk a lot. As long as you're still having fun when you're together, you don't have to constantly be joined at the hip like a lot of couples and be talking to each other every waking minute. If anything, im sure it's just a phase.

[Demi]

Hey,

This issue happened to me about 7 months ago and it's normal for one or both of the parties to get lonely. Maybe the 'flare' has gone? Maybe it hasn't?

I think the only thing to do, whatever the outcome in the end, for you to do is to talk to her and ask her how she feels and explain how you feel. I know with us guys it's hard for us to tell girls how we feel and all that jazz, but let's be honest girls appreciate it when guys are generally honest and open up.

So do yourself a favour and find out for good whatever the outcome, but just prepare yourself for the worst outcome...

If I can move on, anyone can :).

[Metric1]

Saying "we can still be friends" is like your mom telling you that your dog died and saying "you can still keep it."

[Ostinato]

Bit of a strange one really but I went away recently for a week and since I've come back, me and my girlfriend can't really seem to connect at all, there's hardly any conversation anymore in the two of us it's quite weird. We also don't really see each other much atm as we've both been so busy so perhaps it's this but we do see each other in sixth form and we both seem to prefer spending time with friends instead.

I'm really at a liberty at what's happened and what to do.

We went out last year until she dumped me and since then I couldn't stop liking her really. Getting dumped absolutely broke me and I've never felt pain or insecurity like it. I spent a lot of time sorting myself out I'd like to think and we got back together during the summer and it's gone well since then up until now.

Quite frankly if she dumped me any day now I wouldn't be surprised and probably not that devastated but I'd rather give it a go as I'm absolutely **** scared of coming out of a relationship again :/ - I feel quite lost and insecure inside and when we're together, it just isn't right for now.

Any advice would be much appreciated.

I think the main issue here is the fact that she has hurt you before, and as such you are more concerned this is going to be a repeat of the situation. However, ultimately it was your decision to forgive her and begin the relationship again this Summer and, as difficult as it may be, you need to try and push any insecurities you have of this to the back of your mind. You either need to be with her fully and forget what happened before, but I don't think you should be with her but be worrying all the time in case it happens again as that's not healthy for either of you to be frank.

Obviously though there is a problem here - and it could be very simple. Sometimes people are just different or she could be just down this week or something and you both are not in the mood to be as close or something and finding it more difficult to make convo etc. This is normal and happens in most relationships - there can be lulls of on and off's. However, it could be that in the week you were away shes been having some second thoughts or something.

To be honest I think the simplest solution here is to give her a call or just go over and see her, and basically ask if she's alright as your sensing things maybe are a bit different this week. She might explain it all to you and it could be a worry away for nothing, or alternatively it might not go as well - but at least you will know!

Good lucl.

[Accipiter]

Saying "we can still be friends" is like your mom telling you that your dog died and saying "you can still keep it."

When people use facebook jokes that are horrific to start with.

I'd say relationships don't always matter on conversations, its the feelings & expressions.

Obviously you have to talk, but i'm pretty sure if you stick with someone for a while the convo always dies...

start doing stuff together which will spur conversation? Walks, etc. The main problem is, is you thinking "Oh **** theirs a lack of conversation" which creates a conversation block in your mind straight away because you're stood there thinking "WHAT SHALL I TALK ABOUT" and the only two things that run through your head are those two speeches! LMAO, i've been in the situation, not with a partner just irl.